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Just don't know what to do

  • 25-07-2009 3:27pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    This is going to be a half rant half advice seeking kind of thing so please bear with me,

    Myself and GF have been together for 7 years since we were both late teens. We live together now and have been engaged since say 9 months ago. I have never had another GF and was very lonely before we where together. Anyway even though we fair a fair bit IMO which is maybe 3 or even 5 nights a week mostly about stupid stuff such as cleaning and the likes I would consider us happy.

    Anyway, Over the last 7 years she has gotten into the habit of sometimes basically ending the relationship during said stupid fights and we make up untill the next one. Truth be told I know this is very unfair as it upsets me and I kn0w that more often then not I am in the right as she can take out other frustrations she has on me and starts said stupid fights or at least thats what I believe.

    So I'm out work at the moment and basically I feel she is constantly on my case about the cleaning of the house, I know I could prob do it better but I def do keep it tidy and SOMETIMES I find myself thinking would my life be better if I traveled which I never got a chance to do or lived with a group of lads which I never got a chance to do or lived on my own which I only did for a short while. Now We had a usual fight today I stayed out at home because I got roped into helping my dad paint and she went home in huff and cleaned for the couple of hours I was gone. I knew going home she was going to be pissed off and while I was painting with him I engaged in the old fantasy of being on some beach somewhere living life.

    Came home and usual **** starts of shouting at anything I do and so close to getting kicked out of the house. At this point I loose it and Raise my voice telling her to F off Which I rarely do. Now this leads into to usual right we are finished and something happens to me I just don't care about it. I mean I'm rightling this and I'm not even upset while other times we have rowed I've been very upset.

    So I agreed that ya I'm gone we both did a back and forth while I very quietly aired what I felt was wrong and she was geeting fairly upset and shouting about this and that. Eventually she but her engagement ring infront of me and left.

    That was about an hour ago and I don't even know should I bother texting her or leaving for the night.

    Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly when we are happy and she is in a good mood but that isn't often enough IMO and sometimes I just don't know did I miss too much life to be in the position I'm in ya know?

    Anyway, thanks if you stayed with me and I'm sorry about the lenght of the post I welcome all comments.

    And thanks in advance.


Comments

  • #2
    Skapoot
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 140 ✭✭Skapoot


    Jesus she's immature. Breaking up with you every 5 seconds. 7 years is a long time and I hate to tell you to throw it away . But... You've planned to be together the rest of ye're lives and she's actin the bollox and throwin you outta the house etc and breaking up with you left right and centre


    Thats not a stable relationship. and Its understandable why you're beginning not to give a toss about it. you're getting no respect off her at all.

    I'd say end it with her, ignore her texts calls and abuse for a week or two. Twill hopefully shake her up a bit. Maybe she'll come crawling back.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The breaking up every 5 mins does suggest that she's quite passive-aggressive, controlling and manipulative. When you get to the point such as you are at in that you no longer care usually means that the relationship has run it's course and especially when you're starting to have dreams of your own without her involved.
    Having said that it would be interesting to know if there is something else that is bothering her and it comes out out as frustation against you and your 'inept cleaning skills''. It might be worth probing but if it turns out that there's nothing as such and it is just her personality then you need to decide if you have a future together. If you don't fulfill those dreams you will probably end up resenting her anyway.


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