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Should I report a neighbour?

  • 24-07-2009 11:47PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    Right before I start this Im going unreg because I know I'll be getting a right tongue lashing from other single mothers.

    Neighbour moved in next door to my family two weeks ago with her young son. From day one people have been in and out of her apartment, so much so that we actually didn't know who was living in the apartment.
    From day one, every night seems to be party night. Drinking and music till all hours.
    Also shouting and fighting most nights resulting in the garda being called twice.

    This week it became apparent that herself, the boyfriend and a friend are living in the apartment. This morning the local welfare officer called to her door and was asking what her sister was doing there and that she'd been there the last two times theyve called.
    She had explained that it was a coincidence that she had stayed over the three times they've been up.

    For two weeks, myself nor the wife have gotten much sleep.
    We worked damn hard for years to be able to afford our apartment and have decided agains moving.
    The final straw was yesterday when a car pulled up and the boyfriend went out and gave the passenger money in exchange for a small package in broad daylight with the neighbours children playing only a few meters away!
    I went down to my local garda station and reported this particular situation and they said not to confront them ourselves and to ring them the next time.

    To be honest myself and the wife are scared of these people and just want them out as do other neighbours. So we've decided on reporting her to the local welfare office.

    Just want peoples point of view whether this would be selfish thing to do?
    Also would you reckon the welfare officer would even care?

    Thank you in advance for the replies and any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 88,968 ✭✭✭✭mike65


    If you have decided then you need to have the courage of your convictions. No point in looking for back up or opprobrium here :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,762 ✭✭✭turgon


    To be honest myself and the wife are scared of these people

    You have a right not to live in fear. Go for it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,683 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    am i right in saying you would feel selfish in reporting a negligent single mother?


    ahm, dont be.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58 ✭✭sirgandi


    You must take your own safety into consideration. Things are bound to get worse before they get any better, and the sooner you do something about it the better. People like that have no regard for anyone not connected to them and especially don't feel guilty about raping our welfare system in these troubled times. Report them, but make sure that they don't find out it was you that did!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    I think the thread title is misleading.....

    From what you've described, you're reporting an anti-social sponger who might possibly be doing drugs (although a taxi delivering a package COULD be explained by legitimate circumstances).

    Report away!

    Lots of "single mums" are OK - there but for the grace of God, etc, although I do have an issue with ones that have a couple of kids by different dads; that's bloody careless at best, and while I wouldn't agree with the usual prejudice that it's 100% "deliberate", it's because they're safe in the knowledge that you & I will pick up the tab.....

    It's one thing being "unlucky" in life, and everyone deserves a chance.

    But being a prick and milking the system is another story entirely.

    Plus if the b/f is there, staying over so that 2 of them have free accomodation on us, she's hardly a 100% "single mum".

    People like this give genuine causes a bad name, and the sooner they're exposed the sooner the prejudices against genuine cases can live without fear of annoyance and distain.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34 finishedart


    My family have just been forced out of our estate by the same type of behaviour. It happened because ''we happened to see too much''. It took the local council three years to find and build us a suitable house. Those years were pure hell. Report it I say and good luck. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,511 ✭✭✭Outkast_IRE


    report it !!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,836 ✭✭✭TanG411


    you say she's a single mother, yet by your story she has a boyfriend.

    Don't have any guilt. Report her ASAP. Who knows what she's up to.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 339 ✭✭Darthhoob


    why does it matter that she is a single mother to you? just a question that came into my head. you think that gives her some extra right to be an anti-social bitch or something? :) just curious

    she seems to be an awful awful neighbour, one who seems to be cheating the system and drug dealing. i'd report her within a heartbeat....and i've been a single mum on welfare before ;) that gives her no excuse to be the way she is...in fact it should be the reason she should cop on!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,580 ✭✭✭Splendour


    Right before I start this Im going unreg because I know I'll be getting a right tongue lashing from other single mothers.

    Am curious as to why you assume you'll get a tongue lashing from single mothers abut this?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    If she is defrauding the welfare system then report her, if you think her children are at risk then you can lodge a report with socail workers anon under the child protection act.

    Is she renting from a private landlord? if so you could contact them directly about thier tennats behaviour.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭jethrodublin


    i'm not backing up her behaviour, but you may have to go down the road of the landlord rather than reporting her.

    just because she's a single mother doesn't mean she has to spend the rest of her life alone, so she's is perfectly entitled to co habit to a certain degree. i think it is 4 nights a week, or it was last time i checked it out.

    if the bf isn't the chids father, your looking at having to prove yourself that he is there more than the allowed time. that = messy. so constant reporting on other issues may be the quicker way to go about this.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 224 ✭✭nayorleck114


    There are thousands of Single mothers who have kids to avail of our generous Social Welfare benefits. I know there are genuine people who need it (about 5%) the rest just take advantage. You should report her.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,070 ✭✭✭ScouseMouse


    Whats stopping you? You know what you have to do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 444 ✭✭goldenbrown


    have a right not to be encumbered...report it by anonymous very detailed letter to head of department at your local social welfare office, find it in the phonebook, also make Minister Hanifen a cc party on the letter for real action..

    just do it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46 flibbertyjibbet


    Darthhoob wrote: »
    why does it matter that she is a single mother to you? just a question that came into my head. you think that gives her some extra right to be an anti-social bitch or something? :) just curious

    she seems to be an awful awful neighbour, one who seems to be cheating the system and drug dealing. i'd report her within a heartbeat....and i've been a single mum on welfare before ;) that gives her no excuse to be the way she is...in fact it should be the reason she should cop on!

    I thought he meant that by reporting a single mother he was risking making some child parentless, so he wanted to be really sure about what he was doing


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,382 ✭✭✭✭greendom


    There are thousands of Single mothers who have kids to avail of our generous Social Welfare benefits. I know there are genuine people who need it (about 5%) the rest just take advantage. You should report her.

    Where do you get these stats from ? i'm sure the government/social welfare will be delighted they can reduce their payouts to single mothers by 95% :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,952 ✭✭✭aujopimur


    What has being a single mother got to do with it, its anti social behavior


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,817 ✭✭✭ynotdu


    Should I report a single mother?
    Right before I start this Im going unreg because I know I'll be getting a right tongue lashing from other single mothers.

    Neighbour moved in next door to my family two weeks ago with her young son. From day one people have been in and out of her apartment, so much so that we actually didn't know who was living in the apartment.
    From day one, every night seems to be party night. Drinking and music till all hours.
    Also shouting and fighting most nights resulting in the garda being called twice

    I only want to comment on the part of your post i have copied&pasted(I prefer to live and let live as far as possible and resolve arguments with adults between myself and them.)

    I am assuming you are being 100% truthful in the entire post(cant see why you would,nt be)
    My real concern is for the children(her being single mother is immaterial IMO)
    Her childrens circumstances sounds like a traumatic Nightmare and will most proably leave them scarred for life should it continue:mad:
    We have all seen women and men break down on national TV who were the victoms of physical/sexual/mental abuse 20-60 years ago.
    they have suffered mental torture all this time as a result,*god* help them.

    in all conscience that is the part that would be the tipping point for me,
    I could not turn a blind eye to the suffering of the children and would do ALL i can to stop it ASAP.
    I would not go the route of reporting her to social welfare,goes against my grain!
    if you are suffering so much from late night noise,drunken(possibly drugged) neighbours,imagine how much the kids are suffering:mad:
    It is something we collectivley cannot allow to happen to helpless people.
    I feel really sorry for your dilema and realise it is not at all fair to you either,but you are not entirely helpless to help yourself.
    children are helpless to scumbag parents if you/we allow it.
    as poster above has said you could report to social services or may,be seek advice from Barnardo,s?
    hope this improves for you:)
    may,be you will keep us posted?and boardsies at least can see if *all the children of the state*are being treated equally even at this late stage?

    good luck:)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    She is defrauding all of us. Report her.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Right before I start this Im going unreg because I know I'll be getting a right tongue lashing from other single mothers.

    Neighbour moved in next door to my family two weeks ago with her young son. From day one people have been in and out of her apartment, so much so that we actually didn't know who was living in the apartment.
    From day one, every night seems to be party night. Drinking and music till all hours.
    Also shouting and fighting most nights resulting in the garda being called twice.

    This week it became apparent that herself, the boyfriend and a friend are living in the apartment. This morning the local welfare officer called to her door and was asking what her sister was doing there and that she'd been there the last two times theyve called.
    She had explained that it was a coincidence that she had stayed over the three times they've been up.

    For two weeks, myself nor the wife have gotten much sleep.
    We worked damn hard for years to be able to afford our apartment and have decided agains moving.
    The final straw was yesterday when a car pulled up and the boyfriend went out and gave the passenger money in exchange for a small package in broad daylight with the neighbours children playing only a few meters away!
    I went down to my local garda station and reported this particular situation and they said not to confront them ourselves and to ring them the next time.

    To be honest myself and the wife are scared of these people and just want them out as do other neighbours. So we've decided on reporting her to the local welfare office.

    Just want peoples point of view whether this would be selfish thing to do?
    Also would you reckon the welfare officer would even care?

    Thank you in advance for the replies and any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

    This situation is widespread across the country so the sooner you report her the better.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,282 ✭✭✭thefeatheredcat


    From day one, every night seems to be party night. Drinking and music till all hours.
    Also shouting and fighting most nights resulting in the garda being called twice.

    OP,

    Not sure about reporting to welfare officer, unless you feel that their child is in danger or being affected by the anti social behaviour.

    However, I wouldn't accept the music all hours and you'd be right to report that, especially if its disturbing others as well and not just yourselves. Don't confront them yourselves under any circumstances as this will create a worse situation.

    Sounds all entirely quite dubious though, hope it works out!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi op here.

    Ive got absolutly nothing against single mothers. My sister is one.
    Im just sying that if it were her and the kid living there like its supposed to then maybe there wouldnt be so much anti social behaviour.
    But it seems the "visitors" are coming to see the boyfriend.

    Can the PRTB not do anything??? Like I said a car pulled up with a few fellas and a package was exchanged for money.
    Little prick also stands outside the building discussing drugs and money owed on his mobile ffs!
    Residents of the building just want her out!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Well then find out who the landlord is and get everyone to lodge comlaints with them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Easier said then done mate. Nobody in the building will even ring the gardai theyre that scared! Seriously thinking somebody across the road has noticed as well because no one here rang the gardai.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Does the apartment complex have a management committee or some other body to whom a complaint could be made, which can then be forwarded to the landlord?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,580 ✭✭✭Splendour


    ynotdu wrote: »
    My real concern is for the children(her being single mother is immaterial IMO)
    Her childrens circumstances sounds like a traumatic Nightmare and will most proably leave them scarred for life should it continue:mad:
    We have all seen women and men break down on national TV who were the victoms of physical/sexual/mental abuse 20-60 years ago.
    they have suffered mental torture all this time as a result,*god* help them.

    in all conscience that is the part that would be the tipping point for me,
    I could not turn a blind eye to the suffering of the children and would do ALL i can to stop it ASAP.
    if you are suffering so much from late night noise,drunken(possibly drugged) neighbours,imagine how much the kids are suffering:mad:
    It is something we collectivley cannot allow to happen to helpless people.
    I feel really sorry for your dilema and realise it is not at all fair to you either,but you are not entirely helpless to help yourself.
    children are helpless to scumbag parents if you/we allow it.
    as poster above has said you could report to social services or may,be seek advice from Barnardo,s?
    hope this improves for you:)
    may,be you will keep us posted?and boardsies at least can see if *all the children of the state*are being treated equally even at this late stage?

    good luck:)

    I would tend to agree with this poster. The welfare of the child is the most important consideration.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3 MartinK


    It depends what she spends the money on. If she has a large 42in Tv and new mobile phone than report her but if she spends all the cash on the baby than don’t. Go with your gut feeling on this one.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,991 ✭✭✭metamorphosis


    The issue here does not seem to lie with the fact that it is a single mother but rather it is an issue of a mother who is uncapabable of raising a child. Some people should need lisences to raise kids!

    Don't feel guilty. Horrible situation to be in


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella



    This week it became apparent that herself, the boyfriend and a friend are living in the apartment.

    The boyfriend, eh? Not so single is she?! Go for it!


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