Should I report a neighbour?

LegacyUser

Right before I start this Im going unreg because I know I'll be getting a right tongue lashing from other single mothers.

Neighbour moved in next door to my family two weeks ago with her young son. From day one people have been in and out of her apartment, so much so that we actually didn't know who was living in the apartment.
From day one, every night seems to be party night. Drinking and music till all hours.
Also shouting and fighting most nights resulting in the garda being called twice.

This week it became apparent that herself, the boyfriend and a friend are living in the apartment. This morning the local welfare officer called to her door and was asking what her sister was doing there and that she'd been there the last two times theyve called.
She had explained that it was a coincidence that she had stayed over the three times they've been up.

For two weeks, myself nor the wife have gotten much sleep.
We worked damn hard for years to be able to afford our apartment and have decided agains moving.
The final straw was yesterday when a car pulled up and the boyfriend went out and gave the passenger money in exchange for a small package in broad daylight with the neighbours children playing only a few meters away!
I went down to my local garda station and reported this particular situation and they said not to confront them ourselves and to ring them the next time.

To be honest myself and the wife are scared of these people and just want them out as do other neighbours. So we've decided on reporting her to the local welfare office.

Just want peoples point of view whether this would be selfish thing to do?
Also would you reckon the welfare officer would even care?

Thank you in advance for the replies and any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

mike65

If you have decided then you need to have the courage of your convictions. No point in looking for back up or opprobrium here

turgon

Unregistered wrote: »

To be honest myself and the wife are scared of these people

You have a right not to live in fear. Go for it.

Overheal

am i right in saying you would feel selfish in reporting a negligent single mother?


ahm, dont be.

sirgandi

You must take your own safety into consideration. Things are bound to get worse before they get any better, and the sooner you do something about it the better. People like that have no regard for anyone not connected to them and especially don't feel guilty about raping our welfare system in these troubled times. Report them, but make sure that they don't find out it was you that did!

Liam Byrne

I think the thread title is misleading.....

From what you've described, you're reporting an anti-social sponger who might possibly be doing drugs (although a taxi delivering a package COULD be explained by legitimate circumstances).

Report away!

Lots of "single mums" are OK - there but for the grace of God, etc, although I do have an issue with ones that have a couple of kids by different dads; that's bloody careless at best, and while I wouldn't agree with the usual prejudice that it's 100% "deliberate", it's because they're safe in the knowledge that you & I will pick up the tab.....

It's one thing being "unlucky" in life, and everyone deserves a chance.

But being a prick and milking the system is another story entirely.

Plus if the b/f is there, staying over so that 2 of them have free accomodation on us, she's hardly a 100% "single mum".

People like this give genuine causes a bad name, and the sooner they're exposed the sooner the prejudices against genuine cases can live without fear of annoyance and distain.

finishedart

My family have just been forced out of our estate by the same type of behaviour. It happened because ''we happened to see too much''. It took the local council three years to find and build us a suitable house. Those years were pure hell. Report it I say and good luck.

Outkast_IRE

report it !!!

TanG411

you say she's a single mother, yet by your story she has a boyfriend.

Don't have any guilt. Report her ASAP. Who knows what she's up to.

Darthhoob

why does it matter that she is a single mother to you? just a question that came into my head. you think that gives her some extra right to be an anti-social bitch or something? just curious

she seems to be an awful awful neighbour, one who seems to be cheating the system and drug dealing. i'd report her within a heartbeat....and i've been a single mum on welfare before that gives her no excuse to be the way she is...in fact it should be the reason she should cop on!

Splendour

Unregistered wrote: »

Right before I start this Im going unreg because I know I'll be getting a right tongue lashing from other single mothers.

Am curious as to why you assume you'll get a tongue lashing from single mothers abut this?

Nevyn

If she is defrauding the welfare system then report her, if you think her children are at risk then you can lodge a report with socail workers anon under the child protection act.

Is she renting from a private landlord? if so you could contact them directly about thier tennats behaviour.

jethrodublin

i'm not backing up her behaviour, but you may have to go down the road of the landlord rather than reporting her.

just because she's a single mother doesn't mean she has to spend the rest of her life alone, so she's is perfectly entitled to co habit to a certain degree. i think it is 4 nights a week, or it was last time i checked it out.

if the bf isn't the chids father, your looking at having to prove yourself that he is there more than the allowed time. that = messy. so constant reporting on other issues may be the quicker way to go about this.

nayorleck114

There are thousands of Single mothers who have kids to avail of our generous Social Welfare benefits. I know there are genuine people who need it (about 5%) the rest just take advantage. You should report her.

ScouseMouse

Whats stopping you? You know what you have to do.

goldenbrown

have a right not to be encumbered...report it by anonymous very detailed letter to head of department at your local social welfare office, find it in the phonebook, also make Minister Hanifen a cc party on the letter for real action..

just do it

flibbertyjibbet

Darthhoob wrote: »

why does it matter that she is a single mother to you? just a question that came into my head. you think that gives her some extra right to be an anti-social bitch or something? just curious

she seems to be an awful awful neighbour, one who seems to be cheating the system and drug dealing. i'd report her within a heartbeat....and i've been a single mum on welfare before that gives her no excuse to be the way she is...in fact it should be the reason she should cop on!

I thought he meant that by reporting a single mother he was risking making some child parentless, so he wanted to be really sure about what he was doing

greendom

nayorleck114 wrote: »

There are thousands of Single mothers who have kids to avail of our generous Social Welfare benefits. I know there are genuine people who need it (about 5%) the rest just take advantage. You should report her.

Where do you get these stats from ? i'm sure the government/social welfare will be delighted they can reduce their payouts to single mothers by 95% :rolleyes:

aujopimur

What has being a single mother got to do with it, its anti social behavior

ynotdu

Should I report a single mother?
Right before I start this Im going unreg because I know I'll be getting a right tongue lashing from other single mothers.

Neighbour moved in next door to my family two weeks ago with her young son. From day one people have been in and out of her apartment, so much so that we actually didn't know who was living in the apartment.
From day one, every night seems to be party night. Drinking and music till all hours.
Also shouting and fighting most nights resulting in the garda being called twice

I only want to comment on the part of your post i have copied&pasted(I prefer to live and let live as far as possible and resolve arguments with adults between myself and them.)

I am assuming you are being 100% truthful in the entire post(cant see why you would,nt be)
My real concern is for the children(her being single mother is immaterial IMO)
Her childrens circumstances sounds like a traumatic Nightmare and will most proably leave them scarred for life should it continue:mad:
We have all seen women and men break down on national TV who were the victoms of physical/sexual/mental abuse 20-60 years ago.
they have suffered mental torture all this time as a result,*god* help them.

in all conscience that is the part that would be the tipping point for me,
I could not turn a blind eye to the suffering of the children and would do ALL i can to stop it ASAP.
I would not go the route of reporting her to social welfare,goes against my grain!
if you are suffering so much from late night noise,drunken(possibly drugged) neighbours,imagine how much the kids are suffering:mad:
It is something we collectivley cannot allow to happen to helpless people.
I feel really sorry for your dilema and realise it is not at all fair to you either,but you are not entirely helpless to help yourself.
children are helpless to scumbag parents if you/we allow it.
as poster above has said you could report to social services or may,be seek advice from Barnardo,s?
hope this improves for you:)
may,be you will keep us posted?and boardsies at least can see if *all the children of the state*are being treated equally even at this late stage?

good luck:)

LegacyUser

She is defrauding all of us. Report her.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Right before I start this Im going unreg because I know I'll be getting a right tongue lashing from other single mothers.

Neighbour moved in next door to my family two weeks ago with her young son. From day one people have been in and out of her apartment, so much so that we actually didn't know who was living in the apartment.
From day one, every night seems to be party night. Drinking and music till all hours.
Also shouting and fighting most nights resulting in the garda being called twice.

This week it became apparent that herself, the boyfriend and a friend are living in the apartment. This morning the local welfare officer called to her door and was asking what her sister was doing there and that she'd been there the last two times theyve called.
She had explained that it was a coincidence that she had stayed over the three times they've been up.

For two weeks, myself nor the wife have gotten much sleep.
We worked damn hard for years to be able to afford our apartment and have decided agains moving.
The final straw was yesterday when a car pulled up and the boyfriend went out and gave the passenger money in exchange for a small package in broad daylight with the neighbours children playing only a few meters away!
I went down to my local garda station and reported this particular situation and they said not to confront them ourselves and to ring them the next time.

To be honest myself and the wife are scared of these people and just want them out as do other neighbours. So we've decided on reporting her to the local welfare office.

Just want peoples point of view whether this would be selfish thing to do?
Also would you reckon the welfare officer would even care?

Thank you in advance for the replies and any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

This situation is widespread across the country so the sooner you report her the better.

thefeatheredcat

Unregistered wrote: »

From day one, every night seems to be party night. Drinking and music till all hours.
Also shouting and fighting most nights resulting in the garda being called twice.

OP,

Not sure about reporting to welfare officer, unless you feel that their child is in danger or being affected by the anti social behaviour.

However, I wouldn't accept the music all hours and you'd be right to report that, especially if its disturbing others as well and not just yourselves. Don't confront them yourselves under any circumstances as this will create a worse situation.

Sounds all entirely quite dubious though, hope it works out!

LegacyUser

Hi op here.

Ive got absolutly nothing against single mothers. My sister is one.
Im just sying that if it were her and the kid living there like its supposed to then maybe there wouldnt be so much anti social behaviour.
But it seems the "visitors" are coming to see the boyfriend.

Can the PRTB not do anything??? Like I said a car pulled up with a few fellas and a package was exchanged for money.
Little prick also stands outside the building discussing drugs and money owed on his mobile ffs!
Residents of the building just want her out!

Nevyn

Well then find out who the landlord is and get everyone to lodge comlaints with them.

LegacyUser

Easier said then done mate. Nobody in the building will even ring the gardai theyre that scared! Seriously thinking somebody across the road has noticed as well because no one here rang the gardai.

Dudess

Does the apartment complex have a management committee or some other body to whom a complaint could be made, which can then be forwarded to the landlord?

Splendour

ynotdu wrote: »

My real concern is for the children(her being single mother is immaterial IMO)
Her childrens circumstances sounds like a traumatic Nightmare and will most proably leave them scarred for life should it continue:mad:
We have all seen women and men break down on national TV who were the victoms of physical/sexual/mental abuse 20-60 years ago.
they have suffered mental torture all this time as a result,*god* help them.

in all conscience that is the part that would be the tipping point for me,
I could not turn a blind eye to the suffering of the children and would do ALL i can to stop it ASAP.
if you are suffering so much from late night noise,drunken(possibly drugged) neighbours,imagine how much the kids are suffering:mad:
It is something we collectivley cannot allow to happen to helpless people.
I feel really sorry for your dilema and realise it is not at all fair to you either,but you are not entirely helpless to help yourself.
children are helpless to scumbag parents if you/we allow it.
as poster above has said you could report to social services or may,be seek advice from Barnardo,s?
hope this improves for you:)
may,be you will keep us posted?and boardsies at least can see if *all the children of the state*are being treated equally even at this late stage?

good luck:)

I would tend to agree with this poster. The welfare of the child is the most important consideration.

MartinK

It depends what she spends the money on. If she has a large 42in Tv and new mobile phone than report her but if she spends all the cash on the baby than don’t. Go with your gut feeling on this one.

metamorphosis

The issue here does not seem to lie with the fact that it is a single mother but rather it is an issue of a mother who is uncapabable of raising a child. Some people should need lisences to raise kids!

Don't feel guilty. Horrible situation to be in

Novella

Unregistered wrote: »

This week it became apparent that herself, the boyfriend and a friend are living in the apartment.

The boyfriend, eh? Not so single is she?! Go for it!

Queen-Mise

Reporting her to whom? This is the question I would ask. Social Welfare does seem a bit pointless to be honest.

Reporting her to SW for being a single mum with other people living in the house, isn't going to sort out any of your problems. The single mum is going to have to explain herself, probably lie her way out of it. She may take a financial hit but that's it.

Would it not make more sense to go through the landlord and try to have the woman evicted.

What I find very interesting though, is why on earth you are not talking about reporting her to the Social Workers though If she is doing everything you say she is, how could she possibly be a providing a good, stable home for her child/children.

philologos

OP: Do it, people should respect their neighbours and it is clear that this isn't happening in this case. Besides if she has a boyfriend is she really a single mother?

LegacyUser

Apart from the concern for the childs welfare, this behaviour would be considered anti social behaviour & you might be able to get her out on this basis. See www.citizensinformation.ie for info on this. I think what is normally recommended in these instances is to keep a diary of everything that goes on i.e. party times & noise levels and all other suspicious behaviour so that you have back up. If all residents stick together (& possibly neighbours in other buildings) then they cant single out anybody for possible recriminations.

DublinWriter

Firstly, the issue is not that she's a single mother apparently defrauding the system, the issue is her anti-social behaviour - don't beat yourself up about reporting her.

As stated, keep a log. I can't stress how important that is.

Use all the legal means you can to get her out. Don't feel bad about it for even a second. She doesn't respect your feelings, so why should you respect hers?

LegacyUser

Had a chat with the other residents and we've decided to write an anonymous letter to the socil welfare about the boyfriend and friend living at the address. But Im doubhting if they'll even do anything about it!

Someone also suggested in keeping watch at cars coming up to the building and to tip the gardai off when we're sure that there are drugs in the apartment. In the hope that if the drug squad search the house one or twice she'll move out. Im just thinking of that poor child when everythings being turned over.

We dont have an address for the landlord which is why we havent contacted him.

seahorse

If the object of the exercise is to get her out of the apartment I dont understand why you're concentrating your efforts on the social welfare. They've got nothing to do with her housing situation. If I were you I'd be asking the Guards for assistance in finding out who her landlord is.

ynotdu

Unregistered wrote: »

Had a chat with the other residents and we've decided to write an anonymous letter to the socil welfare about the boyfriend and friend living at the address. But Im doubhting if they'll even do anything about it!

Someone also suggested in keeping watch at cars coming up to the building and to tip the gardai off when we're sure that there are drugs in the apartment. In the hope that if the drug squad search the house one or twice she'll move out. Im just thinking of that poor child when everythings being turned over.

We dont have an address for the landlord which is why we havent contacted him.

Hi again,If she loses her payment it will most likely be the child who suffers in the long term.same proably happen if they realise the guards were called upon.

If you and the neighbours report her to guards and drugs are involved his friends will pick on someone in the neighbourhood to set an example to you all.who knows who they would pick on?

It is a shocking situation but even in the *good times* many had to deal with the terrible situation you and your partner are living with.

I already suggested Barnado,s for advice.
You could also talk to a sinn fein rep whom the scumbags might realise they cant keep giving the two fingers to.

be more clevor than them!
If you choose your actions carefully,You will get peace,a child will be saved from abuse and may,be it will be the catalyst to turn the mother at least to change her ways&get help for her problems.
it could be a win win for all.
i DO realise all this is easior said than done!
good luck,You are on the front line so you no better than us what are your options.

Reflector

report her defo,
She is taking advantage of a system designed to help people who are genuinely on their own. Also she sounds like a complete scumbag drinking all night and keeping you up. You are entitled to some consideration. Do not feel the least bit guilty here. You are doing the right thing.
Good luck, hopefully it'll get sorted out.

LegacyUser

Defo report her,

I done it a girl i knew not very well told me how she was on the way to the welfare to say her buggy broke so she could head out that night, i was fuming i work hard and can just about keep what i have, and she's off wasting my tax payers money,

They stopped her payments and put her on a FAS course!

livEwirE

We dont have an address for the landlord which is why we havent contacted him.

Contact the Private Residential Tenancies Board.

Check out Access To Information

All Landlords MUST register with them.

You basically send them a letter(not email/not fax) telling them you want to request information about the landlord. They will NOT give you this information over the phone. They are legally obliged to provide you with the name and contact details of the landlord. I have done this before so I know it works. Then you could contact him and let him know whats going one. I'm sure he's probably no idea anyway.

I had to deal with scum like this before, although not drug dealers. I contacted the PRTB who provided landlord info, I then went to the landlord, which was in fact a management company and they had the residents removed! The main thing here is all of the residents seem to be on your side, in my case, no one else had the nerve to stand up to the scumbags so I had to do everything on my own.

Definately report her and her sumbag associates. Things will only get worse if you don't.

Good luck!

Framework

100% report it..As citizens it is our duty to report suspected fraud..that is why social welfare have such a department below..If they are genuine,then they should have no problem being investigated........If everyone reported we would save millions in costs and might reduce the need for more levies/taxes...btw you can do it annoymously


Fraud section contact details - from the bottom of this page - http://www.welfare.ie/EN/Press/Press.../pr210109.aspx

"Reporting possible fraud The Central Control Section of the Department of Social and Family Affairs accepts reports of possible fraud offered by members of the public in relation to the Department’s schemes.
Reports are accepted by email, phone or in writing. All reports are dealt with in confidence. A member of the public may give details anonymously.
Contact Details:
By email: central.control@welfare.ie
By phone: (01) 704 3000, ask for Central Control Section,
By Post: Central Control Division, Shannon Lodge, Carrick-on-Shannon, Co Leitrim."

benj

def do it....

ynotdu

benj wrote: »

def do it....

It is the easy,often most populist thing to say "Report her"etc

the OP has admitted that the guy in particulor *scares them*

In the case of drug users or pushers being scared is a very sensible way to feel.

some dont seem to give a damn about the child.

some seem not to have thought through the possible repercussions to the OP.

The Guards cannot keep a 24 hour watch on ANYBODY.

think of the guy in Limerick who gave evidence against a scumbag,it was not him who was shot to death but his son running an amusement arcade.

the Italian in Bray shot through the head,not because he had ANYTHING to do with drugs but because a distant relative does.

I am not suggesting that we should live in fear of these scumbags,I am suggesting that we be more clevour than them.

to the members who post one line *simple solutions*to the OP,s problem i can only think you must never have had to deal with people as described by OP?

it is not easy and the state cannot help very much.
Caution must be the watchword,not stupidity.

benj

ynotdu wrote: »

It is the easy,often most populist thing to say "Report her"etc

the OP has admitted that the guy in particulor *scares them*

In the case of drug users or pushers being scared is a very sensible way to feel.

some dont seem to give a damn about the child.

some seem not to have thought through the possible repercussions to the OP.

The Guards cannot keep a 24 hour watch on ANYBODY.

think of the guy in Limerick who gave evidence against a scumbag,it was not him who was shot to death but his son running an amusement arcade.

the Italian in Bray shot through the head,not because he had ANYTHING to do with drugs but because a distant relative does.

I am not suggesting that we should live in fear of these scumbags,I am suggesting that we be more clevour than them.

to the members who post one line *simple solutions*to the OP,s problem i can only think you must never have had to deal with people as described by OP?

it is not easy and the state cannot help very much.
Caution must be the watchword,not stupidity.

when i said "def do it" i didn't mean call the gardai and call to the neighbours door with them,
the op can always phone garda confidential line so gardai can keep an eye on these neighbours

Kidchameleon

Thaedydal wrote: »

If she is defrauding the welfare system then report her, if you think her children are at risk then you can lodge a report with socail workers anon under the child protection act.

Is she renting from a private landlord? if so you could contact them directly about thier tennats behaviour.

Is there a way to find out who the landlord is without asking the tenants? (Similar situation myself)

AckwelFoley

I feel your pain.

I have one of those neighbours. Most of the problems was with physical abuse (caught he by the neck once) toward my fiance before i knew her, however after a small theift incident - I eventually one day waited till the kids were gone out with the mother, knocked on the door and promised i'd leave the wrecking bar i was caressing in my hands in his head if he bothered me or my fiance again. Worked a treat. He wont even look at me or her.

I dont advise the same solution as i can be rather fool hardy at times.

However i do suggest you do perhaps make enquiries to their landlord, its unlikely he wants people like that in his property. I as someone that has property rented wouldnt, and they - including the kids would be out on their ear in quick time.

I am geneuinely sorry to see you in this prediciment. Its a common problem all over the country thanks to the social and affordable housing scheme

AckwelFoley

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Is there a way to find out who the landlord is without asking the tenants? (Similar situation myself)

Ask the postman.

mikemac

Report it!

You worked hard for your flat and where you are.
You wouldn't tolerate someone stealing from you but this is what's happening.