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At a Crossroads

  • 23-07-2009 09:11PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    I am 29. And I am very confused about what to do with my life. I am in a long term relationship and now my girlfriend wants to settle down and buy a house and in a few yrs to start a family.
    Then I have a well paid and pretty secure job. However, I do not enjoy it and I absolutely hate those monday mornings. And cannot wait for the weekend. Is that the way to live life??
    I was recently away on a lads holiday for the first time ever and I loved it. Was brilliant. Enjoyed being free and single, going on the piss, not thinking about work, and having fun with my best mates.
    Now that I'm back home, I feel depressed and getting p1ssed at my girlfriend at trivial things and just not wanting to be here really. I would just love to be away in a different country with proper weather. And I feel annoyed and fed up with Irish people in general. Why? Cos a lot come across as 2 faced.

    So where do I go? Do I drop everything and just fck off? A member of my family died suddenly recently so I would only upset my family more and would feel selfish. Which maybe I am.
    And then my girlfriend. Who has always been there for me. Do I just turn around and treat her like sh1t and say im off?

    Any advice appreciated. And would love to hear from people who have felt like this in the past.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm 29 & am at a crossroads too. However i dont have a girlfriend, i lost my job 4 months ago & like many people haven't had much luck finding a new one. Would gladly swap places with you.
    If you want to be single, then end it with your girlfriend. it IS as simple as that. Or maybe think about the things you do have rather than what you don't.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 48 mam1


    Hi why not suggest a career break for both of you and head off for 6 months to a year around the world, travel together and see how it goes it can be like a trial period of living together and you will certainly know if you want to be with your gf for the rest of your lives....if she says no not interested go it alone get it out of your system now so you dont regret it later...Enjoy!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3 MartinK


    Take 6months off work and go back-packing around Asia with your girlfriend. At the end of it you should have a pretty good idea if you are meant to be together.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    In fairness, you sound very irritated at the rut you're in, but you don't sound upset about your girlfriend. You do need a change, but what kind of change - location, job, girlfriend, or some combination of all.

    Have you sat down with your girlfriend and talked this through with her?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi. I would just like to tell you that your not alone in this situation. I'm also 29 years of age. I went to college and studied hard then finished and went straight into working because my girlfriend at the time had a job in Dublin. I always wanted to head off and travel, but wanted to get experience working first. I could never settle into a job properly (i.e a year here and a year there). At the time I was very unsettled and knew that she wasn't the one. We broke up and I found that I had no money to do anything, hence I had to get another job.

    6 months later I met a girl who I'm presently with for the past 2.5 years and I'm very happy in the relationship. She is studying and now going into her final year, whereas I've been let go from my job due to the economic situation. She is in college as a muture student and has travelled already. I have told here that I was considering travelling. I won't get a job in my field for at least the next 2years (Construction), now is the best time for me to travel. She has taken it fairly bad.....But I know myself that I have to do it, and if I wait for her to finish college it will be another year or 2 before we go. If I don't go and we settle down together I could end up resenting her. I know she is the girl I want to be with, but I can't wait for her. I also want to have different experiences (not in a sexual manner) and not worry about someone else for a while, especially travelling.

    I understand were your coming from, but I really think you should get the travelling out of the way, but you have to decide how you feel about this girl, I'm sure you will be in situations when your away where you will be tested in your relationship. It won't be fair on your girlfriend who wants to settle with you when you get home if your sewing the wild oats. Don't forget if she's not ready to go now she can always join you at a later stage.

    Its a tough one but its got to be done. Don't forget that the clock is ticking for girls when you get to our age and its unfair on them if you draw out a relationship and realise that you don't want to be with them.

    Best of luck and I hope everything works out for you.....See you in South America. I'll have a pint of Guinness waiting for you in Rio......And we'll get hammered!!!!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 468 ✭✭snowy2008


    Hi guys,

    I am 29. And I am very confused about what to do with my life. I am in a long term relationship and now my girlfriend wants to settle down and buy a house and in a few yrs to start a family.
    Then I have a well paid and pretty secure job. However, I do not enjoy it and I absolutely hate those monday mornings. And cannot wait for the weekend. Is that the way to live life??
    I was recently away on a lads holiday for the first time ever and I loved it. Was brilliant. Enjoyed being free and single, going on the piss, not thinking about work, and having fun with my best mates.
    Now that I'm back home, I feel depressed and getting p1ssed at my girlfriend at trivial things and just not wanting to be here really. I would just love to be away in a different country with proper weather. And I feel annoyed and fed up with Irish people in general. Why? Cos a lot come across as 2 faced.

    So where do I go? Do I drop everything and just fck off? A member of my family died suddenly recently so I would only upset my family more and would feel selfish. Which maybe I am.
    And then my girlfriend. Who has always been there for me. Do I just turn around and treat her like sh1t and say im off?

    Any advice appreciated. And would love to hear from people who have felt like this in the past.

    I think thats where the frustration is coming from, when my dad died i just wanted to run away from everyone and everything and just be left to do my own thing, have you thought about seeing a counsellor? Ive been to one and alot is now in perspective, a priest told me recently dont worry if you dont have a plan, god does so just sit back and relax, whats meant to be will be


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    teresa2008 wrote: »
    I think thats where the frustration is coming from, when my dad died i just wanted to run away from everyone and everything and just be left to do my own thing, have you thought about seeing a counsellor? Ive been to one and alot is now in perspective, a priest told me recently dont worry if you dont have a plan, god does so just sit back and relax, whats meant to be will be

    that's all well and good for those who believe in God, what about those who don't...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 468 ✭✭snowy2008


    well thats another story for another time, just trying to word of comfort to the OP


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    julien69
    Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
    Do take time to read the charter which contains the rulesand abide by them.
    Have a nice day.
    Thaedydal


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thats not a crossroads, its a T-Junction :)

    Dont stress, let your heart guide you.


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