Should I tell her I am a virgin?

LegacyUser

I have a date tomorrow night. I know this girl likes me and I like her. The thing is though I am a 28 year old virgin! I am afraid that I will be as nervous as hell if we get down to business. If I told her it would make things easier? Or should I keep it to myself? Advice appreciated. Thanks.

HouseHippo

Keep it to yourself unless you are positive you are going to get down to it and you feel its important she know. Don't just come out with it or she will think you are expecting something!

LauraLoo

hiya,

maybe wait until you get to know each other enough so you know if/when you get to the stage of sleeping together you can then discuss it with her. i wouldnt mention it on the first date simply because on most first dates you dont tend to discuss sex- sex comes naturaly as your attraction progresses. Dont hold off on being passionate with her (i.e. a good kiss and fondle) for fear that it will lead to an unprepared sex- just let it go with the flow.

I would let her know in advance though, she might appreciate sharing your first time with you- dont pretend you know more than you do... id say maybe wait until you're at the "there's something you should know" stage

Also, whether or not either/both partner's are a virgin; when two people start sleeping together they are equally in the dark as to what the other likes/dislikes.

Catari Jaguar

Keep it to yourself. Just play it cool, and be confident. If the sex happens tonight, it'll just come naturally to you. First time sex with a new partner isn't usually spectacular because you don't know each others bodies yet or what turns them on... It gets better with practice. I bet she won't even be able to tell.

You can tell her after the deed if you like... She'll probably feel special.

petes

First things first. Don't be thinking just because you are going on a date you might get some action. That will make you more nervous about it.

LegacyUser

This is a first date but i met her on a night out last week. She invited me up to her flat after i walked her home but I declined the offer. I wasn't ready. Am I right to asume she was up for it then?

Victor

thread starter wrote: »

I wasn't ready.

No harm in admitting that.

Am I right to asume she was up for it then?

Coffee, sure. Sex, who knows.

petethebrick

Don't tell her. Just act naturally and get whatever tips you can off your mates and such. If it's not great the first time then don't worry, it's often not when you meet somebody new. You'll be banging her like an old pro in no time.
Good luck!

Adamisconfused

It’s already been said. No; don’t tell her.
Mentioning you’re virginity is a little presumptuous. The only reason you would be saying it is because you believe you’ll be losing it to her.

CDfm

Its just a date and you should look at it like that.

If the situation ends up that you find yourself naked in bed with her then you might say that you are not very experienced.

Thats a bit a way and you should not worry.

LegacyUser

yeah don't go volunteering this by blurting it out over dinner - haha!

if you find yourself getting undressed then might be the time - and maybe just saying not very experienced is better.

i dunno, my first time.....i had been very dissapointed about not getting with some girl i was crazy into. was in bar with friends one night and had a total personality change. got chatting to this girl and from out of nowhere had super confidence. let on like i was a major stud and great in bed. she was for some reason convinced and came back to my place and we did the deed. of course i had NO idea what I was doing and she ended up quite dissappointed. i never told her it was my first time. in retrospect i kind of wish when we did get back to the house i had said something.

anyhow i was really stupid. and even thou she was really into me i didn't want to keep seeing her cos i was still into the other one. this was also a big mistake cos in retrosepct i came to realise a) she was a much nicer person b) she was hotter and c) with more experience i came to realise she was actually quite and good in bed and sexually open and had i stayed with her i would probably have had a good relaitonship with lots of great sex. Met her on the street by accident years later (on a weird day where i bumped into 5 ex's on the street in the space of 1 hour - i **** you not - i didn't know what was going on). anyhow she was like not pleased to see me. A pity i was so stupid and let a nice girl slip thru my fingers. of course now i'm older and still stupid and still letting the nice girls slip thru my fingers.......but at least i can recognise which onces are th enice ones now.



anyhow....i went way off topic maybe. anyhow. don't sweat it. enjoy the date for what it is and don't let this distract you. if i happens it happens. if it takes alittle more time then well and good. maybe thats better in fact. but either way enjoy time with good company -thats more important in the end.



....jesus when did i get so old ?

LegacyUser

Thanks very much guys for all the great advice. I think I will go with the general concensous. I don't mean to be persumptious about getting sex by the way; it is just that I have not been in a relationship before (this is all very hard to admit to) so this is all new to me. Any way thanks again.