Friends think I'm crazy letting my bf go to a strip club

useful_contacts

I am 23- my partners 27.Ive been with him nearly 6 years, had a good few relationships before him but they were all crappy ones ( you know the "im 15 and i love you crap")

i trust him 100% and he does me. hes headn off to amsterdam soon, and is going to strip clubs which i dont mind, i told him "off ya go enjoy" .

Now my friends are going M A D - saying im "letting him off free to shag other girls

(which im not - im just letting him go to a strip club- i mean why not i see no harm in it, im a bi women and if i was going on the trip id go to strip clubs too)They think that letting him go to a strip club that he will think its ok to shag other girls

The girls keep saying im in denial that my relationships perfect and that in letting him go to a strip club im admitting that my relationships "perfect" I dont think my relationships perfect i just know that i shouldnt deny my fella a good time when hes not hurting anyone

Does anyone else agree with them?
PS- my mates all said they would dump their bf if they went to a strip club

Jesus Wept

Are you in denial about what?

Moomoo1

about the relationship being perfect presumably?

I really don't think you should listen to other girls - they might even be jealous for all you know ;-). If you have a problem with him going to a strip club then you should object, if not, no.

From what I've heard you don't get to sh*g anyone there anyway (not unless the strippers are male ).

Tar.Aldarion

No, I consider you a good and trusting girlfriend. Not 'allowing' him to go to a strip club with his mates would not stop him cheating on you or whatever they are on about, if he wanted. Doesn't sound like he does. He's just going to have a drink and have fun with his friends. If he loves you as you say, you have nothing to worry about, and are quite good in trusting him.

Would your friends dump their boyfrinds for looking at somebody in the street, for looking at porn? What are they on about this 'perfect' crap for, I don't even understand them, or their view. You don't have a problem with him going, you are in a trusting relationship, that is what matters, screw them. :-p

useful_contacts

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

No, I consider you a good and trusting girlfriend. Not 'allowing' him to go to a strip club with his mates would not stop him cheating on you or whatever they are on about, if he wanted. Doesn't sound like he does. He's just going to have a drink and have fun with his friends. If he loves you as you say, you have nothing to worry about, and are quite good in trusting him.

The way i view my relationship is "I wouldnt stop him doing anything that i would do"

So let him off- hes happy- im happy.He actual;ly asked me would it be ok if he went to strip clubs over there and i started laughing, i couldnt believe he asked me that. My sister says the fact my friends think im mad letting him go means they are insecure in their relationships

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Would your friends dump their boyfrinds for looking at somebody in the street, for looking at porn?

Funny you should say that cos (as a bi woman i do check out gals) and if i see a hot one i say 2 my fella"look at her shes gorge isint she" and my friends are like "ah dont point her out to him!!! They get fair offended. We both watch porn, and 2 of my friends dumped men for having a porn collection

Is it just a case that im more sexually open than them?

Tar.Aldarion

Exactly you shouldn't stop him doing what you would do. You don't care if he goes and that's all that matters. He asked you even, jeez! I think your friends have issues in my opinion, dumping people for porn good luck finding a man. I think they are more insecure with their men than you, more insecure with sexuality. It's nice that you can help your man spot women, I'd love to have that with a gal someday, haha.

Jafin

Ignore your friends, just because hes gonna go to a strip club doesnt mean hes gonna go off and shag someone else! You trust and love each other, thats all you need to know hes not going to do anything.

useful_contacts

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Exactly you shouldn't stop him doing what you would do. You don't care if he goes and that's all that matters. He asked you even, jeez! I think your friends have issues in my opinion, dumping people for porn good luck finding a man. I think they are more insecure with their men than you, more insecure with sexuality. It's nice that you can help your man spot women, I'd love to have that with a gal someday, haha.

wel i appriciate beauty and i like to share it with him, normally he goes "ya shes hot but shes nothing compared to you" and i laugh, and my friends are like "ah hes only saying that he will try to chat her up later"(they say this in fronta him)

Me and my fella are v open- he spots hot girls too and shows them to me, and my friends think im only "going along with it for him".

I mean jesus-id say something if we had the same taste but my guy doesnt fancy short haired gals, where as i appriciate their bone structure and think they can be v sexy. So sometimes id spot a gal and hed say "God no shes horrible"

Whats annoying me is some of these friends of mine shag guys who look like donkeys- and then eat me for allowing my partner to enjoy other women while in a relationship.

if my fella tried to stop me going to a strip club hed be missing a pair of testicles, so i wouldnt be a hypricote and stop him appricating sexy women. Id rather him enjoy it than resent me for not letting him do it and eventally have an affair. ya know?

LegacyUser

I think its great that you are comfortable to let him go to stripclubs - if it works of you and causes no problems then why the hell not?!?! personally (nearly 6yrs with OH, im 23 he is 28) I would not be comfortable with my OH going to strip clubs - people may say its coz im insecure, but I dont really mind him watching porn or checking out other girls every now and then. I just wouldn't be comfortable with him getting sexually excited over another woman in the flesh (and before anyone says it - yes it is different to porn), when he has me at home - why lust to such a degree over other women. but like I said - each to their own - if one of my friends was happy to let her bf off to a strip club I wouldn't give a damn- its none of my business! ignore your friends - be happy in the nice trusting relationship you and you bf have!!!

LegacyUser

useful_contacts wrote: »

I am 23- my partners 27.Ive been with him nearly 6 years, had a good few relationships before him but they were all crappy ones ( you know the "im 15 and i love you crap")

i trust him 100% and he does me. hes headn off to amsterdam soon, and is going to strip clubs which i dont mind, i told him "off ya go enjoy" .

Now my friends are going M A D - saying im "letting him off free to shag other girls

(which im not - im just letting him go to a strip club- i mean why not i see no harm in it, im a bi women and if i was going on the trip id go to strip clubs too)They think that letting him go to a strip club that he will think its ok to shag other girls

The girls keep saying im in denial that my relationships perfect and that in letting him go to a strip club im admitting that my relationships "perfect" I dont think my relationships perfect i just know that i shouldnt deny my fella a good time when hes not hurting anyone

Does anyone else agree with them?
PS- my mates all said they would dump their bf if they went to a strip club

Ok not only are you totally right, but you are also the coolest girl i have ever heard of, You friends are only jealous that you are so nonchalant about it. If this does end up ruining the relationship you should call me

The Sweeper

To be honest it sounds like your friends are jealous of your relationship. I'd be wary of them and their own agendas.

jen_23

It sounds to me you have a happy, honest relationship and your friends are jealous.

useful_contacts wrote: »

Now my friends are going M A D - saying im "letting him off free to shag other girls

The girls keep saying im in denial

useful_contacts wrote: »

Whats annoying me is some of these friends of mine shag guys who look like donkeys- and then eat me for allowing my partner to enjoy other women while in a relationship.

It seems they keep trying to make you insecure about your relationship. i wouldn't let them OP . Just tell them your happy and they should be happy for you and your not listening to anything negative they have to say anymore.

I went to amsterdam with my Oh 1 year ago and I went into a live sex show with him (it was great craic) - and if I hadn't been there and he had been with a bunch of his friends I still wouldn't have minded if he went in (maybe slightly jealous I was missing the fun - lol).

Auldloon

My ex had no problems with me going to strip clubs or even knocking shops as she knew I would never cheat on her. I worked abroad a lot at the time and strip clubs were a part of the regular work nights out. The knocking shops btw would have involved me sitting in reception/bar waiting on others while they had their jollies lol.
My current does not want me to go to strip clubs so I havent and wont unless she is cool with it.
No big deal either way.

Terodil

Some relationships are more open than others. The important thing is that you and your bf are absolutely clear about what you want or do not want from each other (and I think that is the case), then off you go. Who cares about what others think... I'd just ignore your friends tbh... I'd give them a good talking to too for slagging you/your bf off like that.

(even if I wouldn't like such a relationship myself, but again, your cup of tea and nobody else's)

shellyboo

useful_contacts wrote: »

The way i view my relationship is "I wouldnt stop him doing anything that i would do"

So let him off- hes happy- im happy.He actual;ly asked me would it be ok if he went to strip clubs over there and i started laughing, i couldnt believe he asked me that. My sister says the fact my friends think im mad letting him go means they are insecure in their relationships



Funny you should say that cos (as a bi woman i do check out gals) and if i see a hot one i say 2 my fella"look at her shes gorge isint she" and my friends are like "ah dont point her out to him!!! They get fair offended. We both watch porn, and 2 of my friends dumped men for having a porn collection

Is it just a case that im more sexually open than them?

Your friends are jealous, insecure wagons who have no idea how to be with or hang onto a man.

You're more sexually open than them, you're more mature than them, you're streets ahead of them in the relationship stakes. Do not listen to a word they have to say. Their behaviour - controlling, insecure, jealous - will drive men away quicker than ten visits to a strip club or a lifetime of watching porn.


Keep going with your gut and stop listening to your friends, they're clueless.

Oh The Humanity

They are definitely jealous. Don't mind them.

The_Conductor

A strip club is a strip club- nothing more, nothing less. Sure- Amsterdam has a reputation- and it does have a rather famous red light district. It also has many strip clubs- which are simply that. Fair play for trusting your boyfriend, I hope he doesn't abuse your trust.

tman

useful_contacts wrote: »

My sister says the fact my friends think im mad letting him go means they are insecure in their relationships

Sounds exactly right to me...
Fair play to you for having such an open and trusting relationship with your boyfriend... Your friends boyfriends would most likely do this kind of stuff behind their backs and not tell them about it. I think its great that your boyfriend can come forward and run this by you before he goes and does it, and so should you.
Your friends are fools imho

trowelled

Pay no attention to what they're saying. I'd say your sister is spot on when she says that they're insecure in their relationships.

If you're comfortable with it then to hell with what they think. I don't see it as being such a big issue. I'd have no issue with a guy I was with going to a strip club.

As for your friends who dumped guys because of their porn collection, well that's just ridiculous imo. Don't get that at all

meglome

smccarrick wrote: »

A strip club is a strip club- nothing more, nothing less. Sure- Amsterdam has a reputation- and it does have a rather famous red light district. It also has many strip clubs- which are simply that. Fair play for trusting your boyfriend, I hope he doesn't abuse your trust.

Agree

Obviously Amsterdam has other temptations but if he's an honest guy I wouldn't worry about it. I personally hate strip clubs, they are usually dirty sleazy kips that I can't wait to be out of. No idea why your friends would be so excitable about it though.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Slap your friends hard... really hard...

Seriously, what business is it of theirs? I hate this kind b!tchiness.


I think it's great that you trust your boyfriend and that you are not jealous of him going to stripclubs. It's a bit sad that your friends are that insecure though.

Keep your man on a leash and he will wander further.

Catari Jaguar

useful_contacts wrote: »

I am 23- my partners 27.Ive been with him nearly 6 years, had a good few relationships before him but they were all crappy ones ( you know the "im 15 and i love you crap")

i trust him 100% and he does me. hes headn off to amsterdam soon, and is going to strip clubs which i dont mind, i told him "off ya go enjoy" .

Now my friends are going M A D - saying im "letting him off free to shag other girls

(which im not - im just letting him go to a strip club- i mean why not i see no harm in it, im a bi women and if i was going on the trip id go to strip clubs too)They think that letting him go to a strip club that he will think its ok to shag other girls

The girls keep saying im in denial that my relationships perfect and that in letting him go to a strip club im admitting that my relationships "perfect" I dont think my relationships perfect i just know that i shouldnt deny my fella a good time when hes not hurting anyone

Does anyone else agree with them?
PS- my mates all said they would dump their bf if they went to a strip club

I 100% agree with you and would say the same to my boyf. Granted, my boyf isn't the type of fella to shag strippers or hookers... Not all men are.

You know your boyf better than your friends do. They seem pretty closed minded, and basically just drama queens. Why go out with someone if you don't trust them and just want to control them?? Ick.. I hate women like that.

More power to you. You seem like a cool girlfriend! If he enjoys it you should def go over with him next time to experience it as a couple.

davmol

Chuileog wrote: »

My ex had no problems with me going to strip clubs or even knocking shops as she knew I would never cheat on her. I worked abroad a lot at the time and strip clubs were a part of the regular work nights out. The knocking shops btw would have involved me sitting in reception/bar waiting on others while they had their jollies lol.
My current does not want me to go to strip clubs so I havent and wont unless she is cool with it.
No big deal either way.

If I send you my CV could you pass it on to your HR department please?!!!

OP me and my friends have been to strip clubs and all it is is lads out getting a lap dance,if at all and having a bit of craic.None of us have ever taken it any further than a dance and a laugh ,besides teh prices they charge to go further you could buy a small car with........so ive been 'told' by one of chuileog's work mates:D

Darthhoob

i wouldn't give a hoot if my BF went to a stripclub either i think thats just trust and realising a relationship is not 'trapping a man'. your friends seem like jealous idiots imo hun, if you see no problem with it then there is no problem with it

blimy i wouldn't want to be in a 'relationship' with one of your friends...talk about ball and chain lol

Dragan

It should be noted you have allowed your boyfriend a great favour here, not the strip club thing, any besotted blokes knows there is nothing better than your chick in your biggest t-shirt....you stopped him being the odd one out, and now someone else will end up being the butt of all jokes for the holiday.

I would say he owes you major for that.

As for your mates, they just sound a bit insecure is all.

helimachoptor

I've never been to a strip club, though I've had several opportunities, I'm nto that interested tbh.. actually my GF said she'd bring me for my birthday.

Honestly OP your not crazy, he's not gonna end up in some orgy so dont worry!

Crash Bang Wall

I have not read any of your replies but all I can say is:

If you trust him then there is no problem. No trust, no relationship, simple as.

Secondly, I can almost guarantee a lot of your mates fellas have been to strip clubs or lap dancing clubs, but have said nothing.

Let him enjoy his w/e and you enjoy yours, and let your mates worry about their guys

Icdb

all this talk of letting someone do this and letting someone do that... sounds a bit controlling... if i'm in a relationship and want to do something.. i do it.. I shouldn't have to ask for permision from anyone... being an adult and all... and this Bi stuff... so it's ok for you to like other girls... but not for him to like other girls too? sounds a bit sexist to me..

useful_contacts

Icdb wrote: »

all this talk of letting someone do this and letting someone do that... sounds a bit controlling... if i'm in a relationship and want to do something.. i do it.. I shouldn't have to ask for permision from anyone... being an adult and all... and this Bi stuff... so it's ok for you to like other girls... but not for him to like other girls too? sounds a bit sexist to me..

HUH? did you even read any of my other posts on this. I point out good looking girls to him sure , if i didnt want him to like other girls id be trying to block his view not pointing them out!

Icdb

useful_contacts wrote: »

HUH? did you even read any of my other posts on this. I point out good looking girls to him sure , if i didnt want him to like other girls id be trying to block his view not pointing them out!

sorry misread the looking at other girls bit... the rest of it though i standby...

Darthhoob

how does she seem controlling? she seems the total opposite IMO.

HE asked her for permission to go, he obviously felt comfortable enough with her and their relationship to ask. she gave him the permission he ASKED for...that is why she is saying she let him go. :rolleyes: