I think I am sabotaging myself.

Astrogeek

When my OH broke up with me I decided I would really concentrate on taking care of myself, mostly as a distraction so I wouldn't think about him so much. So I started with exercising and trying to eat right.
Every logical body in my body knows that he did not end it because I'm a bit whobby. I know he will not just get back with me because I am more toned. I know this, but I can't help believe that maybe he'll see me, fitter and more toned and want me back. No amount of logic can convince me that it's not true.
Every time I exercise I sabotage it with eating crap. Which is so nuts because I was always good at eating well and lazy when it came to exercise. Now I'm exercising properly, gym every second day and weights every other day. I'm terrived of actually getting the body I want and him not taking me back and actually having to face the fact that I already knew that wasn't going to happen.

I'm so messed up right now.

Why can't I see sense?

Rebelheart

Astrogeek wrote: »

When my OH broke up with me I decided I would really concentrate on taking care of myself, mostly as a distraction so I wouldn't think about him so much. So I started with exercising and trying to eat right.
Every logical body in my body knows that he did not end it because I'm a bit whobby. I know he will not just get back with me because I am more toned. I know this, but I can't help believe that maybe he'll see me, fitter and more toned and want me back. No amount of logic can convince me that it's not true.
Every time I exercise I sabotage it with eating crap. Which is so nuts because I was always good at eating well and lazy when it came to exercise. Now I'm exercising properly, gym every second day and weights every other day. I'm terrived of actually getting the body I want and him not taking me back and actually having to face the fact that I already knew that wasn't going to happen.

I'm so messed up right now.

Why can't I see sense?

Ara you'll be grand. I started off similarly years ago running really out of anger but also out of a notion that I might let my ex know what she missed etc. Anyway, to cut a long story short by the time I was in tip-top shape my life had moved on, I had a new confidence, new interests and was a much stronger fella.

I think, however, it would be a good idea to get a spiritual outlet at this time, whether that is going to some institutional religion, mountain climbing, hill walking or swimming. I dropped into my local church every night on my way back from the run and just sat there quietly on my own in the church at night and said a few words and really just sat there looking for strength I think. I also got into classical music for the first time in my life and that was deeply consoling and enriching: I wanted more from life. I also went hill walking regularly and just sat by the sea. Little things I'd never done and therefore never appreciated. Every day I tried to do something new, discover something different.

This could be the richest and most rewarding time of your like. I wouldn't worry about your ex; this is your time to shine. The more you shine the more he'll fade into the past. Go for it.

PS: Stay well away from astrologers. Nobody needs false hope that badly. We all deserve much better.

Astrogeek

PS: Stay well away from astrologers. Nobody needs false hope that badly. We all deserve much better.

lol! Random.

I've never been very religious. The hill walking I like and I do when it isn't raining, everything just feels so positive while exercising. It's like I'm turning schizophrenic, so motivated one minute to exercise and then look in the mirror, feel slimmer then feel really nervous and eat stale kitkats (they aren't nice at all) and feel better. And then feel stupid for being nuts.

I don't really know what to do.

jumpguy

Okay now I'm no biology buff but you're percieved overeating could be a result of your increased exercise. Put simply, more energy out, more energy needed in. However, if you are meerly comfort eating then it is probably down to stress. My advice for that is don't worry, it'll pass, like anything life has it's ups and downs, every night ends with a dawn.

Astrogeek

Quite glad neither of ye seem to think I'm losing my mind I'll try not to think about it so much.

Rej

What time does your gym close at? if u find you are comfort eating late in the evenings, then just go to the gym late. added bonus of having less posers in there then too

Also, if you dont buy it you cant eat it... so stock up on low calorie stuff you can pig out on without the guilt.

DonkeyStyle \o/

jumpguy wrote: »

Okay now I'm no biology buff but you're percieved overeating could be a result of your increased exercise.

This was my first thought too, some change in your metabolism. I think it's worth investigating.

It sounds as though you've found a good way to be powerless over this eating, chalking it up to self-sabotage and elusive emotions. If the cause is something beyond your control, then it's not your fault, you get off guilt-free, and that works... but the flip-side is that you become a victim to it... soul-searching for answers to the wrong questions, coming up with no answers and gradually feeling more and more defeated and helpless.

Maybe there is some psychology behind the eating, I wouldn't know... but be careful about what psychological boogie-men you wish for.
Remember you control what you eat and you have the power to say 'no'. Come up with something more positive to get you through it, maybe have a picture of some celebrity who has the figure you want and focus on how much you want it, and what you'll do to get it.

Talk to other fitness people and see if they experience it and how they handle things.

Astrogeek

Yeah that went through my mind too, it's exactly what I would say if someone told me what I just said... But I've never had any sort of problem with my weight, like I only weigh 62kg and I'm a size 8.
I hadn't really thought about the metabolism thing, I shall try only pigging out on healthy things and see if I can figure out how much food I need now etc.

Rebelheart

Astrogeek wrote: »

lol! Random.

I've never been very religious. The hill walking I like and I do when it isn't raining, everything just feels so positive while exercising. It's like I'm turning schizophrenic, so motivated one minute to exercise and then look in the mirror, feel slimmer then feel really nervous and eat stale kitkats (they aren't nice at all) and feel better. And then feel stupid for being nuts.

I don't really know what to do.

hehe Astro, the astrology comment was inspired by your nick, Astrogeek. Back in the day I used to be reading my horoscopes on Excite (does anybody remember it?) and everywhere else all the time - the more desperate I became the more I read them. Anyway, you'll find that people tend to dish out money to those people when they feel more despair. My bird and mise went to an astrologer the other week - feck, it's the one in George's Arcade! - as the bird said she was brilliant. I handed over my €30 and she told me precisely what she had told my bird: complete chancer. A rogue of the highest order.

Anyway, as you've clarified that's neither here nor there.

Perhaps you just require a change of mind after exercising? Maybe you think you can *afford* to gobble all those yuckie brown KitKats simply because you have exercised so vigorously? You actually can't. You really can't afford to eat crap until you reach your goals (you have goals, I presume?). Maybe you just have to realise that you do not deserve treats for the time being. Are you even exercising just to justify horsing all that junk food into you afterwards?

How about breaking your diet/exercise up and allowing yourself to pig-out at the end of each month, for example, rather than each time after you exercise?

I'm not religious either, but I am spiritual. Spirituality gives strength, and when you are working hard and denying yourself so many pleasures developing your own spirituality is really really rewarding and comforting. Personally, I found great strength in peace, reflection, fresh air, walking and so forth when I went mad into losing weight/denying myself. So basically don't be rewarding yourself yet, just suffer a bit and imagine how soft on the eye you'll be when you've reached your idealised picture in your head (you have one, right?). Believe me, self denial is a very very - immensely - spiritual thing in life if you have the right attitude.

Go n-éirí an t-ádh leat!

Liam Byrne

Do it for yourself, rather than for him.

all_smilz

Rebelheart wrote: »

hehe Astro, the astrology comment was inspired by your nick, Astrogeek. Back in the day I used to be reading my horoscopes on Excite (does anybody remember it?) and everywhere else all the time - the more desperate I became the more I read them. Anyway, you'll find that people tend to dish out money to those people when they feel more despair. My bird and mise went to an astrologer the other week - feck, it's the one in George's Arcade! - as the bird said she was brilliant. I handed over my €30 and she told me precisely what she had told my bird: complete chancer. A rogue of the highest order.

Does ur bird know u call her THAT?:rolleyes:

Astrogeek I know what you mean.....

I am with a LOVELY fella now and trying to lose weight BUT i often think how i would LOVE for some of my ex's to see me (i've lost 4.5 stone this year but LOADS more work to do)....

I dont want my ex's back but i would like to see them think "wow".......
good luck hun!

Astrogeek

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Do it for yourself, rather than for him.

So much easier said than done. I tell myself I'm doing it for me, but I know I'm not... Did so much better today than yesterday, only snacking on fruit. Thanks everybody maybe I just needed a vent to see sense