Life Problem

LegacyUser

I am a 20-year-old genuine nice male. My life has been bugging me a bit lately. I have always wanted to date girls and in the future get married and have kids, but unfortunately girls sexually do nothing for me. Its men that turn me on sexually. I would love even to give it a go with a girl for a while but even while looking at a room of girls, none do anything for me. I am sad that im gay as my heart is telling me one thing and my head is telling me the other.

Its difficult going out with friends and trying to hide the fact that you like guys. Feel loveless future is ahead of me where im single and all my friends in loving relationships.

Anybody understand?

kisaragi

Hey there,

I'm also a 20 year old gay guy, and there's no reason AT ALL why you should have a loveless future. You might have the idea now that you'd like to date girls and get married and have kids, but you should know that wouldn't make you happy. Why not date a guy, get married, and have kids? So it's not possible right now in ireland, but it is in many countries and hopefully will be in a few years here too.

I know it can be difficult to accept your sexuality, especially when since you were born you've grown up with everyone expecting you to live a straight life, but the only thing to do is to accept who you are Trust me, when you come to terms with your sexuality you'll understand that there's no reason you can't be happy being gay, and live whatever kind of life you desire!

Varkov

Just try it with a girl, you may like it.

Dont just listen to the gays, they like to try and recruit as many confused young men as they can. Nothing wrong with it, theyr'e just very quick to go, "Oh yeah, embrace it" If you want a truly normal life just give it a go with a girl.

rainbow kirby

Go with the flow... but if you really don't have any attraction to girls don't try and fake it. You're only lying to yourself and hurting both yourself and any girl you end up with.

sparkydee

You will have to follow your own feelings on this. Try not to upset yourself too much on this. You will work it out for yourself in your own time. I know it's easy for me to say that but things have a habit of working out themselves.

The Recliner

Varkov wrote: »

Just try it with a girl, you may like it.

Dont just listen to the gays, they like to try and recruit as many confused young men as they can. Nothing wrong with it, theyr'e just very quick to go, "Oh yeah, embrace it" If you want a truly normal life just give it a go with a girl.

Just because something is the accepted norm in society does not meanit is right for the op

we are not here to judge the OP

OP if you don't fancy girls then there is no reason why you can't have a happy fulfilling relationship with a man

Monkey61

Varkov wrote: »

Just try it with a girl, you may like it.

Dont just listen to the gays, they like to try and recruit as many confused young men as they can. Nothing wrong with it, theyr'e just very quick to go, "Oh yeah, embrace it" If you want a truly normal life just give it a go with a girl.

Absolute rubbish. And stating that "a truly normal life" is only possible through a heterosexual relationship is beyond offensive and not very helpful to the OP.

Op you can have the life you want with a man. Nothing is stopping you. Embracing your sexuality and accepting yourself is difficult, it can be agonising at times but is entirely worth it once you get there. You can have the children, the marriage and everything that goes with that as a gay male.

You could of course experiment with women if you need to be sure, but why not experiment with men and see how you feel about it then. If you are gay chances are that as soon as you meet a guy that you like and experience the fulfillment of being with somebody who really turns you on and makes you happy then you will know that you won't want to go back and can focus on working towards the future that you actually want!

Just to add that when I was your age I felt exactly the same desire to be just like everybody else. I thought that being gay meant that I was never going to be in a long term relationship and never going to be happy. But that all changed when I fell in love. I was still very uncomfortable about my sexuality though and it is only over the last few months (I am 26 now) in which I have met so many others in the same position as me that I have started to feel totally comfortable with myself.

RossFixxxed

Varkov wrote: »

Just try it with a girl, you may like it.

Dont just listen to the gays, they like to try and recruit as many confused young men as they can. Nothing wrong with it, theyr'e just very quick to go, "Oh yeah, embrace it" If you want a truly normal life just give it a go with a girl.

Are you serious? Is this the 1800s again? This is just ridiculous. Did you know you can actually catch gay if you type the word? Or if you touch a gay person? Jesus.

Look he is ATTRACTED SEXUALLY to men. Why would he force himself to be with a woman? Would you force yourself to be with a man just because someone thought it was 'better' for you? He needs to follow his heart (and loins a bit too ) anything else is a lie, and very unfair on the woman. It takes years but a lot of people who are trying to force change their sexuality are going to crack.

And before you label me some kind of gay recruitment specialist, I'm straight. And you post is frankly idiotic. Grow up.

R

digital_d

Varkov wrote: »

Just try it with a girl, you may like it.

Dont just listen to the gays, they like to try and recruit as many confused young men as they can. Nothing wrong with it, theyr'e just very quick to go, "Oh yeah, embrace it" If you want a truly normal life just give it a go with a girl.

This is the biggest load of rubbish I've read in a long time! The OP has said that women do not turn him on, that men do - True he may "like" it with a girl, but long term I dobut he and the girl woill continue to "like" a relationship that is built on him being sexually attracted to men. I'm sure not that may of the ladies on this forum would "like" to be with a man who is not attracted to them but to men.

And - speaking on behalf of the "gays" as you so nicley discribed us, no, we do not "recruit confused young men", there woul be little beneift from such "recruitment".

As most of us can identify with how this lad feels and most of us had to deal with this situation at some stage in our past - we "gays" are happy to support anyone who is confused about how to deal with thier sexual preferences, and help them overcome dealing with the sad, intollernt, miguided views that some people still have that to be gay is a bad thing. (people who i'm sure agree with the quoted post) so that they can live a "truly Normal life" you know one where you find someone that you are attracted to, and if your lucky find yourself in a loving realtionship with someone your attracted to where you both contribute to each others lives, and those of the poeple around you

To the OP, you can't help who you are attracted to, and being attrached to guys, just makes you different to straight people, it dosn't need to affect how you live your life, or your plans for the future. If you know in your heart that you are only attracted to men it's probably better that you try to come to terms with that. don't be put off by the sterotypical gay image - there are lots of gay lifestyles out there in Ireland, and long term gay couples that have abopted/surrogate childern, and have a legally recognised realtionship do exist out there!

Good luck - It's tough, but sometimes life just throws us a curved ball that sometimes catches us off guard.

D

meglome

Varkov wrote: »

Just try it with a girl, you may like it.

Dont just listen to the gays, they like to try and recruit as many confused young men as they can. Nothing wrong with it, theyr'e just very quick to go, "Oh yeah, embrace it" If you want a truly normal life just give it a go with a girl.

Holy **** that's some crap, worst advice I've heard in a while. A friend of mine tried this and it failed spectacularly, he also wasted years doing it for no satisfaction or happiness. Go with how you actually feel, don't try and force anything.

Oh and I'm not gay it's just common sense.

Oh The Humanity

Hi OP,

Don't deny who you are.

It is morally wrong for a gay man to marry a woman in order to cover up his sexuality so do not do that. It is extrememly destructive to both parties in such a sham relationship. Do not go down that road.

There is no justification for such a deceit.

You are gay, you have only one life. Enjoy it and be who you are. Why would you force yourself to be with a sex that you do not fancy. That is nothing but punishment for you and for the woman.

Why don't you call a gay and lesbian helpline and get into the scene. There are thousands like you out there. There is no need to live a lie any more and deny yourself a good love life or children.

Gay marriage will come but if you meet someone sooner, go to Canada!

In the meantime, take control of your own life and in your own time come out. Some of your friends might baulk but frankly screw em! (hehehe;))