Anxiety Rules My Life

LegacyUser

Hi,

Basically anxiety dominates my life. I really have a low sense of self-worth over the way I look and because of this, how I project my personality is highly restricted. I come across as boring as well as unattractive so it really is ruining my life.

For example, I just finished University but I didn't do anywhere near as well as I could of. I was absolutely terrified of going to seminars or tutorials because I was afraid of embarassing myself in front of people. I just prefered lectures where you could sit away from people and not be asked questions. But my work suffered because tutorials were important in understanding the course and I rarely went due to previous bad experiences in them.

Anxiety dominates my personal life too. I went on a date recently and I just clammed up. I couldn't think of anything to say and just came across as slightly weird. Needless to say the girl went home straight after the film we saw.

Anyone know of good ways in fighting anxiety?

LegacyUser

you sound like me. i spend the whole of my college life totally afraid i would make a mistake, people wouldnt like me, constantly worrying about what people think of me. im still like that but not as severe. i went to counselling and that helped alot. i hate to hear someone that is going through what i went through as i know how horrible it is. go to a counsellor and i wish i could give you an email or something so you could ask me more questions, but shor ask away on this as we are both going unregistered.

Ashlinggnilsia

Ha hilarious im the same aswel thought twas just me!! Now there is three of us!!

Well first off re college you have to go to your lectures and seminars as you said yourself Anxiety rules your life, why? Because you are letting it! I am exactly like you but i do my best not to let it ruin my life!! Cos its very capable of it! When it comes to college just go and you will realise its not as bad as you think!! I used to hate going to one class cos i found out the leacturer asks people to ready the sheets out loud in front of people and there is no way i could do it because i get nervous and stutter and mix up my words, i dont have a stutter but i hate reading or speakin in public ontop of all this. Lecturer asked me to read, and i said i would prefer not to if that is ok and i was never asked to read again. so i didnt have to **** myself everytime i went to her class anymore. The only way you can stop it is by not letting yourself if you put yourself in the situations you will realise its not as bad as you think yeah you might be nervous for the first 10 or so minutes but you wil calm down and realise its fine. If you keep avoiding the situation it wins, its controlling you and effective you life and at the end of the day do you want to live like that f*uck no you dont, you want to be the person you were before all of this. I no its hard but im not going to sugar coat it, the only way to fix it is to face up to it. Two things i find hand are 1. A cold bottle of water and 2. Chewing gum (really minty stuff) normally when people get anxiety or pannicky they feel like they cant breathe, drinking water calms you down and cools you down and chewing gum the really minty stuff opens up your airways and you can feel yourself breathing which in turn calms you down because you realise everything is fine you can breathe.


Hope that helps....let me know what you think

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Unreg
you sound like me. i spend the whole of my college life totally afraid i would make a mistake, people wouldnt like me, constantly worrying about what people think of me. im still like that but not as severe. i went to counselling and that helped alot. i hate to hear someone that is going through what i went through as i know how horrible it is. go to a counsellor and i wish i could give you an email or something so you could ask me more questions, but shor ask away on this as we are both going unregistered.

How did the people in your life react to you going to counselling? I come from a male dominated background and I don't think I could handle the stigma connected to counselling.

Ashlinggnilsia wrote: »

Ha hilarious im the same aswel thought twas just me!! Now there is three of us!!

Well first off re college you have to go to your lectures and seminars as you said yourself Anxiety rules your life, why? Because you are letting it! I am exactly like you but i do my best not to let it ruin my life!! Cos its very capable of it! When it comes to college just go and you will realise its not as bad as you think!! I used to hate going to one class cos i found out the leacturer asks people to ready the sheets out loud in front of people and there is no way i could do it because i get nervous and stutter and mix up my words, i dont have a stutter but i hate reading or speakin in public ontop of all this. Lecturer asked me to read, and i said i would prefer not to if that is ok and i was never asked to read again. so i didnt have to **** myself everytime i went to her class anymore. The only way you can stop it is by not letting yourself if you put yourself in the situations you will realise its not as bad as you think yeah you might be nervous for the first 10 or so minutes but you wil calm down and realise its fine. If you keep avoiding the situation it wins, its controlling you and effective you life and at the end of the day do you want to live like that f*uck no you dont, you want to be the person you were before all of this. I no its hard but im not going to sugar coat it, the only way to fix it is to face up to it. Two things i find hand are 1. A cold bottle of water and 2. Chewing gum (really minty stuff) normally when people get anxiety or pannicky they feel like they cant breathe, drinking water calms you down and cools you down and chewing gum the really minty stuff opens up your airways and you can feel yourself breathing which in turn calms you down because you realise everything is fine you can breathe.


Hope that helps....let me know what you think

Hey thanks for the reply.

I know what you mean, and I did find that once you do it that it's not as bad as you make it out to be. For example I had to give a presentation last year in Uni and I was absolutely dreading it. But I ended up getting into my stride and I got a B for the presentation.

It's just this date I had brought back all my feelings of inadequacy.

Ashlinggnilsia

Anxiety wrote: »

How did the people in your life react to you going to counselling? I come from a male dominated background and I don't think I could handle the stigma connected to counselling.




Hey thanks for the reply.

I know what you mean, and I did find that once you do it that it's not as bad as you make it out to be. For example I had to give a presentation last year in Uni and I was absolutely dreading it. But I ended up getting into my stride and I got a B for the presentation.

It's just this date I had brought back all my feelings of inadequacy.

Re the date, sometimes that happens, my boyfriend isnt a nervous person but finds it hard to talk to new people, whereas he didnt have that problem with me because well apparently one of the reasons he liked me was because i talked like i was on speed or something, even though i have anxiety im a chatterbox, i wouldnt necessarily but your date down to anxiety well to be fair its not exactly a big shock you clammed up because it happens to everyone ... Go on a date with a mad girl and she will chat the head off you and you will forget about your nerves next time round!!

kerash

Hey:)
Anxiety is dominating your life and you need to find a way of dealing with it, you obviously are very capable as you have shown getting through presentations and the date and fair play to you.
I would strongly suggest you visit your GP for advice. The doc can advise on councelling/psychologist and it may be worth trying just to see if it works for you.
I hope things become easier and feel free to pm me if you'd like

Ashlinggnilsia

kerash wrote: »

Hey:)
Anxiety is dominating your life and you need to find a way of dealing with it, you obviously are very capable as you have shown getting through presentations and the date and fair play to you.
I would strongly suggest you visit your GP for advice. The doc can advise on councelling/psychologist and it may be worth trying just to see if it works for you.
I hope things become easier and feel free to pm me if you'd like

I concur

LegacyUser

i know there is nothing to be ashamed about going to counselling but when i went - i never told anyone where i was going. I just said i was going to visit a friend. You dont have to announce to everyone ' Im going to counselling now - see ya later' If it's easier for you just dont tell them where you are going. but if you dont want to lie then... just tell them. I know a great person in the midlands - i dont know where you are but she healped me alot.

Catari Jaguar

Hi OP,

It sounds like you have social phobia. I would advise you get some cognitive behaviour therapy.

Some advice for coping with general anxiety are as follows:

Calming techniques (deep breathing/ muscle relation)
Distraction techniques
Visualization - imagine putting your worries in a box
Graded exposure (step by step)
Problem solving (ribeye) - relax, identify the proble, brain storm possible solutions, evaluate options, yes to one, encourage yourself.

Best of luck