Thursday wedding

bridgeman

Hi just wondering what are the views on Thursday weddings . Told my parents about it and my mother hit the roof saying that a Saturday is best for everyone . Doesn't seem to matter what me and my fiance want and after all it is our day or are we been greedy not listening to them .

sweetie

I think that hotels etc are much more competitive now if the financial aspect is behind your choice. I've had two thursday weddings recently and my missus had difficulty getting the time off so it was a bit awkward. I'm sure your guests
will still want to come despite this.

seamus

In reality a midweek wedding requires someone to take two days off work - the day of the wedding and the day after. If money's tight or people are under pressure at work, this just won't be possible.

If people can't make it, they won't - people won't be cursing you for "making" them take two days off work, but at the same time there may be some people who have to go - close friends and family - who may not be able to afford it but have to go anyway. Maybe just factor that in.

bensoneb

The other posters are quite right in that people will have to take up to 2 days off work to attend your wedding. However if you still want to book it for a Thursday, it's YOUR decision, NOT your mother's. You need to explain this to her now as it'll only get worse if you don't.....

kayos

We booked a Thursday wedding for next year and have not had one complaint about it. In fact a lot of people are happy that they can make a long weekend out of it.

We booked the Thursday as the date is something special to us.

esharknz

bridgeman wrote: »

Hi just wondering what are the views on Thursday weddings . Told my parents about it and my mother hit the roof saying that a Saturday is best for everyone . Doesn't seem to matter what me and my fiance want and after all it is our day or are we been greedy not listening to them .

Ours will be on a Tuesday. We are a kiwi/irish couple, so you can imagine that nothing would suit everyone, and I was sick of death of hearing "x has children so you have to plan everything around them", or "y wouldn't mind doing an OE, so you need to have it there for them".

I really think your mother is being too harsh. I've of course been guilt tripped and made to feel like a heartless b**ch because I wasn't doing what other people thought I should do (and considering some of their later actions, they deserved no consideration whatsoever). It's not nice. We nearly ended up running away to get married and inviting noone because of the pressure.

In the end we just booked a day and sent invitations. It's up to the individuals whether they can come or not. I found once it was all set in stone people stopped moaning (as far as I was aware).

genie_us

kayos wrote: »

We booked a Thursday wedding for next year and have not had one complaint about it. In fact a lot of people are happy that they can make a long weekend out of it.

We booked the Thursday as the date is something special to us.

I take your point, however, I have been invited to a Thursday wedding in September (my cousin), but cannot get the Friday off work meaning that I'll have to leave early Thursday night. This doesn't mean though that I'll go to my cousin and complain to him about it!

I know how u feel about the certain date though, we did the same but luckily it falls on a Saturday next year so we're just lucky I guess!

sunnygirl

Hi OP

We booked our wedding 3 weeks ago, for a Thursday this October! - so it's short notice really for everyone, but no complaints received so far -people are just generally delighted we are getting married. Most people wont mind if you give them enough notice to arrange it (we were just lucky) but we totally understand if some people cant make it to the whole thing.
I will advise nipping it in the bud (accomadating parents wishes / opinions that is) - our plans have been challenged with 'advice' from both sets of parents, who had to be eventually reminded that they have had their big day already and that yes, it is our day - Let your mum have an issue with it being on a Thursday if she wants, I doubt it will prevent her from going to your wedding! People no matter how well-meaning, will always think they know best etc, you know how it is!

girl24

Midweek weddings generally don't suit people and to say no one complained doesn't mean anything, most people wouldn't complain to the bride and groom, they just won't go if its too much hassle and I would say you will get more rejections than you would of a weekend wedding. At the end of the day though, all the people that matter to you, your family and close friends will go whatever day it is on.

Ditavon

Midweek weddings are going to become more common place as more people are opting for civil cermonies, and registars work mon-fri.
I think thursday is fine. As long as you're happy with that date who cares!:o

kizzyr

A Thursday wedding wouldn't bother me as a guest. I'd be happy enough to take the Friday and have a nice long weekend. My boyfriend and I have been invited to a wedding in November and its on a Monday. That really bugs me, take Monday off work and Tuesday too but back to work on Wednesday..:(

sweetie

kizzyr wrote: »

A Thursday wedding wouldn't bother me as a guest. I'd be happy enough to take the Friday and have a nice long weekend. My boyfriend and I have been invited to a wedding in November and its on a Monday. That really bugs me, take Monday off work and Tuesday too but back to work on Wednesday..:(

ye still have 4 days in a row off work!

kayos

kizzyr wrote: »

A Thursday wedding wouldn't bother me as a guest. I'd be happy enough to take the Friday and have a nice long weekend. My boyfriend and I have been invited to a wedding in November and its on a Monday. That really bugs me, take Monday off work and Tuesday too but back to work on Wednesday..:(

We've a Monday wedding to go to next year as well, although that is the far side of the atlantic.

Clareman

As I've been told, those that matter won't mind, those that mind don't matter.

The 1 thing to remember is, when you tell anyone anything about your wedding, they are going to over-react, this is only the first time your mother is going to hit the roof, do you not realize that it's her day and you can't embarrass her in front of all her friends. In no particular order, the over reactions we've had from mothers

Getting married in August, too many people will be on holidays and it'll be too expensive.
Not having steak, people love a steak.
Having steak, it's never cooked right.
Not having monkfish, everyone loves it.
Not having salmon, it keeps everyone happy.
Having sea bass, how common.
The invites.
The time of the mass
The priest not going to the reception, who will say grace?
Renting suits, would you not buy a suit for everyone.
Not booking the second day in their local.
Not paying for everyone's hotel room.
Not supplying a bus for people not staying in the hotel.
Not having a free bar.

That's all I can think of now

Oooooh, forgot, not considering that her when picking out the bridesmaid's dresses.

Keep your family informed of your plans to get married, but don't tell them the details, it'll make your life a whole lot easier and less stressful (and it'll mean that you and your fiance won't be rowing much either)

sweetie

^- brilliant! another good one;

having a dj only, no band - what about the older people, they have to be entertained too

When my wife and I brought our parents to see the venue, we had booked and paid deposit for, their reaction was awful. Admittedly, there was some
work to be done to the house (Lisnavagh, Co. Carlow) and we would be having a marquee and needed good weather but my wife was nearly in tears
after it. Come the day, the house was fantastic, the marquee was lovely, the weather was gorgeous and the drink flowing so they were deighted with everything. Stick to your guns and it'll be all right on the night!

seamus

Clareman wrote: »

Keep your family informed of your plans to get married, but don't tell them the details, it'll make your life a whole lot easier and less stressful (and it'll mean that you and your fiance won't be rowing much either)

That goes for everyone's wedding.

Don't ask your family for their opinions. Do what you want to do and then tell your family what's happening. It saves a whole pile of hassle in the end.

Clareman

Ooooh, that's another 1, having a band that she doesn't know and a DJ, how do we know that they are able to play sets right? So I ask, "play sets? I've never danced a set in my life, I'm not paying someone to play something I hate, they'll play proper music", might not have been the best reaction I ever gave

Clareman

seamus wrote: »

That goes for everyone's wedding.

Don't ask your family for their opinions. Do what you want to do and then tell your family what's happening. It saves a whole pile of hassle in the end.

Agreed, if you ask them and then don't do it it's only "well why did you ask then?" if you do it all you get is "oh, I was killed with helping them out"

BTW, I may not be the best person to be going through some of these things, I'm getting married in 2 weeks and my mother in law and sister in law (to be) are in serious danger of no longer being with us in 2 weeks

Malari

Clareman wrote: »

Keep your family informed of your plans to get married, but don't tell them the details, it'll make your life a whole lot easier and less stressful (and it'll mean that you and your fiance won't be rowing much either)

Good grief! Is everyone's family this bad?! Not that I'm planning to get married, but that's scary!

Clareman

Malari wrote: »

Good grief! Is everyone's family this bad?! Not that I'm planning to get married, but that's scary!

I may be just over-reacting, but in general too many cooks too spoil the broth and everyone wants to put in there bit. Just off the phone from my mother who has hit the roof when I wouldn't share the table plan with her in advance and has now gone postal when I said I was putting all my aunts and uncles at the same table, I'm glad now I haven't given her a key to my house, my wedding tackle could be in trouble if she calls around

Malari

Clareman wrote: »

I may be just over-reacting, but in general too many cooks too spoil the broth and everyone wants to put in there bit. Just off the phone from my mother who has hit the roof when I wouldn't share the table plan with her in advance and has now gone postal when I said I was putting all my aunts and uncles at the same table, I'm glad now I haven't given her a key to my house, my wedding tackle could be in trouble if she calls around

You poor thing! She's bound to calm down!?

My boyfriend's mother seems to do the type to do this kind of thing though. My mom has told me she doesn't mind if I run away and get married alone in Honolulu under a pineapple tree, as long as I'm happy and send her a picture

beertons

sweetie wrote: »

having a dj only, no band - what about the older people, they have to be entertained too

My dad nearly hit the roof when I said we weren't going to have a band. And the dj we booked said he had no problem playing all the oldies weird dancey type songs. I wouldn't mind but most of the oldies will be gone to bed by 1030/11. He then tells me that nobody will go if there's no band. Ha. It's not as if you write on the invite that there's no band.

kizzyr

sweetie wrote: »

ye still have 4 days in a row off work!

If it was on a Thursday with your 4 days off, you have time to yourself at the end of the whole thing. With a Monday wedding its back to work on Wed. I just find it way more inconvenient than a Thurs/Fri/ weekend wedding.

tatli_lokma

we got married last may on a Thursday. 95% of the guests invited to the whole thing accepted, and didn't mind. The remainder who couldn't make it, came to the afters. the only people who had difficulties were those who were only invited to the afters - seems that they had more of an issue with taking a Fri off when they were out the night before, but those invited to the whole day were ok with taking 2 days off.

As others have said no matter what you do you will not be able to please every one - if you have a sat wedding and some people have to travel from other parts of the country, some of them will have to take Friday off or a half day. some people will have to be inconvenienced to attend, but if they care about you they will not see it as an inconvenience but as a pleasure and a privilege to be invited.

In fact I have a wedding to attend in July 2010, and its on a Sat in cork, in a REALLY expensive hotel - that is much more of an inconvenience to us than a local wedding on a Thurs! we are most likely going to book into a cheaper hotel the night before and stay there - there is little chance I would be up early enough, hair done and ready and in Cork by 1pm!

do what will make you happy.

esharknz

Cincikchick wrote: »

As others have said no matter what you do you will not be able to please every one - if you have a sat wedding and some people have to travel from other parts of the country, some of them will have to take Friday off or a half day. some people will have to be inconvenienced to attend, but if they care about you they will not see it as an inconvenience but as a pleasure and a privilege to be invited.

Yep, you'll never be able to please everyone, and you need to remember first and foremost that it's not their day, it's yours.

I've got the impression that people have almost tried to hijack my day because they feel they think their needs are greater than that of the bride and the groom (who are no doubt paying for the event). I know it's hard but you need to remember that if people moan, it's not their day

CathyMoran

esharknz wrote: »

Yep, you'll never be able to please everyone, and you need to remember first and foremost that it's not their day, it's yours.

I've got the impression that people have almost tried to hijack my day because they feel they think their needs are greater than that of the bride and the groom (who are no doubt paying for the event). I know it's hard but you need to remember that if people moan, it's not their day

I would agree that there is a lot of external pressure on the couple for their big day even with people with the best of intentions. We got married on a Friday which is a compromise in a way but did it for our own personal reasons. OP, Thursday is an OK day though you may have to accept that there will be less people there.