Sex with BF

LegacyUser

This is kind of a difficult one... Have been having big problems with my OH recently but we are getting back on course. He lives away 4 / 5 days per week so we dont get to see each other as often as I would like and i also think it dragged out the bad patch longer cos he was not around.

We are getting things back on track this week after some v difficult time but when he came home yesterday (had been away since Tuesday previously) I felt he was only huggin etc cos he wanted sex... He kept grabbing me (boobs and bum etc) teasing me which never used to annoy me when he was also loving.

I was not in the mood for intimacy / closeness cos I was still not fully over what happened (he was really cool and distant when we were not getting on) and didnt want to have sex but I dont want to play games and I dont want us to stay distant.

I dont mean I should have sex just to please him but will regular love making bring us closer... Do men react to it this way?

Nevyn

You need to talk to him about this as soon as possible, other wise him taking what would have been normal liberties with your body will make matters a lot worse.

It isn't going to be easy and you are going to have to try not upset his feelings and ego
while explaing you need to be wooed a bit again while you have to work on letting your resentment over what ever it was go.

Make up sex is important as is getting back to a level of intimacy wher eyou are happy to be curled up together but that wont happen while you are not ready and pushing him away and feeling under pressure.

LegacyUser

I am a male and I find myself in almost the same situation only it my girlfriend who is pressurising me for sex. We went through a rough patch where I thought it was the end for us. Even though now we have worked through it and it has been a month, I just dont feel ready yet. I am still working things out for myself in relation to the causes of the problems in the first place as I would not like a repeat.

My girlfriend keeps saying we have put it behind us and I agree, but she seems to have got over it extremely easy, whereas it has effected me more.

shellyboo

BF & GF wrote: »

This is kind of a difficult one... Have been having big problems with my OH recently but we are getting back on course. He lives away 4 / 5 days per week so we dont get to see each other as often as I would like and i also think it dragged out the bad patch longer cos he was not around.

We are getting things back on track this week after some v difficult time but when he came home yesterday (had been away since Tuesday previously) I felt he was only huggin etc cos he wanted sex... He kept grabbing me (boobs and bum etc) teasing me which never used to annoy me when he was also loving.

I was not in the mood for intimacy / closeness cos I was still not fully over what happened (he was really cool and distant when we were not getting on) and didnt want to have sex but I dont want to play games and I dont want us to stay distant.

I dont mean I should have sex just to please him but will regular love making bring us closer... Do men react to it this way?

Well, the way I look at it is this. You had the fight, and now the fight is over. Is it properly resolved? I'm going to say yes, sounds like it is.

You're still left with some residual resentment, which means you got annoyed when he started touching you. But remember, OP, that that's a good thing - your bf wants to be close to you! He's not doing anything wrong.

You say you don't want to stay distant - so don't. It really is that easy. Decide in your head to let it go and start planning your next meeting... you'd be really surprised how easy it is to just let it go and move on, especially if you have great make-up sex to look forward to.

And in any case, what's the alternative? Rehash the fight? Keep him at arm's length when you don't really want to? Push him away? None of these are good options. Letting it go and enjoying your relationship is an excellent option

LegacyUser

Thanks ok...

I have decided to stay with him and put it behind us and as such I now need to get back to normal so its time to get jiggy with it