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Competitive sister

  • 21-07-2009 11:12am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    What do you do about a competitive sibling?
    my younger sister and i get on well but everything is on her terms, for example if she's in bad mood the whole family is on tender hooks. her moods put me off doing stuff with her but then i feel guilty.
    she's competitive with me concerning fellas. she's get p****d off if i talk to fellas and my mother said she was jealous of my relationships.
    a few years back when i was with my first longterm boyfriend she sat bad mouthing me to him when we were all out for the night and he told me at work the next day. talk about making me upset but this is just an example of how bad it gets.
    do you ignore them? i'm not in any way confrontational and don't want to give my parents the headache of listening to us.


Comments

  • #2
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    Sounds like your sister's got some head issues she's projecting onto you. How these situations pan out depend as much on how the person on the receiving end responds to them, unfair as that is, because of course you really shouldn’t have to be dealing with it at all. But how and ever, life is not always fair and this is something you've got to deal with.

    I wouldn’t be the best person to advise you on how to deal with it specifically, as I'd be very much of the 'fukin back-off' school of thought and you don’t sound that type yourself, but I can definitely tell you you'll need to find a way to very firmly get her to project her issues elsewhere. If you don't do that your resentment will inevitably build and both yourself and your parents will have to deal with the fallout anyway.


  • #3
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    I have no idea how old you both are - as age can sometimes play to this.

    All I can suggest is that you do your best to start to separate family life from your personal life...
    It is doubtful that you really can say anything to her to change her - and your family ie your parents are the ones who need to tackle her behaviour at home - as that really is not acceptable and is extremely childish.

    If you are pressurised to take her out with you - just politely decline and suggest she go out with friends her own age etc - whatever you need to do.
    At the same time - why not plan to do things together - away from your friends / boyfriends - go for coffees etc - but be strong in that you need time with your friends away from your family.
    As to your BF's - continue to be careful in leaving them alone with her - she might be badmouthing now - but she could do worse... Yrs ago my OHs sister did her best to convince her that I really fancied her - talk about a night from hell - gas thing is if you saw my OHs sister you would have laughed at this - I did - again wrong thing to do...

    Hopefully when you are older you can get closer again - just be careful - but be strong - life is too short to surround yourself with folk like this - even if they are family.


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