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Going back to college, with my brother

  • 20-07-2009 3:16pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey all you helpful people! like all here, I've got a bit of a problem.

    I was in college last year, but got REALLY intimidated from the whole transition of secondary school to 3rd level, so in a panic, I dropped out of my course & took the year off.

    I'm now applying to the same course, & my twin (who also took the year off) is doing the same one. but he's recently told me he's not too comfortable with us doing the same thing.
    he was saying things like "we already spent 12 years in school together & now that's gonna continue for another four..."

    yeah, we were both kind of picked on in school (usual stuff, two quiet kids who didn't really get involved etc). but my bro got a tougher run in school (since he has a slight facial disfigurement)...

    ...didn't expect that did you...neither will the people doing the same course in sep.
    so I want to be there for him if anything happens, & I thought he'd want that as well.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing the course just for this, I'd LOVE to do it, I've been thinking of it since 6th year...But I guess I'm willing to change to a crap arts degree, if it makes my bro happy, cause over all, that's all I want, even if it means letting go of that deadly course...

    So, yeah, I guess I'm asking what would you do? or have you got any advice in general?
    Any info will do
    Thanks a million


Comments

  • #2
    squonk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,990 ✭✭✭squonk


    Being in college isn't at all like being in school. You'll both have plenty of free time outside of your course so you'll be able to create your own lives based on your own interestes and cultivate your own individual friendships. A few years makes a big difference also in that your brother is highly, highly unlikely to get any grief over his disfigurement. People have grown up by the time they hit college!

    have you thought too that it's going to be a tougher process fo r your borther settling into college life as it'll be all new to him? You've been there already for a spell so you'll adapt better. I think it'll be good for you both and 4 years isn't a long time either. I guarantee that by Easter you'll have settled into your own lives and will end up doing things together when it suits you both. By second year, you'll be well sorted.


  • #3
    Queencake
    Closed Accounts Posts: 176 ✭✭Queencake


    Jesus don't give up your course!

    I'm a twin too and I understand where your brother is coming from but if he expects you to give up your course he's mad.

    It's your life and your chance at getting an education in whatever field you want to.

    Ye will make different friends and join different societies (if you want). If you both want to do the course then just do it.

    Oh and btw like the other poster said college is a totally different atmosphere to secondary school. Far more accepting. Your brother will be fine. He might get a few looks from a few idiots for the first week or two (human nature sadly) but that's it. You don't have to protect your brother. Maybe he wants to stand on his own two feet now?

    Best advice anyone can give ye is to join societies in college. Great for meeting new people - my college years wouldn't have been the same without them!


  • #4
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    Do NOT change your course to please your brother or anyone else. College is completely and utterly different to being in school. People are more likely to be left completely alone rather than be picked on tbh.

    You will excel in different areas and join clubs that interest you. You will not always be together. If it's a big college then you will have a wide variety of canteens etc. so you won't be in each others pockets.

    Your brother is probably just worried that he'll lose out on what a lot of people get out of college; the chance to find themselves and become an individual. That doesn't have to be the case though. You'll both meet new people and have different friends if you give each other space. However, you can support each other as well but that doesn't mean constantly being together.


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