An intimate query

LegacyUser

I hope asking for thus advice here is ok.

I'm a female in my 30's and I find intercourse very painful.

It's at the stage where it's going to cost me a nice relationship. Has anyone else got the same problem or had the same problem?Is there anywhere I can go for advice?

Thanks.

Nevyn

Talk to you dr about it.

joeduggan

if you look at the problem page of the star today , someone has wrote in about the exact same problem and the agony aunt reckons she isnt aroused enough. that its a very common problem for women.

LegacyUser

If you are very 'tight' down there this can be a problem.

I am too there and its correct to say you do need a good bit of foreplay.

On examinations Doctors have difficulty doing smears etc on me and my boyfriend says that he does have to really ease it in and use lubricant, after a while it relaxes a bit.

I am also in my 30's but still cannot use tampons etc because of this so you are not alone.

I think a visit to the doc could be good to see if all is ok.

LegacyUser

Hi OP. This must be a very distressing situation for you and definitely, your doctor should be able to help. Maybe see a woman GP if you would feel better about it.

But another question - why is it that you think it could cost you your relationship? Are you embarrassed to tell your boyfriend that it hurts? Most men would be understanding about doing things slowly if you tell them what's going on. Or do you make excuses not to have sex?

Do try and let your boyfriend know what's going on with you and that you're looking into getting help, it will be a lot better than him getting frustrated if he doesn't know why he's getting knocked back.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I hope asking for thus advice here is ok.

I'm a female in my 30's and I find intercourse very painful.

It's at the stage where it's going to cost me a nice relationship. Has anyone else got the same problem or had the same problem?Is there anywhere I can go for advice?

Thanks.

Cost me a few relationships, turned out i had vaginismus after an incident, went to a doctor, didn't find it helpful, boyfriend was very patient etc, a whole yr before we broke up, after that i went to psychosexual therapy on my own, that worked for me, still tight but can enjoy sex now last 5 yrs woo hoo,

I'm not saying you have that too at all though, try the doc 1st to see if they can tell what's up, if you've no luck after that i'd defo give the psychosexual therapy a go, just even the fact that you've found it painful previously could make you spasm involuntarily to avoid more pain, vicious cycle, i worked on pelvic floor muscles and also used vaginal dilators at home, the therapist suggested them and bought them for me, not sure exactly what cracked it, the therapy chat or the exercises, maybe it was the combiantion of things that worked for me, good luck

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I hope asking for thus advice here is ok.

I'm a female in my 30's and I find intercourse very painful.

It's at the stage where it's going to cost me a nice relationship. Has anyone else got the same problem or had the same problem?Is there anywhere I can go for advice?

Thanks.

k,i know its not exactly the same but my friend had this problem for a long time too.
She found it very painful to have sex, her and her bf were getting very frustrated about it (they were going out for 3years at this stage), she decided maybe she needed to talk to someone, now this was after seeing every specialist she could to try get it sorted to no avail, there was no problems down there at all.
After about another year they split up, she had a one night stand and was completely relaxed,no pain and lots of fun(had a few glasses of wine in her too lol). i know it sounds bad but doing something crazy and impulsive like that could work, Its all in the mind, perhaps a childhood memory (like her) or just nerves or trying to relax so much that u cant. Maybe have everything checked and if that fails then go to a councelor.
It will be ok, just hit the nail on the head now before it takes u over!

LegacyUser

You could also have cervix erosion/ectropion, my doctor identified that I have this when doing a smear text. She said it can cause pain and some bleeding, although I do not have any symptoms. It is not serious in anyway, doctor said I have ot because I am on the combined pill. Best bet is to head to doctor..

HugoDuncan

This might sound like a joke but believe me it's not and I'm speaking from experience. A good eating out session will get you wet and aroused, then get your partner to slowly fist you. Over time this will "widen you" so to speak.

Oh The Humanity

^^There is no way she will be able for that if she is tight, just no way.

Nevyn

HugoDuncan banned.