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"I love the smell of Boardsies in the morning"

  • 20-07-2009 9:38am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,021 ✭✭✭


    Link

    Hilarious website.. enter a keyword and see it appear in famous movie quotes... better than is sounds! :pac:

    Some of my faves so far....

    "Houston, we have a penis."

    "I find your lack of minge hair disturbing"

    "When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my anus. That's the price she has to pay."

    "Well, a knob's a knob, but they call it 'le knob.'"


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,193 ✭✭✭[Jackass]


    "Killing me won't bring back your aborted baby."

    "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful STD."

    "May the Hairy Hands be with you."

    "I'm a goddamn marvel of modern Tranny love."

    "Come with anal rape if you want to live."

    "Funny like I'm a Mexican Midget? I amuse you?"

    This is fun :D


  • Posts: 5,869 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Much better if you keep putting in the same word.....


    Here's looking at knacker, kid.

    Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the knacker.

    You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the knacker.

    and, my personal favourite

    "That'll do, knacker. That'll do."

    Edit: the very next one i got was:

    "Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty knacker."

    Edit number 2:

    This just gets better and better.....

    "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to yore ma."
    "We can't stop here. This is yore ma country."
    "Madness? This is Yore Ma!"
    "This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old yore ma." (Clockwork Orange, I think)
    "Come with yore ma if you want to live."
    "This is the day you shall always remember as the day that you almost caught Yore Ma."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    I do wish we could chat longer, but I 'm having an old mickey for dinner.

    -Thread excellente


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 706 ✭✭✭MoonDancer


    You take the blue boards.ie - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

    I defy you! Come and kneel before Boards.ie!

    I always say a kiss on the hand might feel very good, but a boards.ie lasts forever.

    E.T. phone boards.ie.


    I say we take off and nuke the entire boards.ie from orbit.


    lol :D



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,431 ✭✭✭✭Saibh


    All work and no boards makes Jack a dull boy (The Shining)

    Play it, Sam. Play 'As After Hours goes by' (Casablanca)

    First rule of Saibh Club is - you do not talk about Saibh Club (Fight Club)



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,720 ✭✭✭Hal1


    We'll always have Swine Flu.
    Everybody! Everybody wants a piece of swine flu!
    Go back to the swine flu. You shall not pass.
    Here's looking at swine flu, kid.
    Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my swine flu, in this life or the next.
    :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 255 ✭✭baglady


    Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say 'Penis' at will to old ladies.


    I find your lack of penis disturbing.


    I am big! It's the penis that got small.

    I'll get you, my pretty, and your little penis, too!

    Keep your friends close, but your penis closer.

    Ray, if someone asks if you are a penis, you say, 'yes!'


    can't believe I found this so funny!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭Prundic


    ' When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my willy. That's the price she has to pay. '

    ' The world will look up and shout "Save us!" and I will whisper "Willy." '

    ' I ate his willy with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. '

    :pac::eek::confused:


  • Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Say hello to my little cock!

    giant%2Bchicken%2Bcock.jpg


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    The more ordinary the word the funnier it seems to get.

    I see dead mouse
    I know this sounds crazy, but ever since yesterday on the road, I've been seeing this biro.
    That's no moon. It's a coffee
    You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the plug.
    Wait a minute, Doc. Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a Finger?
    And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my chair.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,836 ✭✭✭TanG411


    "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the condom"

    :pac:

    Thanks OP


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,111 ✭✭✭Jesus Juice


    ''If you build it, shit will come.''

    Brilliant!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 705 ✭✭✭yurmothrintites


    You know the difference between you and me? I make recession look good.

    You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your ass together and blow

    You're gonna need a bigger muff.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭sean6477


    Well, here's another nice jack shít you've gotten me into!

    You had me at 'jack shít'.

    Here's looking at jack shít, kid.

    You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your jack shít together and blow.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,836 ✭✭✭TanG411


    "Round up the usual erection"

    "All right, Mr. DeMille. I'm ready for my erection"

    "Killing me won't bring back your erection"

    "I love the smell of erection in the morning"

    "A boy's best friend is his erection" :pac:

    "With great power comes great toothpaste"

    "Everybody! Everybody wants a piece of viagra"

    "Keep your friends close, but your herpes closer"

    "Okay here's the plan, we get the warhead and then hold the world ransom for. . . . One million boobies!"

    I enjoy that site :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    Nobody puts W-hore in a corner

    Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful w-hore

    Houston, we have a w-hore

    I could dance with you 'til the w-hore come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the whore 'til you came home
    Keep your friends close, but your w-hore closer

    All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my w-hore

    You want the whore? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.

    Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a whore!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,183 ✭✭✭✭Will


    Killing me won't bring back your vasectomy.

    That'll do, vasectomy. That'll do.

    This is your vasectomy for your husband... and this is my vasectomy for your vasectomy.

    I always say a kiss on the hand might feel very good, but a vasectomy lasts forever.

    Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vasectomy, in this life or the next.

    I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a vasectomy! What a vasectomy!

    What? Twelve dollars and we don't even get a vasectomy?

    Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the vasectomy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8 PoliteFrisbee


    "Listen to them. Children of the Condom. What music they make.":pac:

    Can't... Stop... Laughing..:D
    Thank you OP




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,779 ✭✭✭A Neurotic


    You gonna bark all day, little ejaculation? Or are you gonna bite?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 539 ✭✭✭gorrrr72


    It would be funny if the next general election posters had these as slogans.


    I defy you! Come and kneel before Brian Cowen!

    You can't handle the brian cowen!

    I'll get you, my pretty, and your little brian cowen, too!

    He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty brian cowen!

    You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the brian cowen.

    If you build it, brian cowen will come.

    Tell me something, Billy. How come a cute little brian cowen like this can turn into a thousand ugly monsters?

    To brian cowen, and beyond!

    Better to be king for a night than brian cowen for a lifetime.

    You're gonna need a bigger brian cowen.

    Brian Cowen! Why did it have to be brian cowen?

    The power of Brian Cowen compels you.

    I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take brian cowen anymore!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,235 ✭✭✭Dave147


    There is an arsebandit coming. Are you sure you're on the right side?

    I say we take off and nuke the entire bungalow from orbit.

    The world will look up and shout "Save us!" and I will whisper "Bungalow."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    You're gonna need a bigger gicker.
    Which movie was this quote from?
    Jaws (1975)
    (the missing word was 'boat')


    Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his gicker.
    Which movie was this quote from?
    It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
    (the missing word was 'wings')


    I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your gicker will be out of style!

    Which movie was this quote from?
    The Goonies (1985)
    (the missing word was 'clothes')

    The power of Gicker compels you.
    Which movie was this quote from?
    The Exorcist (1973)
    (the missing word was 'Christ')


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,457 ✭✭✭giggsy664


    Word used: Boards

    Listen to them. Children of the Boards. What music they make.
    Dracula (1931)
    (the missing word was 'night')

    I love the smell of Boards in the morning.
    Apocalypse Now (1979)
    (the missing word was 'napalm')

    One Boards's too many, and a hundred's not enough.
    The Lost Weekend (1945)
    (the missing word was 'drink')

    Boards? Where we're going we don't need Boards.
    Back to the Future (1985)
    (the missing word was 'Roads')

    We can't stop here. This is Boards country.
    Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
    (the missing word was 'bat')


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,082 ✭✭✭Pygmalion


    "Funny like I'm a ******? I amuse you?"

    "I am the author. You are the Jew. I outrank you!"

    "First rule of Flute Club is - you do not talk about Flute Club."

    "You had me at 'spare change'."

    "Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a cookie monster!"

    "I'm Kianu Reeves! I'm Kianu Reeves!" (Spartacus)

    "Hasta la vista, commie bastard."


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 8,490 Mod ✭✭✭✭Fluorescence


    "You've got Mary Harney on you." Ouch :pac:

    "Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its snot."

    "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to STDs."

    "Ray, if someone asks if you are a reindeer, you say, 'yes!'"

    "I have always depended on the kindness of arse."

    "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world lethal amounts of alcohol didn't exist."

    "You know the difference between you and me? I make death look good."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 71 ✭✭Ahoy!


    Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy ****e.

    This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old vagina.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,493 ✭✭✭eddiehead


    With great power comes great buttsecks


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭Sea Sharp


    I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take blow job anymore!

    Few men ever swapped more than one blow job with Sean Regan.

    As God is my blow job, I'll never be hungry again.




    If you build it, cum stain will come.

    Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty cum stain.

    I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a cum stain! What a cum stain!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    That's no moon. It's a bollocks.

    You're gonna need a bigger bollocks.

    You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel bollocks?' Well, do ya, punk?

    When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my bollocks. That's the price she has to pay.

    You had me at 'bollocks'.

    They may take away our bollocks, but they'll never take our freedom

    I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old bollocks for dinner.

    Keep your friends close, but your bollocks closer.




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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,561 ✭✭✭Duff


    Hasta la vista, gimp.

    The world will look up and shout "Save us!" and I will whisper "Gimp."

    You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a gimp.

    Flaps? Where we're going we don't need flaps.

    I love the smell of flaps in the morning.

    If you build it, flaps will come.


    Words cannot describe the awesome!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    I feel the need - the need for fart!
    Top Gun (1986)
    (the missing word was 'speed')

    Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my fart, in this life or the next.
    Gladiator (2000)
    (the missing word was 'vengeance')

    You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the fart.
    The Dark Knight (2008)
    (the missing word was 'villain')


    I'm king of the fart!
    Titanic (1997)
    (the missing word was 'world')

    The power of Fart compels you.
    The Exorcist (1973)
    (the missing word was 'Christ')


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,296 ✭✭✭RandolphEsq


    "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world Randolph J. Winston didn't exist"

    "You gonna bark all day, little Randolph J. Winston? Or are you gonna bite?"

    "Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the Randolph J. Winston"


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 6,485 Mod ✭✭✭✭silvervixen84


    That's no moon. It's a boob.

    I'm king of the fugly!

    I'm going to make him a snot he can't refuse.

    I love the smell of sweat in the morning.

    Made it Ma! Top of the massive willy!

    And for an hour, for an hour - I'm the best multiple orgasm in the world....






  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 806 ✭✭✭Niall09


    "I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a fart! What a fart!"
    :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,606 ✭✭✭Jumpy


    The world will look up and shout "Save us!" and I will whisper "Knob."


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  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,945 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its bollocko.

    There is nothing except this! There is no art opening; there is no benefit; there is nothing to sign. There is the next bollocko, and nothing else.

    No, Mr. Bond, I expect bollocko to die.

    One bollocko's too many, and a hundred's not enough.

    A boy's best friend is his bollocko.

    I would go and see that movie.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 806 ✭✭✭Niall09


    "You want the penis? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."

    "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your yore ma together and blow."

    "One morning I shot an elephant in my recycling bin. How he got in my recycling bin, I don't know."

    "I'm going to make him a recycling bin he can't refuse." - Pardon the pun :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Here's looking at arse, kid.

    That'll do sugartits, that'll do

    Tell me something, Billy. How come a cute little gee like this can turn into a thousand ugly monsters?

    You're only supposed to blow the bloody windsock off!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 749 ✭✭✭Spastafarian


    You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your wrinkly fannyflaps together and blow.

    Made it, Ma! Top of the boner!

    First rule of Marty Whelan's Knob Club is - you do not talk about Marty Whelan's Knob Club.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful shite."

    "One shite's too many, and a hundred's not enough."

    "You know the difference between you and me? I make shite look good."

    "When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my shite. That's the price she has to pay."

    "They may take away our shite, but they'll never take our freedom!"

    "We'll always have shite."

    "No other factory in the world mixes its shite by waterfall. But it's the only way if you want it just... right."

    "shite, for lack of a better word, is good."

    "I'm here to fight for truth, justice, and the American shite."



    lmao, using the same word over and over again is brilliant.
    some good laughs with this :D:D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,359 ✭✭✭Overblood


    I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old shite for dinner.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,359 ✭✭✭Overblood


    Wait a minute, Doc. Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a Shite?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,359 ✭✭✭Overblood


    My mama always said life was like a box of nob cheese.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,462 ✭✭✭cardio,shoot me


    All work and no penis makes Jack a dull boy. easily the best evar!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    May the Scrotum be with you.

    Keep your friends close, but your anal beads closer.

    Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my minge. Prepare to die!

    I find your lack of used tampon disturbing.

    Tell me something, Billy. How come a cute little broken condom like this can turn into a thousand ugly monsters?

    This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old scissoring.

    All work and no felching makes Jack a dull boy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,216 ✭✭✭jiltloop


    \\Few men ever swapped more than one pubic hair with Sean Regan \\Perfect organism, it's structural perfection is matched only by its pubic hair.\\They don't throw their garbage away. They make it into a pubic hair.\\I don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a pubic hair.\\Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy pubic hair.\\Mrs Robinson you're trying to seduce pubic hair. Aren't you?\\This is your pubic hair for your husband... and this is my pubic hair for your pubic hair .\\Dave, my pubic hair is going! I can feel it! I can feel it!\\I defy you! Come and kneel before Pubic Hair !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,216 ✭✭✭jiltloop


    Sorry about above lump of text, it won't keep the spaces between the lines in hence the need to introduce the back slashs.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,997 ✭✭✭latenia


    So juvenile...

    I have a head for business and a gee for sin.

    Round up the usual gee.

    I love the smell of gee in the morning.

    I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your gee will be out of style!

    Gee? Where we're going we don't need gee.

    I'll get you, my pretty, and your little gee, too!

    A gee. Shaken, not stirred.

    Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the Gee Room!

    Gee, for lack of a better word, is good.

    Remember, you're fighting for this woman's gee, which is probably more than she ever did.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 460 ✭✭twanda


    "Lions and tigers and tits, oh my!"
    "I'm here to fight for truth, justice and the american tits"
    "Say hello to my little tits"

    LOL


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 38 Anthem


    Keep your friends close, but your rhubarb closer.:pac:


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