Lost out on friendliest girl I met due to shyness

LegacyUser

This is a long drawn out saga so I will only give bare facts. I had a bad accident three years ago and lost all my self confidence because of it. I've just recovered now. After the accident i used to see this girl on the bus who I liked but was too shy to speak to her. I got the feeling that she liked me too. She made an effort to try and talk to me one evening but I was too shy, said nothing and thus offended her. It took me five weeks to go up to her, apologise and tell her I was just shy. Unfortunately my shyness got the better of me and I made a mess of it and embarrassed myself. I then did the worst thing and ignored her on the bus after that. About two months later at the same nightclass she sat behind me and did everything she could to draw my attention to her without actualy saying anything. I presume she wanted me to make the effort to talk to her. Well I didn't and at the end of the night when I turned around she was still sitting there looking at me but I didn't make eye contact and I said nothing. She got up and walked away. I tried to apologise to her at the next class but she won't talk to me now and is now with someone else. Does anyone have any idea what her motives were at the nightclass and if there is anything I can do to fix this. Thanks from the worlds biggest idiot. P.s. My self confidence is back now after recovering from accident but it's a bit late now and I have like crap ever since that night class because i like the girl so much. It's also realy awkward as we live and work near each other although ibarely see her. Any advice anyone?

Taltos

At this stage you really have nothing to lose here.

You can either just chalk this up to experience and put it out of your head.
OR
Next time you see her - just explain it as you have here. Tell her you are very sorry - you made a fool of yourself and you just want to say sorry to her. Let her know that you think she is amazing and really regret acting like a total dweeb. No need to go into the details of the accident - just let her know you were going thru a rough time due to an accident and you were not feeling yourself.

Apologising is a good way to move on from this - at worst you will get some closure - at best you might just get a new friend.

tbh

being honest, I don't think you should persue this.

You don't know if the girl even liked you, she might have just been being friendly. Even if she did, you know nothing about her. You might not like her if you got to know her better, or she might not like you. So don't obsess on what was, in effect, a meaningless encounter.

Instead, try and sort out your shyness so that, the next time something like this happens, you're better able to deal with it. I'd reccomend toastmasters Ireland as a great way to meet new people and gain confidence in public speaking.

miec

Hi Op

I know that shyness can be so crippling and if you really want to talk to her then I would say sorry for being so ignorant and maybe make a joke about suffering crippling shyness that results in ignoramous behaviour (or words to that affect, something funnier than that). However, if you think it is too late, maybe put it down to experience, I used to be shy and put off many friendly people because I was crippled by it, like TBH says work on that, but I would also say that you don't know if you like or dislike the girl, you never gave it a try, so I personally would try talking to her just to get to know her.

Ashlinggnilsia

If i was you i wouldnt expect anything to come of it simply because she is with someone else and you cant expect her to drop everything now but i do think the next time you see her simply say sorry if you thought i was being rude the last time I just find it hard to make conversation sometimes and I didnt really no what to say .... simply clear the air let her no your actually a nice guy by explaining u wernt ignoring her you just didnt no what to say to her and she will at least see and understand that about you and you wont keep thinking what if ... and so you never no if it doesnt work out with the current fella and she is interested you will have a chance but by ignoring her or not speakin to her you wont....she will think you have no interest (that is if she is interested) and as the first person said you have nothing to loose!!

LegacyUser

dont pursue this. You will come across really silly not talking to her, talking to he apologising. If she talks to you again just repy but dont see her as a girlfriend. We all make mistakes just learn from it and move on.

CDfm

I wouldnt worry to much but shyness is a problem you need to address.Nightclasses are great because you do get to mix.

Her motives at the nightclass were a familiar face and being friendly. Just practice by saying hello and stuff about the weather.