Can you still be friends with ex wife

LegacyUser

I'm separated for 3 years, no children, at the start the separation was heading for war then my wife got ill (still feel guilty that the strain of the separation made her ill) while she was in hospital we decided to give things another go and counselling but through the counselling it was determined that while our intentions were good to try and make things work in reality that the issues would come back and thing could get worse and best thing to do was to seperate while acknowleging we were both loving and good people we were not right for each other, we agreed to continue living together for a year while she recovered and we built a good friendship while we avoided the key issues , eventually I moved out with her staying in the house, we continue to be very close, while I have dated since I can't commit to a relationship as I feel I'll hurt my ex and the same with the legal issues I have been slow to start those as well, my big fear is that she could get ill again and I want to do what i can to avoid that,,,, we have discussed getting back together but acknowledge that after a few months things would go back to the old ways, we still met up regularly and sometimes end up in bed, its like we are going out with each other but wout the hassle of marriage, Is this Healthy for either of us or is it ok to be friends with your ex or have that type of relationship knowing that eventually one of ye will meet someone and it will have to end.

SarahSassy

Can you give us an indication of what the issues are and why they cant be gotten over?

LegacyUser

One of the Major issue was a lack of respect for my family and where I came from.it had got to the situation where I could not speak about my family and was asked not to that was unacceptable to me if we got back together that would be the big elephant in the room if we had children would my parents be allowed to have any part in their lives .

SarahSassy

And ye cant get over that??? why did you marry her if you knew this?

Well OP you need to cut your losses there and move on. You are still sleeping with her which is clouding your judgement. Either cut all ties or get back together...

LegacyUser

Suppose that was the straw that broke the camels back you hoped that these issues wouldnt be there when you were married and marriage and the early romance would be back, naive I suppose, thought that no matter what the issues were you thought that no matter what that you could fix them or change or ignore them looking back now its the advice I would give someone if you aint sure it wont work