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Dating a smoker!

  • 17-07-2009 04:14PM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 412 ✭✭


    just wonder what are ppl experiences if they have dated a smoker where u were a non smoker. im dating a smoker at the mo and its kinda bothering me . just a tad , but its early and it might bother me more as it goes on!


«1

Comments

  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,765 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor


    Dated one, we're together 5 years but after year one I got sick of it.
    So I told her it was me or the fags, thankfully she made the right decision and she's happy I nagged her for so long. she's a lot healthier now, better skin, teeth, more energy etc and of course not spending €9 on smokes!


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 11,209 Mod ✭✭✭✭squonk


    I'd say that's not something you can really adjust to becuase if it's bothering you now early on, it's unlikely to go away. Also, smoking isn't that easy to give up so it's not something that will be gotten over overnight. You really have to decide if you can live with it and if, as the relationship developes, the things you like outweigh the smoking imho.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 Avoiding Work


    I'm a smoker and my b/f is not. Together 5+ years. I respect his lungs (unlike my own, I know I know!) and try not smoke around him much; only smoke in the kitchen at home so the house is not stinking of it.

    However! I smoked before I met him. He knew I smoked and had no intentions of giving up when I met him (I will one day, just not to-day!) therefore I dont think its very fair that he (or you) should complain.

    Luckily he thinks the same way, it would be a different story if it was something I picked up after a few years together. I can say for certain though had he start nagging / trying to force me to give up in the early days I'd have shown him the door.

    NO LECTURES PLEASE, I KNOW ITS BAD FOR ME, I KNOW ITS ROBBING ME BLIND AND I KNOW YOU CONSIDER ME WEAK WILLED BUT THERE YA HAVE IT :D


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 12,810 Mod ✭✭✭✭Keano


    Have a word just so it doesn't become a bigger issue somewhere down the road.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    would be a deal breaker for me, couldnt date a smoker, it's my number one turn off in a man.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    And then there are people who don't mind dating a smoker and those who like the smell of it, tbh it takes all sort. If it's a deal breaker for you then talk about it and see if you can reach a comprimise, if you can't then you can't.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 430 ✭✭Doodoo


    Two of my ex's were smokers and i found it disgusting even though they wouldn't smoke around me. I could still smell it off their clothes, hair and breath which was something that i tried to put up with but led to alot of rows. Thoughts now - Wouldn't even entertain the idea of going out with another one


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,590 ✭✭✭theteal


    sam34 wrote: »
    would be a deal breaker for me, couldnt date a smoker, it's my number one turn off in a man.

    +1, reversed, it's been a rule since my teens, i just can't go near a smoker, it's an instant turn off to see a (pun:D) smokin' hot girl with a cigarette in her hand


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,179 ✭✭✭✭Max Power1


    sam34 wrote: »
    would be a deal breaker for me, couldnt date a smoker, it's my number one turn off in a man.
    theteal wrote: »
    +1, reversed, it's been a rule since my teens, i just can't go near a smoker, it's an instant turn off to see a (pun:D) smokin' hot girl with a cigarette in her hand

    +1 from me also... deal breaker IMO


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    Doodoo wrote: »
    Thoughts now - Wouldn't even entertain the idea of going out with another one

    exactly, i would not go near a smoker, irrespective of how attractive he was otherwise.

    i kissed one once, years ago, and it was absolutely repulsive *shudder*


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,441 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    Me too. Never again. I suppose if it bothers someone, they'd better say something or do something before things get more serious. Things than are minor enough niggles can become very very irritating as time goes on.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭networks


    jeez im a smoker and the gf hates to see al the money goin up in puffs,prob like it in her purse instead lol:rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭This_Years_Love


    sam34 wrote: »
    would be a deal breaker for me, couldnt date a smoker, it's my number one turn off in a man.

    Mine too


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Cant stand the smell of ciggerettes. Only once ever did I kiss a girl who smoked and have never done so since.

    It is the single only thing that rules out a girl for me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,012 ✭✭✭LimeFruitGum


    sam34 wrote: »
    would be a deal breaker for me, couldnt date a smoker, it's my number one turn off in a man.

    Same here. Horrible pongy fag breath.... yuck!
    I have snogged a few smokers in my time and the cig odour is something fierce.
    I would never go out with a smoker. If it is something that is going to bother you, OP, think you should really talk about it with the other person. They're probably not going to give up but you never know.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭chocgirl


    No, absolutely could not date a smoker. Nothing I hate more than the stink of stale smoke. If I'm in a smoker's house I go straight home to shower, scrub that stench off me.:(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,247 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    i think a girl smoking is sexy, i smoke too so it doesnt bother me ,


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 809 ✭✭✭Terodil


    Any significant consumption of drugs (incl. alcohol and smoke) = immediate k.o., next please


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    More of a survey than a PI.

    OP if it's bothering you, ask her can she consider quitting. If she can't, decide if its a dealbreaker for you or not.

    If it's a dealbreaker, break up with her. If its not, then don't, but try help her to quit.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭dh0661


    NO LECTURES PLEASE, I KNOW ITS BAD FOR ME, I KNOW ITS ROBBING ME BLIND AND I KNOW YOU CONSIDER ME WEAK WILLED BUT THERE YA HAVE IT :D

    You know giving them up is easy!!! - it's staying off them is the hardest


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 715 ✭✭✭Reesy


    Long time married to & in love with a smoker. I don't smoke. Passionately wish she didn't but gave up trying years ago.

    Just a tip: don't assume you can change her - I couldn't.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,390 ✭✭✭The Big Red Button


    As a matter of interest, do you smoke at all, even socially? (i.e. drunkenly!) The reason I ask is because, if you do, there's a big danger that you could start smoking a lot more by going out with her, when you're accompanying her out to the smoking areas etc! Something to keep in mind.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,910 ✭✭✭OneArt


    Don't love it, leave.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,235 ✭✭✭Dave147


    Never went out with a smoker and never would, think it's a disgusting habit and I would never be comfortable around my OH, I have never actually physically touched a cigarette, lit or unlit, that's how much I hate them!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭networks


    great nite,cigs outside the door chatting to women who also smoke best part of nite, tbh,broke as well, however thats life:rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Smokers have such a dulled sense of taste and smell, I really believe they don't realise just how repugnant they smell. Everything, their clothes, their hair, their skin, reeks to a non smoker whose sense of smell is more naturally heightened. Even their skin tone is grey. Worst of the lot is a girl whose face is covered with makeup. Then she smokes, and the makeup turns a ghastly shade of grey. It is horrible. I cannot imagine how these girls believe themselves to be attractive.

    But the stale smoke breath is the killer. It is just so awful. I was close to kissing a smoker once. I nearly gagged at the smell. Even I was taken aback. No, smoking is a complete and utter turnoff. Well and good if both are smokers with equally dulled senses, or if you just don't mind. But I also believe you will never change a smoker. So for me, deal breaker.

    Now if only so-called 'social smokers,' "I only smoke when I'm drinking" would admit to being smokers. Smoking is smoking, even if it's only once in a blue moon. It still stinks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Same here. Horrible pongy fag breath.... yuck!
    I have snogged a few smokers in my time and the cig odour is something fierce.
    I would never go out with a smoker. If it is something that is going to bother you, OP, think you should really talk about it with the other person. They're probably not going to give up but you never know.

    I'm the same, but with alcohol, the stink from a girl who's been drinking is rancid, and the next morning is even worse, you could wake up with Miss World and the smell of stale drink from her breath would kill a dog. Though the fact she's been sweating out the alcohol all night will nearly mask it, not pretty.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,296 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    As Silverfish said previously this is turning into a survey, not advice for the OP. This will be closed if it continues in that vein. Less pro/anti smoking, more advice for the OP. Thanks.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    OP, if this is already starting to become an issue for you in your new relationship then you need to address it with your partner. Otherwise, if you stay together, it's going to fester and become even more of an issue.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    I could never be with a smoker, that was and is my biggest bugbear.
    My wife "was" a smoker before we got together and I made it very clear my oppinion on the matter and she simply quit. She was a casual smoker so not fully addicted. At the time she was living in Prague so when I went back home there was a month or two before she came here after me and in that time she smoked all her cigarettes and almost did get addicted but has never smoked since.

    If it bothers you, let it be known from the beginning. There is no point getting attached and falling in love only to have it become a deal breaker later on.


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