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Think I blew it with girl of my dreams!

  • 15-07-2009 12:43AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    So long story short, a girl has started working in my department (office job). She's a few years younger than me (me 22, her 18), totally out of my league looks wise (does modelling), funny, smart, kind, amazing etc.

    Since she's started we've been getting on like a house on fire, always having chats and sharing jokes, but from day one I secretly wanted more... I think she only wants to be friends, but know it's possible that maybe she feels that same.

    So our department went for drinks on Tuesday, she was excited, kept asking me if it is definitely going ahead, am I definitely going... I'm thinking about how much I really want to kiss her (in my head also thinking, maybe she just wants to be friends, maybe she's too young for me, maybe she should be kissing other 18 year olds and I shouldn't ruin the friendship we have).

    Well, rather than giving faith an opportunity to roll the dice, I managed to mess things up myself.

    How? By telling her as a joke that the party was 'strictly fancy dress', she turned up dressed as a black cat, complete with face painted whiskers and nose. As soon as she realized she had fallen victim of a mean prank, she was mortified and left to get a taxi home, despite me pleading with her to stay.

    What was I thinking! I thought surely she wouldn't ACTUALLY fall for it. Why didn't I tell her I was only kidding? I'm an idiot!


    Today at work she was livid with me, refusing even to speak to me. When I managed to corner her and try to apologize, she told me to f off and not to speak to her.

    How can I make this better? Have I really blown a really nice friendship, and potentially something more?

    I know we will eventually be on speaking terms again, but I really feel now, we'll never be more than mere acquaintances.


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,808 ✭✭✭Ste.phen


    To be fair, you did publicly embarass her, which is likely to take a while to blow over, if indeed it does.
    Leave it a while, then try apologising again maybe?


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,765 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor


    The fact that she didnt even ask anyone else about the fancy dress means dude she's an idiot!

    But back to the topic at hand.. the only way i can see you redeeming yourself is if you come into work dressed up to empathise with how she was feeling, could really win you some brownie points.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 162 ✭✭Saucey-Susie


    first of all - prank wise - BRILLIANT!!!!! hehehhe :) its like something you would see on tv but would never actually think it could be pulled off in person!! hehehe

    but the poor thing must have been completely mortified.... but she will get over it. people in work will start to slag and tease her and she will eventually see the funny side of it tho, and you two will eventally get talking again

    but do you really wanna start something with someone from work? they can get sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo messy and complicated and from experience, not worth it at all


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,128 ✭✭✭thorbarry


    box of chocolates is always a good way of saying sorry


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,727 ✭✭✭goodlad


    Maybe you could show up at work dressed up one day soon?
    A lion or something! :D

    It might make her laugh and see the funny side of things and forget being annoyed.


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,286 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    goodlad wrote: »
    Maybe you could show up at work dressed up one day soon?
    A lion or something! :D

    It might make her laugh and see the funny side of things and forget being annoyed.

    Sounds like an idea- I'd add in the box of chocolates and flowers though. She trusted you- even with something silly- and you screwed up in her eyes.


  • Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 351 ✭✭ron_darrell


    Emmm to be honest sounds like she might be too mature for you. What were you thinking? Seriously? What in the world made you think publicly humiliating the girl would make her want to go out with you? As for the suggestion that you dress up and go into work, bad idea. She's only likely to think you're taking the mick again.

    Best advice would be to back off and leave her alone. She's 18. This is probably one of her first jobs. She's was feeling insecure and hoping for a friendly face to be there and you took advantage and made her look silly. What you really need to do is take a look at yourself, feel some shame over what you've done and grow up.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    Sounds like a Jim Carey/Ben Stiler movie scene...


    OP...the smell of BS with this story is overwhelming..:rolleyes:

    Then again, I tend to underestimate how stupid people can be and perhaps give them too much credit...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    smccarrick wrote: »
    Sounds like an idea- I'd add in the box of chocolates and flowers though. She trusted you- even with something silly- and you screwed up in her eyes.


    This is a really good idea.. Dont think I would forgive you though


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 217 ✭✭daosulli


    Prank, brilliant :D . . . cant believe she fell for it. . not the best move on ur behalf, but I think youve realised that ( and like the last poster, i spat my coffee out reading this :D )
    Let her cool down & give her space, could take a while though . . . but in time I think she will see the funny side of it.
    The famous batman & robin episode from only fools n horses comes to mind . . now that was funny :D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    .

    What was I thinking! I thought surely she wouldn't ACTUALLY fall for it. Why didn't I tell her I was only kidding? I'm an idiot!
    Oh Nowz.........:D

    But ya know this could be the making and the beginning of a long relationship .That would be some story to tell the eh ...grandkids .Bunch of flowers might be a good idea and I am sure she will see the funny side of it if she hasn't already ,as long as you didn't mean it to happen .Good luck :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    I'd just hope that she doesn't read boards tbh!

    Office humilliation followed by internet humilliation... Nice!

    Give dressing up a go. I'd go as the guys from the Bounty ad, y'know the ones in big oul one dresses!?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    I'd just hope that she doesn't read boards tbh!

    Office humilliation followed by internet humilliation... Nice!

    Give dressing up a go. I'd go as the guys from the Bounty ad, y'know the ones in big oul one dresses!?

    RRRR those bounty ladies are foxy!

    Seriously she didn't ask anyone at all? She dressed as a cat? Oh lord. Is she related to Zoolander? Dude, you really did a number there, it depends on her tbh. This could be laughed off, but if it was me I'd resent you until your dying day. Which I would arrange! I'd say leave it be man, you're not exactly on her trustworthy books!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    you blew it. She's 18, working with a load of older people (from the sounds of it). You humiliated her, and for a lot of 18 year old girls, image is everything. Sorry man. I'd say you've a small chance of her talking to you again, but going out with you? No chance at all I'd say.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Could be worse, she could have gone as wonder woman! :D

    Can't stop laughing at the thought of you turning up at work as a lion! :D

    I think flowers would be a very good idea, and treat her to lunch.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Off topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

    Please read the charter before posting.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey guys, thanks for your concern and advice.

    Spent another day getting the cold shoulder off the girl of my dreams, this is worse than I thought... I can't stop thinking about her, and how I've screwed everything up. I have no one to really talk to this about, because I don't want people knowing that I fancy her and for things to get even more awkward.

    For the people that doubt my story, and can't believe she never asked anybody else; to be honest I can scarcely believe it myself! When she turned up dressed as a cat I was the most shocked person in the pub! But before she left work on Tuesday, we were having a big discussion about the party and what we were going to wear. I am STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.

    All the ideas so far have been very good, I like the chocolates/flowers idea. However I REALLY like the dressing up idea. Friday is casual day at work, and I was thinking I might dress up as a dog to try and win back her affection? I'd have to go into town and get a really good costume for this to work. But by doing this, I can show her that I am really upset that I hurt her, and am willing to embarrass myself for her sake.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    I'd have to go into town and get a really good costume for this to work. But by doing this, I can show her that I am really upset that I hurt her, and am willing to embarrass myself for her sake.

    If it were me, I'd think you were taking the piss again. For what it's worth, I think this is a really bad idea.

    If I were you I'd just leave the girl alone. Maybe try apologise again in a few weeks, but I'd say anything you do between now and then is going to annoy her further.
    She has to get over it in her own time.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I like the lion idea! :D

    Definately treat her to lunch and flowers but I suggest you give her the flowers away from everyone. Invite her for a drink after work and do it then. :)

    It will blow over I am sure, she is bound to be upset - I would be but she will see the funny side at some point.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    All the ideas so far have been very good, I like the chocolates/flowers idea. However I REALLY like the dressing up idea. Friday is casual day at work, and I was thinking I might dress up as a dog to try and win back her affection? I'd have to go into town and get a really good costume for this to work. But by doing this, I can show her that I am really upset that I hurt her, and am willing to embarrass myself for her sake.

    all you're going to do is remind her what you did. And also, if you dress up to try to spare her feelings, it'll let everyone know how you feel. My advice, write her an email and leave it up to her. Seriously man, I know you feel bad, and I know you didn't think, but she feels a million times worse and she blames you. This isn't about what's best for you, it's now about what's best for her. And whats best for her is if everyone just forgets what she did. what you made her do.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    All the ideas so far have been very good, I like the chocolates/flowers idea. However I REALLY like the dressing up idea. Friday is casual day at work, and I was thinking I might dress up as a dog to try and win back her affection? I'd have to go into town and get a really good costume for this to work. But by doing this, I can show her that I am really upset that I hurt her, and am willing to embarrass myself for her sake.

    That'd only work if you were going out for drinks with the general populus after work!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    To be honest, I think if you HAVE to do something, send a mail to the office and say "the reason x came to the party in fancy dress was because I played a joke on her, I'm really sorry for embarrassing her". But I reckon that'd would be pretty inappropriate.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    You really need to figure out a way to regain this girls trust.

    I dont mean to sound crude but as she's doing some modelling as you've said there's bound to be plenty of interest in her from members of the opposite sex. I'm sure you can understand her being upset with you so maybe you should focus on trying to get her to trust you again. After all, if you dont have this she's never going to have you for a boyfriend. Rather than dressing up maybe it would be better to make some form of apology that will make her take notice.

    If you havent already told her how you feel then now's the time. Don't be afraid to let your feelings become public. Maybe you have your own reasons for this, but if its only down to the fact that you dont want anyone to know how you feel youre making a mistake. Theres always an element of risk involved in these things but she cant be expected to read your mind. Just come out with it. Put it in writing if you cant do it face to face


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    TBH..you're both idiots...

    In fact I think she is the bigger one.

    How in Gods name did she believe that it was a fancy dress without checking this with others in the office...I do not know one single woman who goes out without checking/running things by with other female colleagues...what planet does she live on...she sounds like a complete space cadet..:rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    TBH..you're both idiots...

    In fact I think she is the bigger one.

    How in Gods name did she believe that it was a fancy dress without checking this with others in the office...I do not know one single woman who goes out without checking/running things by with other female colleagues...what planet does she live on...she sounds like a complete space cadet..:rolleyes:

    Harsh words indeed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    orourkeda wrote: »
    Harsh words indeed.


    I could write a lot harsher only I would get banned...

    OP....for what it's worth I think she is the stupid one here..not you. So dont get too worried about making it up to her...she was dumb enough to believe it without double cheacking it out...its her problem..dont get all wimpy and pathetic by sucking up to her....you have a pair of balls?...Now use to them and put it behind you. She made an idiot of herself stop beating yourself up about it. You are only partially to blame for this.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Naive perhaps?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    I mean seriously...does anyone else here know a women who would turn up to a fancy dress:

    a. Without checking with other colleagues/women
    b. And then walks into a pub ON HER OWN...:confused:..in fancy dress.

    Come on...OP is being too harsh on himself here.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    TBH..you're both idiots...

    In fact I think she is the bigger one.

    How in Gods name did she believe that it was a fancy dress without checking this with others in the office...I do not know one single woman who goes out without checking/running things by with other female colleagues...what planet does she live on...she sounds like a complete space cadet..:rolleyes:

    she trusted him. She'd no reason not to. That's why it's such a huge betrayal.
    I mean seriously...does anyone else here know a women who would turn up to a fancy dress:

    a. Without checking with other colleagues/women
    b. And then walks into a pub ON HER OWN...:confused:..in fancy dress.

    Come on...OP is being too harsh on himself here.

    See, the thing is, you're looking to apportion blame. the blame is 100% on the side of the OP. What you say above is usually true, but if one of my friends told me something was happening, I wouldn't think for a second to doubt them. The only motive they would have for lying to me would be to make me look like a tit, and my friends are not like that. So yeah, if someone you don't trust tells you something, you'd check it out. All the OP has done is demonstrate that the girl he likes can't trust him. If he'd a history of pranking her, she should have checked it out, but even if she didn't, he'd still be a dick for doing it. Sorry OP.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    tbh wrote: »
    she trusted him. She'd no reason not to. That's why it's such a huge betrayal.

    Which is exactly why he needs to work on regaining her trust.


This discussion has been closed.
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