Crazy Work Encounters!

Same As

I'm not too sure if there is a thread about this already but over the last two weeks I've had two of the craziest experiences I've ever had in any of the jobs I've done over the years.At the moment I do a key holding job in Cork - basically if somebody gets locked out of their accomodation they ring me and I let them in; simple as that!

In the past two weeks though, I've had a fella chase a crowd of young lads out of our complex with a Meat Cleaver, resulting in a 12 man brawl on the main road outside the complex and then tonight a girl was assaulted with a screwdriver in our car park!??

Anyone else got crazy experiences they'd like to share?

Jesus Wept

Sounds like a handy job.

Same As

I thought so too when I took it, and it was for the first 9 months! I've heard of people being/going mad as March Hares but no such phrase/analogy for mentalists emerging in July?

Jesus Wept

As jumpy as a July Jackrabbit?

stepbar

Ah, shur you're lucky to have a job at all.....

<gets me coat>.............

Joe Cool

Recently during a film shoot where I was to chase a bunch of lads with a meat cleaver and end up in a 12 man brawl this bloke got into, and subsequently ruined, the shot. He was trying to open doors or something.

Was just crazy.

naasface

so do you hold the key to the city?

cool job

Same As

Joe Cool wrote: »

Recently during a film shoot where I was to chase a bunch of lads with a meat cleaver and end up in a 12 man brawl this bloke got into, and subsequently ruined, the shot. He was trying to open doors or something.

Was just crazy.

Lol, ya don't believe me?

I could barely believe it myself when I saw it, and No I was not on some crazy trippy Class A drugs at the time!

.... they were Class B's! :P

Super-Rush

Was gigging one night when someone threw a CS grenade into the pub.

Wurly

Same As wrote: »

Lol, ya don't believe me?

I could barely believe it myself when I saw it, and No I was not on some crazy trippy Class A drugs at the time!

.... they were Class B's! :P

Same As

naasface wrote: »

so do you hold the key to the city?

cool job

Yep, Im actually Bono.

Senna

Ok so you witnessed a brawl and heard about an stabbing, but still thats got to be the handiest job ever.

Same As

Yup, it's pretty handy to be fair!

Just wondering if any other AH peeps have had crazy experiences at work, I'm sure most will have had, would love to hear them!

Note: Job requires me to be up til all hours so just looking for a bit of "light"(hearted) reading! ( As if AH isn't enough in itself! )

Calibos

Same As wrote: »

I'm not too sure if there is a thread about this already but over the last two weeks I've had two of the craziest experiences I've ever had in any of the jobs I've done over the years.At the moment I do a key holding job in Cork - basically if somebody gets locked out of their accomodation they ring me and I let them in; simple as that!

In the past two weeks though, I've had a fella chase a crowd of young lads out of our complex with a Meat Cleaver, resulting in a 12 man brawl on the main road outside the complex and then tonight a girl was assaulted with a screwdriver in our car park!??

Anyone else got crazy experiences they'd like to share?

Chinese Fella or Traveller tbh

oisinmc14

crazy encounters - once a dude made a dump in the veg shop that i work in

tasty

Same As

Yep, he was Oriental alright!

oisinmc14 wrote: »

crazy encounters - once a dude made a dump in the veg shop that i work in

tasty

Mank!

ejmaztec

Calibos wrote: »

Chinese Fella or Traveller tbh

Sounds more like Gordon Ramsay.

JONJO THE MISER

How the hell did you get such a cushy job? Im always looking for a night time job as i hate getting outta bed before 3 in the afternoon, im awake at 2 but wait until joe duffy is over to get up:D

Same As

Got Lucky I guess! Handy out because my days are free!

CallMeMiss

I used to work in a large retail store. Once we had a bomb scare, had to evacuate the shop and then we, the managers were made look for the bomb along with the bomb squad. That was great fun!

Also had some guy do a sh1t in the dressing room another day. Lovely

drunkymonkey

Calibos wrote: »

Chinese Fella or Traveller tbh

why are you saying 'tbh' it doesn't make sense!?

generalmiaow

Years ago I worked in a well known supermarket in Dublin, and one day the head of "loss prevention" seemed over the moon about something. He told me that he had finally caught the two old fellows (65+) who occasionally come in and masturbate eachother onto the melons in the fruit section.

I didn't work in the grocery so I was shocked when everyone in there had already heard of the "melon men". There were a ton of garda cars that day. All the managers were trying to get everyone to keep quiet about it for obvious reasons. I don't know if it ended up in the papers or anything.

He always promised to show us the security footage but I left that job before he did. (for different reasons). Some of other the stuff he did show us (he was always saying he would make a DVD of it someday if he left) would make you never shop again, so I'm not surprised.

I guess they're gone, but I'm still not buying any melons from there.

**Timbuk2**

I'm a pilot. One person checked in as normal in the airport, but then in waiting for his plane got drunk and forgot about it. The flight was delayed 20 minutes looking for him - he seemed to not have a lot of knowledge about the fact he was going on a flight. In the end he was refused entry to the flight as he was drunk :rolleyes:

Apart from that nothing, my life is boring.

blue-army

generalmiaow wrote: »

Years ago I worked in a well known supermarket in Dublin, and one day the head of "loss prevention" seemed over the moon about something. He told me that he had finally caught the two old fellows (65+) who occasionally come in and masturbate eachother onto the melons in the fruit section.

I didn't work in the grocery so I was shocked when everyone in there had already heard of the "melon men". There were a ton of garda cars that day. All the managers were trying to get everyone to keep quiet about it for obvious reasons. I don't know if it ended up in the papers or anything.

He always promised to show us the security footage but I left that job before he did. (for different reasons). Some of other the stuff he did show us (he was always saying he would make a DVD of it someday if he left) would make you never shop again, so I'm not surprised.

I guess they're gone, but I'm still not buying any melons from there.

WTF!?! :eek:

shenanigans1982

Same As wrote: »

Got Lucky I guess! Handy out because my days are free!

When did people start doing this?

Dublin_Gunner

blue-army wrote: »

WTF!?! :eek:

And why the hell would you want to look at a video of two 'oul lads **** each other over melons (the fruit, not female appendages)?

Same As

shenanigans1982 wrote: »

When did people start doing this?

That's culchie speak I'm afraid, sorry if it offended you, those inside the Pale sometimes don't understand our dialect!

Mahou

oisinmc14 wrote: »

crazy encounters - once a dude made a dump in the veg shop that i work in
tasty

Someone started throwing peoples rubbish into your shop?

Einstein

i work in a shop...this old woman constantly keeps coming in and coming up to the counter and seems surprised that she's not in the chemist. "Ohh...Did the chemist move luv..?"
Happens at least 3 times a month..the chemist is next door.

Old people rock.

genericguy

Same As wrote: »

Yep, Im actually Bono.

key to the city isn't worth a **** then, cos you can't reach the keyhole.

Biggins

Same As wrote: »

...Anyone else got crazy experiences they'd like to share?

Once had a female workmate leave her office desk, go outside, jump into her car and then drive to our local river and threw herself in. True story.
Does that count as a crazy experience?

Dan Chipowski

Nothing much apart from the blonde sort who likes to get dressed at her apartment window across from my office window

AdamusAdonis

this one time i taught some woman how to use a file bar.

I'll go now.

LouOB

When working in part-time job years ago at fast-food place, a co-worker decided to show me his gun. He then went on to tell me he would go out shopping for womens clothes with 'friends' for a 'laugh'.
He was let go soon after

Afew months ago I came into work and found the the world in the financial toilet
crazy sh*t

Morzadec

A kid once took a poo in the bookstore where I work

mathie

Morzadec wrote: »

A kid once took a poo in the bookstore where I work

Did someone rob the 'k' and flip the 'b' downwards?

twanda

We had a bomb scare in work once aswell. Someone called reception and said there was a bomb in the building. The poor receptionist **** herself. We were told to leave the building and the immediate vicinity for a few hours. Queue stampede to the nearest pub:D
Was a hoax in the end - probably a disgruntled employee...or someone in the office who wanted to go for a few pints..

blue-army

mathie wrote: »

Did someone rob the 'k' and flip the 'b' downwards?

I'd doubt it. :rolleyes:

engrish?

mathie wrote: »

Did someone rob the 'k' and flip the 'b' downwards?

That made me want to go home. Screw this day, I'm tired.

engrish?

Einstein wrote: »

i work in a shop...this old woman constantly keeps coming in and coming up to the counter and seems surprised that she's not in the chemist. "Ohh...Did the chemist move luv..?"
Happens at least 3 times a month..the chemist is next door.

Old people rock.

Thats hilarious

krudler

I had a guy who wanted me to ring a "friend" for him (I was a mobile phone call centre worker) and ask if he'd fancy meeting up for some "gay fun" (his words not mine) later on, then couldnt seem to understand why I wouldnt make a booty call for him, he was dead serious as well, once he asked someone to send a text out to everyone on his phone contacts wishing them a "very gay christmas" I think this guy had only gay in the village syndrome, he even opened a call once with the phrase "My names Phillip and I'm homosexual"

the general public, fuelling crazy work stories forever

Tyler MacDurden

I popped into a car accessories shop to chat to a mate who worked there. Some minutes later, an elderly gentleman with an agricultural air about him* walks in. He shuffles around the shop looking confused for a bit, we put it down to being awestruck by the whole electricity fad.**

My buddy asks him if he needs help. "I want to get one of them fillums***", he says. I pull up a comfy seat. This promises to be entertaining.

He is told that the video store is next door, my friend points helpfully in its general direction, just to be sure.

The venerable gent**** grunts in a satisfied fashion, we take this as an indication of gratitude and understanding.

He then endeavours to walk through the wall.

In fairness, there was a barely discernable gap among the various wheel braces and fuzzy dice. But not even David Copperfield would launch himself at a solid wall with such vigour.

Newton's Third Law takes care of the rest, and he rebounds with a look of puzzlement on his craggy***** features. I have silently snotted myself in amusement. My mate's face looks set to spontaneously combust.

"Bastards must be closed", says the farmer, wobbling unsteadily into the sunset.




*Covered in the excrement of indeterminate livestock.
** It'll never catch on.
*** For our younger boardsies or foreign guests, this is Gaelic for DVD.
**** Crazed geriatric.
***** Grime-encrusted.

jigglywoo

Morzadec wrote: »

A kid once took a poo in the bookstore where I work

Was this poo available for purchase or did he steal it from a shelf?

AckwelFoley

Worked in a hardware store for 10 years...

the toilets in the bathroom showroom were always getting shat in by traveller kids...

I gota lunchtime bj from an office temp twice.. same temp..


I preferred the latter experience

generalmiaow

snyper wrote: »

Worked in a hardware store for 10 years...

the toilets in the bathroom showroom were always getting shat in by traveller kids...

I always wondered if people did that.

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

And why the hell would you want to look at a video of two 'oul lads **** each other over melons (the fruit, not female appendages)?

Well, morbid curiosity, and also so I would recognise them if they came into our part of the shop, the off licence, which is separate. I know it's harder to effectively **** on beer cans and wine bottles, but it would still be worth knowing who they were.

The shop is near a mental institution and a horrible nightclub so we always had to bar people for fighting, smoking, stealing and so on. One of whom was a one legged lunatic man who despite living directly across the road from the car park used to perform all of nature's functions without fail in the car park's big plant pots until he was permanently exiled.

Now that I think of it, there was also the family that would always try to steal a case of Beamish (24 x 500cl) every Thursday at 11:30. Since real people don't buy cans of Beamish, it was generally the same case and my 6'3 polish co-worker would always be waiting for them on the way out.

FlutterinBantam

CallMeMiss wrote: »

I used to work in a large retail store. Once we had a bomb scare, had to evacuate the shop and then we, the managers were made look for the bomb along with the bomb squad. That was great fun!

Also had some guy do a sh1t in the dressing room another day. Lovely

Dirty fcuker, that's terrible behaviour.

Armin_Tamzarian

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Dirty fcuker, that's terrible behaviour.

You think that's bad?
I once knew a bloke who got drunk at a BBQ and drank his own piss. :eek:

InkSlinger67

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

You think that's bad?
I once knew a bloke who got drunk at a BBQ and drank his own piss. :eek:

Way to keep a secret Armin! :mad:

You still owe me that bottle of Coke ya cnut! :pac: