Going out with somone who's unemployed

Volvoboy

Would this bother you?

A mate of mine has been trying to set me up with his burds mate for the last while, i got all thats to know about the girl some i liked and some i didnt.

The deciding factor was she didnt have a job the girl is 22 and living on the back of the state, she was in DCU dropped out and went from job to job for the last while after dropping out, she was applying for a assistant at a suit-hire place in Dundrum and backed out at the last while.

I know some people have been let go out of there jobs and thats fine, but would you go out with somone who's long time unemployed??

<moved to personal issues from ladies' lounge, unfortunately we don't allow youtube here>

SarahSassy

NO she sounds like a lazy spoilt brat... Cheek of her, when she has the opportunity to study or get a job, to be living off me... GRRRRRRR

Silverfish

Yeah, the fact that she COULD be studying or COULD be working and made a decision not to? Avoid Avoid Avoid.

Potential Princess Complex but by the time you find out, it's too late.

anucksunamun

The thing is though, you don't know this girl, you are judging her based on your friend and his g/f's opinions on why this girl is not working, ya know? she may have hated her course, and doesn't know what she wants to do, hence the changing around jobs. Not to be mean here, but if her job is SO important as to whether you would go out with her or not (since we all know a job is what defines us as a person...:rolleyes:) shes probably better off if ya dont ask her out imho, this thread doesnt show you in a very flattering light.

green dolphin

Volvoboy wrote: »

Would this bother you?

A mate of mine has been trying to set me up with his burds mate for the last while, i got all thats to know about the girl some i liked and some i didnt.

The deciding factor was she didnt have a job the girl is 22 and living on the back of the state, she was in DCU dropped out and went from job to job for the last while after dropping out, she was applying for a assistant at a suit-hire place in Dundrum and backed out at the last while.

I know some people have been let go out of there jobs and thats fine, but would you go out with somone who's long time unemployed??
<snip>

eh, what? either you're taking the piss or you picked up a completely different message from that tommy tiernan sketch than i did.

Volvoboy

green dolphin wrote: »

eh, what? either you're taking the piss or you picked up a completely different message from that tommy tiernan sketch than i did.

Sorry more ''Everyone has to be doing somthing'' bit than anything else, beit studying or working. Not very attractive to somone who lounges around the house all day waiting for Tuesday (payday).

Xiney

moved to personal issues

Mr Benevolent

Ah, yet another example of people who believe what they read in tabloids.

It's illogical to assume that someone who's on the dole is a useless layabout scrounging free money off the state. Do any of you understand what PRSI is for and how it's earned? I was let go because of the lack of work, and I look for jobs every day. I've earned my social welfare money and I will fall back on it when circumstances are dire. Being on th dole is not a sign of bad moral character, I'm the same person as I was before.

04KY

Unemployed person I could go out with, a taxi driver on the other hand....

Xiney

04KY, please have a read of the charter as unhelpful posts can earn you an infraction or a ban from the forum.

Ta,

Xiney

hobochris

Confab wrote: »

Ah, yet another example of people who believe what they read in tabloids.

It's illogical to assume that someone who's on the dole is a useless layabout scrounging free money off the state. Do any of you understand what PRSI is for and how it's earned? I was let go because of the lack of work, and I look for jobs every day. I've earned my social welfare money and I will fall back on it when circumstances are dire. Being on th dole is not a sign of bad moral character, I'm the same person as I was before.

The op is referring to someone on the dole who actively avoids finding work or taking up study. Not someone who is on the dole and seeking work. There is a BIG difference.

SarahSassy

Confab wrote: »

Ah, yet another example of people who believe what they read in tabloids.

It's illogical to assume that someone who's on the dole is a useless layabout scrounging free money off the state. Do any of you understand what PRSI is for and how it's earned? I was let go because of the lack of work, and I look for jobs every day. I've earned my social welfare money and I will fall back on it when circumstances are dire. Being on th dole is not a sign of bad moral character, I'm the same person as I was before.

Whoa down boy....

Did you read ANY of the previous posts???

She chose to be 'long-term' unemployed by giving up her college course and not going to job interviews even when they were set up for her. Different ball game so dont fall off that high horse there.

No, I wouldn't. She sounds very much like people I know who think college should be loads of fun all the time and drop out/change the first time they have difficulties, and think they are above doing 'menial' jobs. Basically the people who think the world owes them a living. Very annoying.

reprazant

anucksunamun wrote: »

The thing is though, you don't know this girl, you are judging her based on your friend and his g/f's opinions on why this girl is not working, ya know? she may have hated her course, and doesn't know what she wants to do, hence the changing around jobs. Not to be mean here, but if her job is SO important as to whether you would go out with her or not (since we all know a job is what defines us as a person...:rolleyes:) shes probably better off if ya dont ask her out imho, this thread doesnt show you in a very flattering light.

Tbf, that post doesn't show you in a good light.

It is not her job which is important but the fact that she refuses to get a job that is important. It would, in my opinion, show quite a major character flaw.

Lots of people don't know what they want to do, that does not stop them from working though. I fail to see how sitting around all day is going to help you discover what it is that you want to do with your life.

The Recliner

Galwaybob banned for a month for unhelpful posting

d'Oracle

Just gonna throw this in here....


With OPs issue, Im not sure I can offer much advice, bar than to say you should really be going with people you like, not your mates mate who stand up analysis.

Whilst some people are lazy, happy on the dole and all that, Its out of order to suggest this about someone who you don't know.

I was in a position of being unemployed for a good while, and sitting around messes with your head. Now possibly this girl dropped out because she really didn't like her course.

She could be lost and have no Idea what to do with her life.
She could be depressed, having no idea what way to go or how to get any sort of direction.
I have been in that situation and trust me, do it long enough listen to people talking about how you are lazy and your sense of self worth plummets.
Job prospects start to get truly terrifying.

Now this may not be the case at all, but OP didn't really give enough details to jump out and say "Lazy spoilt brat".

Its never just black and white.

skooterblue

I have dated someone similar with one extra complication, she had a smoking problem. Its not health being unemployed that way. My ex couldnt get a job in the height of the boom. Even a company who took convicts on day release.

I feel sorry for builders who have been left go, factory workers, financial workers but people who may not have the best circumstances and then get up and leave? This person will drag you down to her level. I dont care if she is the Queen of Sheba. You are probably better off without her

seamus

I have an acquaintance who's stuck with a girl who's long-term unemployed. She tried working once, "Didn't like it", so packed it in. He does his best to work (he has no qualifications) and find jobs if/when he loses them, and pays for pretty much everything for her. They live more-or-less in complete poverty because he pays for rent, food and everything else while she spends her dole on makeup. She also shags around and has other "rules" about what he can and can't do, but that's beside the point.

Yes, it's his own fault because he's completely besotted with this leech, but that's the kind of thing you face if you go out with someone who's a career scrounger. Someone who expects the state to look after them without making any attempt to help themselves, will by definition expect you to look after them if you have any amount of money. If they have no respect for themselves, how do you think they'll treat you? Avoid at all costs.

Affable

Being unemployed is not as simple as all that morally. There are some utter chancers, morally corrupt people and reprobates who are 'doing well for themselves' in social terms through no more than an eye to the main chance. Some people, l like someone said, get time to think and see through the hypocrisies and the machiavellianism of society. This becomes increasingly demotivating and can torment a person. Once you see careers as just going down a tramline so some other dickhead can judge you as worthy of respect when you never wanted it anyway, it's hard to do anything.

pwd

Would she want to go out with someone who posts this kinda crap?
You're trying to judge her on something like this without even meeting her. You're talking about meeting someone socially, not marrying them. You should be deciding what sort of person you think she is when you meet her, not trying to decide which box she fits into before you do.
Or are you that easily manipulated, that you can't even talk to someone before you make up your mind about them?

Fugly

It's impossible for us to tell you as we don't know her.

She may have dropped out as she wanted to try and figure out what she would like to do / may be a family issue or health. There are alot of "acceptable reasons" to drop out. Sometimes it's the best decision for that particular person.

She may want to work to earn money, grow up and find out what course she'd like to. You just never know! However if you'd prefer to listen to us rather than meet her and see for yourself, you both may be better off not meeting.

orourkeda

This is typical of modern Ireland. Basing whether to go out with someone on how much they earn rather than finding out what they are actually like. I'm becoming a divorce lawyer if this is the way everybody goes about trying to form a relationship.

Nobody can argue with the fact that are dole scroungers and lazebags who dont want to work but thats another issue.

yawnstretch

Could be wrong here but your nick seems familiar OP. Aren't you the mid-twenties dude who was living at home? Nobody's perfect.

If you're not into her cool, but if employment is a relationship criteria then what happens when your other half loses their job - breakup?

LegacyUser

Fugly wrote: »

It's impossible for us to tell you as we don't know her.

She may have dropped out as she wanted to try and figure out what she would like to do / may be a family issue or health. There are alot of "acceptable reasons" to drop out. Sometimes it's the best decision for that particular person.

She may want to work to earn money, grow up and find out what course she'd like to. You just never know! However if you'd prefer to listen to us rather than meet her and see for yourself, you both may be better off not meeting.

+1

Well said,

Op you seem a tad judgmental maybe she can do better than you, i am not working at the mo either, I have my own money and i am taking time out at the moment for no other reason but to have time with myself, My BF is very supportive of anything i want to do with my life,

Many people think that the definition of success is how rich you are, to me the definition of success is how successful you can be as a person, there are many different ways to live, a successful man is someone who is understanding to his partner and supportive, everyone is different.

Lux23

My boyfriend is unemployed and he is always broke but there are so many other things to our realtionship that its a small problem most of the time. You just have to avoid doing things that cost alot of money but that doesn't really bother me for now.

SarahSassy

Unregistered wrote: »

I have my own money

This sounds to be the main difference between you and her... She doesnt have her own money and rather than study or work she is willing to sponge off the rest of us... This makes my blood boil and this country to liberal and goody goody when it comes to allowing spongers to prosper.

LegacyUser

hi op,

i think your right to be concerned,,, i mean fair enough if she dropped out of college as she may have hated her course, but to turn down job, just to sit on dole is ridiculous... i dont think any of us would have a problem if someone was laid off and geniunely couldnt find work - but if she is just too lazy to get off her backside i wouldnt be bothered with her,,,

BaZmO*

She's 22 and long time unemployed? Does not compute!

You're only going on hearsay of what she's like. If you were to live your life on hearsay you'd never get anything done.

Why don't you just go on a date with her and she what she's like yourself, she may actually have valid reasons for being unemployed.

LegacyUser

BaZmO* wrote: »

She's 22 and long time unemployed? Does not compute!

You're only going on hearsay of what she's like. If you were to live your life on hearsay you'd never get anything done.

Why don't you just go on a date with her and she what she's like yourself, she may actually have valid reasons for being unemployed.

+ 1


You can't be long-term anything at 22!

Sorry OP, but you haven't even met this girl, you are judging someone you've never even met? And you're considering dating her? It all seems... well a bit anal of you to be honest.

I was 'longterm unemployed' at 22 (lol). A decade later, I was paying 20k per annum in tax. Thats quite a high figure for one person FYI. Two months ago I lost my job and I'm now on the dole again.
Try not to be so judgemental. You may close off a lot of opportunities for yourself.

And I wouldn't bother dating this girl. You're supposed to be open minded about meeting someone new. Excited even?

TBH you seem a bit odd. Why is this even an issue for you?