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Miscarriage - flowers suitable jesture?

  • 14-07-2009 1:52pm
    #1
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭


    My best friend is going through an awful time. She lost her first child a few years back during the birth and has just gone through a miscarriage. I bought her a voucher for a tree after her first baby and want to mark this second loss some way. She is at 9 weeks but I have known since early that she was pg.

    I was thinking 9 white or yellow roses.

    Are flowers a suitable condolence gesture in this instance?


Comments

  • #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I think you should get your friend flowers cos she's sad but not to mark the miscarriage.
    IT can be a very up setting and confusing time and it's hard to know if she will want to talk about it or not, some people got either way and some swing from one to the other.

    I would suggest getting her, her favourite flower for her own sake rather then as a tribute to the child that she miscarried.


  • #3
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    When my cousin miscarried I sent her flowers and I know they were appreciated.


  • #4
    Gabsdot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Gabsdot


    A few people I know including both my sisters and one SIL have experienced miscarriage. But the saddest was a good friend who lost the baby she had conceived through IVF. It was such a blow. I brought her some chocolate. Chocolate will always sheer you up a bit.
    so sorry for your friend.


  • #5
    PullOutMethod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 70 ✭✭PullOutMethod


    Never underestimate how tough a blow it is to both mother and father.
    Focus on spending time with your friend.
    Do something together (this is good occupational therapy) - but the same time listen, be a friend and let her grieve.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    you are a good friend.i had a miscarriage 6 weeks ago and no one including my own mother has since phones/texted.let alone sent flowers!!!!i feel so lonely wish i had friends like you


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  • #7
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    SarahSassy wrote: »

    I was thinking 9 white or yellow roses.

    Are flowers a suitable condolence gesture in this instance?

    Flowers are one thing but giving nine to mark the number of weeks gone would really not be appreciated by me were I in her position. I know you don’t mean it in this way, but I'd find that kind of ghoulish and inappropriate to be honest.


  • #8
    broken123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6 ✭broken123


    Hi as someone who has suffered 3 mc i think it is important to know that your friends are thinking of you - I would have like a little card from a friend along the lines of thinking of you at this difficult time. Not so sure on the 9 flowers - maybe keep note of the date and next year send a bunch of flowers - I found it so hard when the anniversary came up of my loss and no one remembered it at all.


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