It's over now

LegacyUser

Well, it's done. I've been working on my doctorate since 2001. Went through a litany of bad times, ended up in the previously unimaginable position of going to counselling. It was all easily the loneliest, most disheartening and alienating experience of my life. It didn't do anything for my confidence and self esteem. I needed to talk, but I've never felt right burdening anybody around me with it so counselling was great. I avoided all medication, despite my GP recommending it when I repeatedly told him how things were.

I had to get away from the isolation of the thesis so I applied for and got a permanent job in the civil service, intending to finish the PhD in the evenings and weekends. The job didn't work out as I still wanted to get the PhD but was spending more time than anticipated on the job. I had never walked away from anything before and it was the PhD or the permanent job. No contest: I left the job. Back doing the PhD since February 2007. Worked on it like I've never worked in my life. I really appreciated it much more having been away from it for a while. Submitted the finished thesis last winter, had the viva in spring and was awarded it subject to minor corrections. I finally got the report from the examiners back, made those corrections and handed the final, bound version of the thesis in today.

For years I had dreamt of this moment, of finding my quiet place out along the coast and trying to cry years of pain away on this day and start afresh. I'm just numb, though.

I don't even know what the purpose of this post is. I suppose I just want to type something into cyberspace and maybe somebody who is thinking of giving up something might stick at it just so that they can triumph over adversity and take that triumph with them through life. I know I should feel quietly and very privately satisfied, I know some day I will allow myself a bit of kindness for finally coming through this. But today, the day this unkind period of my life has finally ended, I don't actually feel any of these things.

Now, for the future.

lynsalot

Hi OP

Sounds like you're overwhelmed. It's a chapter of your life closing. You're bond to have a mixture of emotions.

Congraqtulations and well done for finishing the thesis and seeing it through. it takes so much commitment and you've done it. You should be so proud. Take some time off to enjoy it and let it sink in. Think about your options. You should celebrate with friends and family.

LegacyUser

Dúlagar wrote: »

Well, it's done. I've been working on my doctorate since 2001. Went through a litany of bad times, ended up in the previously unimaginable position of going to counselling. It was all easily the loneliest, most disheartening and alienating experience of my life. It didn't do anything for my confidence and self esteem. I needed to talk, but I've never felt right burdening anybody around me with it so counselling was great. I avoided all medication, despite my GP recommending it when I repeatedly told him how things were.

I had to get away from the isolation of the thesis so I applied for and got a permanent job in the civil service, intending to finish the PhD in the evenings and weekends. The job didn't work out as I still wanted to get the PhD but was spending more time than anticipated on the job. I had never walked away from anything before and it was the PhD or the permanent job. No contest: I left the job. Back doing the PhD since February 2007. Worked on it like I've never worked in my life. I really appreciated it much more having been away from it for a while. Submitted the finished thesis last winter, had the viva in spring and was awarded it subject to minor corrections. I finally got the report from the examiners back, made those corrections and handed the final, bound version of the thesis in today.

For years I had dreamt of this moment, of finding my quiet place out along the coast and trying to cry years of pain away on this day and start afresh. I'm just numb, though.

I don't even know what the purpose of this post is. I suppose I just want to type something into cyberspace and maybe somebody who is thinking of giving up something might stick at it just so that they can triumph over adversity and take that triumph with them through life. I know I should feel quietly and very privately satisfied, I know some day I will allow myself a bit of kindness for finally coming through this. But today, the day this unkind period of my life has finally ended, I don't actually feel any of these things.

Now, for the future.

Hi OP,

Fcukin well done dude!!

I know exactly how you feel. I had the same experience through my degree and went through hell, was seeing a therapist too and the emotional experience was just unbearable,everything was happing at once,drama with negative relationships past hrts it all came to the fore at the same time,

then when it was all over there was a massive anti climax, only thing i can assure you of is you will be reaping the benefits of this for the rest of your life, it took me a year though before my confidence came back and i digested everything, i now live a very simple stress-free great life, but i purposely made it that way after the years of stress i went through studying and under pressure,

Please take comfort and refuge in something you love doing now its over, sit in nature under a tree and feel the silence and wonder of the present moment, try and wind down in your favorite ways but be assured all the hard work is over, it is your time now to get the beauty of you reflected back to you, you deserve this well done!!!

Otis Driftwood

lynsalot wrote: »

Hi OP

Sounds like you're overwhelmed. It's a chapter of your life closing. You're bond to have a mixture of emotions.

Congraqtulations and well done for finishing the thesis and seeing it through. it takes so much commitment and you've done it. You should be so proud. Take some time off to enjoy it and let it sink in. Think about your options. You should celebrate with friends and family.

Agree 100% with this poster and just want to add my own congratulations to you.Well done.

Amazotheamazing

Congrats, well done, Doctor Dúlagar.

Think it's a usual enough feeling after something huge has just ended. It will take a bit of time to sink in.

Trinity

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Relish every moment of your hard work and sacrifice

Congratulations

CDfm

lynsalot wrote: »

Hi OP

Dr OP to you:D

All together now Happy PhD to you Happy PhD to you HAPPY PhD Dear Dr OP
Happy PhD to you.

What lynsalot said is true get together with family and friends and even email some of your ex work colleagues and tell them the news.

Congrats

rororoyourboat

Congratulations OP!

I can't really add to anything that has already been said, but I hope it was all worth it and that you'll take the time to relax, and then start up again with the next stage of your life when you're good and ready!

Comhgairdeas

jen_23

Well done OP.

That is certainly an achievment to be proud of! So as others have said shout it out to your nearest and dearest and have a little celebration.
Years of dedication need celebration

I was supposed to be doing a PhD but i found it too tough and am leaving this year with a masters instead. i couldn't dedicate the 5 years it would take to do here not to mention it's sometimes heartbreaking work!!!

So a very sincere well done and you should be so proud of your achievement!!!

Moomoo1

That's fantastic. And I know how it feels: I had problems with mine too. With me the problem was that I was failed by the examiners the first time round, so had to spend a long while re-submitting the whole thing.

Now you bind it and put it into a prominent place into your room, and try to get all your friends to read it.

fits

Well done OP!

I know exactly how you feel as I went through almost the very same myself. I am so glad I stuck with it and finished it though (I wouldnt blame anyone for not finishing either). I have had the most amazing times since I finally handed in too.

PM me if you want to chat about it.

LouOB

I love hearing stories like this
Education ftw

Similiar situation myself with 9years part-time study and full time work
Its emotionally hard but you came through it
I know it all feels like - what next
You have programmed yourself that way for the last 10+years
Time to start living rather than surviving

Time to get busy living
- trying so myself also, it hard trying to have fun

LegacyUser

Well done on a great achievement, i have being doing courses on and off the last 12 years ranging from degree to masters to professional law qualification to post graduate conversion course, iwhat your experiencing now is an anti climax, you need time off to recharge, I've always felt an anti climax after finishing courses, its like we re hooked on punishing ourselves to achieve the qualification and then when its over we re not accustomed to living without that "goal" or "job to do"
so well done, you just have to get used to living without a thesis hanging over you, it will take time to adapt to your new found freedom

metamorphosis

What a burden lifted it must be.

I have a friend who is close on 5 years now and she very recently had to take a break from it all. Very isolating, worrying like a you are been caved in on. She has a youn child to look after too. I really hope she gets the bastard done.

She is determined to finish. I know she will.

She has put me off ever going on to do a PHD.

I'm happy to hear your story.

Congratulations.

marthaclark

Wow.. firstly congratulations. I only hope I too will get there some day.

It sounds to me like there are still underlying issues.

I don't think a PhD can substitute for emotional fulfillment.

Don't kick yourself over it, you are now highly educated.

Perhaps now is the time to take the pedal off and focus on where you are emotionally.

Don't be so hard on yourself

CDfm

marthaclark wrote: »

I don't think a PhD can substitute for emotional fulfillment.

Don't kick yourself over it, you are now highly educated.

Perhaps now is the time to take the pedal off and focus on where you are emotionally

But I would bring my confering pics to the local paper first and flaunt it first- thats what people do and why not:D