Good dating site??

LegacyUser

Well I posted here recently enough just about dating as a 23 yr old single Mum. I had a boyfriend at the time but he never came to terms with me having a daughter...never even met my daughter in the 6 months we went out.
And now he's broken up with me because he doesn't want 'the hassle'.

I have no problems meeting guys but just can't make a relationship work. Being a single mother has been a repellent to 100% of the men I've been involved with. So today I just decided enough is enough. I don't think my confidence will survive many more rejections & I'm not going to put up with any more boyfriends who talk about my daughter like she's some kind of 'burden' that they're struggling to deal with.

So I think a dating site is the best way for me to meet men. Anyone who contacts me will know what theyre getting into.
So any reccommendations of good dating sites? Or tips? I don't even know where to start. Actually feel really nervous for some reason!

Acoustic

just beware of the sites also . yes you will get men mailing you knowing your a single mum , but some will be after 1 thing and tell you whatever u want to hear so be wary

all the best

LegacyUser

Yeah I know what you mean. Just had a look there at some dating sites. Don't think it's really for me...that idea didn't last long!

It's just a bit of a difficult situation. Most men I meet through friends or on nights out so they don't know about my daughter when we first make contact.
It's not something I hide but it's difficult for it to come up naturally in conversation during the first meeting. So it normally comes up on the 2nd date. At this point the guy either cuts contact immediately or decides to give it ago even though he would never have gone near me if he'd known my situation before meeting me - and inevitably, after a few weeks/months he decides not to bother anymore.

If people knew about her before we got involved I'd be less exposed to this kind of rejection. But I don't know what to do ?!

Carlow52

Unregistered wrote: »

Well I posted here recently enough just about dating as a 23 yr old single Mum. I had a boyfriend at the time but he never came to terms with me having a daughter...never even met my daughter in the 6 months we went out.
And now he's broken up with me because he doesn't want 'the hassle'.

I have no problems meeting guys but just can't make a relationship work. Being a single mother has been a repellent to 100% of the men I've been involved with. So today I just decided enough is enough. I don't think my confidence will survive many more rejections & I'm not going to put up with any more boyfriends who talk about my daughter like she's some kind of 'burden' that they're struggling to deal with.

So I think a dating site is the best way for me to meet men. Anyone who contacts me will know what theyre getting into.
So any reccommendations of good dating sites? Or tips? I don't even know where to start. Actually feel really nervous for some reason!

Stick with it as the problem is not yours, it will work out in time.

Am wary of dating sites

thefeatheredcat

OP, I'm actually kind of glad you're not going down the dating site route.... I was going to post earlier, but didn't know what to say.

Do be wary of dating sites, there's a lot of fake people out there who may not have good intentions, especially knowing you're a single mum....

In saying that, you could meet some decent folk too.

As for men not being able to deal with you having a daughter, that's really their issue, not yours. They probably get scared off with the responsibility and 'playing daddy' even though that's obviously not your intention of having them play that role. They will realise that your daughter will always come first, and they second, so probably figure out that you're not going to be heading out easily or at short notice.

Don't be put off though - there's always some nice fella out there!

I would be upfront about them knowing you have a daughter on first meeting or first date.

And there's bound to be a good few single dads around too - have you tried some parenting groups in your local area? Is your daughter of school going age yet? If you're going to creches or schools, that's a good start! If your daughter's a little older and involved in different social activities, you could meet someone through that. Failing all that, there's bound to be friends or family of people you meet who aren't so scared off my a single mum!

Hope that's of some help - and there's always plenty of support in single parents groups who are facing similar situations.

LegacyUser

aww come on op theres a great free dating website called plentyoffish.com its totally free and has loads of members in Ireland, come on over.

LegacyUser

Any man that think you having a daughter is a 'hassle' is not worth one second of your time...

There are plenty of lovely guys out there who would see this as a big plus...

Dating sites are fine as long as you are extremely careful..extremely..they are full of players so you need to be able to spot them.. don't be too quick in getting in touch by phone...suss them all out a wee bit first..

I have a daughter and have just met a fab lady that has THREE kids...its certainly no hassle..she's a fantastic mum and having the kids simply means we have to 'work around' them..it's not an issue as I think she's lovely and hence the kids are part of the 'package'....I met her on a dating website too :-)

So stick with it...you're very young..who knows but around the next corner is some guy who will love you for you...a young mum...

skooterblue

The great thing about free dating sites is that it is FREE, the Problem with free dating site is that they are FREE. If they are free along with good genuine guys you also get the rabble, time wasters and cock artists.

A small fee of €50 euro per quarter seems to sort the wheat from the chaff or chav, so to speak. Dont knock internet dating it makes the second step way easier in the dating game, because you get to meet people who genuinely want to meet you. Stay away from the seedier site and more towards the wholesome ones with photos. Photos do expose you but do expose that you are serious about meeting someone

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies.
featheredcat - funny you should mention meeting men through playgroups. Just dropped her up to her first day at camp yesterday & got chatting to a great looking dad...was straining my eyes to check out his wedding ring finger without him noticing!
Someone who also has a kid would be ideal - think there'd be a much better understanding between us.

Think my problem is where I meet these men - my last 5 relationships started in nightclubs...

Thanks for the advice anyway.
Think I'm going to take time out from the dating scene for the moment. Going to stop worrying about finding someone and just enjoy being single. My emotions were just all over the place yesterday after being dumped for the millionth time!

thefeatheredcat

OP,

Well, there you go, there's a new outlet for you and you never know what could happen!
As for checking for rings..... sometimes that can be deceptive...may be in a LT relationship but not married. Perhaps at the end of camp, have a chat to the guy if he's there again and see what happens. If he's not there, I'm sure your daughter will have made friends and hey, you never know.

Keep your options open and just go with the flow.

Best take a change from nightclubs and find yourself a new scene as there's plenty of other places you can meet both new friends and that special someone.

Go out there and have a little fun for yourself

LegacyUser

OP, I just came across this page while doing some searching for myself, I've no kids myself but am fed up trying to meet people in clubs etc. As a lad meself, I was worried about coming across as one of those type of lads that the girls above seem to be, I'm just hoping that all girls don't think these sites are full of wasters.

Miss Fluff

I still think you should give plentyoffish a go, not every single person on there is a weirdo, that's ridiculous. Why don't you spend a few weeks, by that I mean 3-6 weeks, emailing/MSNing and then if you decide to meet up, the other person will know lots about you and you will have had time to suss them out too. I really think you should go for it OP. Personally speaking and through friends I know there are some REALLY decent men (and women!) on there so I don't think you have anything to lose and it sure beats repeating the pattern over and over again of meeting someone you like and having them disregard you as soon as they know you have a little 'un.

Zascar

www.plentyoffish.com and www.connectingsingles.com are the best free ones

LegacyUser

Hm...k well I'm not expecting anything but I'll give it a go on plentyoffish for 3 weeks and report back on my success/failure!