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Wow - Things HAVE changed! Yikes!

  • 12-07-2009 6:37pm
    #1
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭


    The (English) NHS is telling pupils they have a 'right' to an enjoyable sex life in a leaflet being sent to schools.
    It encourages them to consider an 'orgasm a day' as a way reduce the risk of heart attacks and stroke.
    And if they can't get sex, the leaflet says children should consider masturbation.

    Source: Here

    All I can say is, ruddy heck! Things have really progressed! :pac:


«1

Comments

  • #2
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Jeeze, how did they pull that one off?


  • #3
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,070 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeDTX5Fu5zU


  • #4
    Mrmoe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,215 ✭✭✭Mrmoe


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    Jeeze, how did they pull that one off?

    It's a stroke of genius.


  • #5
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Can't wait to see how the Christian Brothers schools might try and introduce that one!


  • #6
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,754 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    All a plot to reduce crime.

    Mastubation makes you tired, and tired kids don't commit crimes. **** your way to peace. Simple, really.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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  • #7
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Itll also boost the job market for midwives.


  • #8
    Whosbetter?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,051 ✭✭✭Whosbetter?


    Pupils are Boning-up on the subject as we speak.:D:D


  • #9
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    It's very seldom I'm proud to be English.


    BRB; off to get my 5 1 a day


  • #10
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    I can see the numbers for Biology classes increasing.


  • #11
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Whatever happened to the good old days when we were worried about going blind and getting hairy palms.


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  • #12
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    <>Insert masturbation pun here <>


  • #13
    jumpguy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    A **** a day keeps the doctor away. :D


  • #14
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    The (English) NHS is telling pupils they have a 'right' to an enjoyable sex life in a leaflet being sent to schools.
    It encourages them to consider an 'orgasm a day' as a way reduce the risk of heart attacks and stroke.
    And if they can't get sex, the leaflet says children should consider masturbation.

    I'm going to live forever


  • #15
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    They already started by showing porn flicks in US


  • #16
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    So, is it ok now to call English kids ****?:D


  • #17
    Whosbetter?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,051 ✭✭✭Whosbetter?


    Could be a bone of contentoin though....


  • #18
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    galwayrush wrote: »
    So, is it ok now to call English kids ****?:D

    :pac:


  • #19
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    galwayrush wrote: »
    So, is it ok now to call English kids ****?:D

    The rest of us will just have to cum out of the closet! :D


  • #20
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    This'll be fun to bring up in R.E next week :D


  • #21
    ScumLord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    Are students really all that at risk or stroke and heart attack?


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  • #22
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Biggins wrote: »
    The rest of us will just have to cum out of the closet! :D

    Ahh,back in the day when i was in school, the kid that got caught **** by a teacher and about 30 girls from the volley ball team has finally been vindicated.;)


  • #23
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Biggins wrote: »
    Can't wait to see how the Christian Brothers schools might try and introduce that one!

    There will be an oral exam on the subject of course.


  • #24
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    ScumLord wrote: »
    Are students really all that at risk or stroke and heart attack?

    Don't know about the second but I'd say they all or a lot have strokes at least once a week. :D


  • #25
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,230 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    super-rush wrote: »
    I'm going to live forever


    Unless you die from exhaustion:eek:


  • #26
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    brummytom wrote: »
    This'll be fun to bring up in R.E next week :D

    Shut up wanker
    ejmaztec wrote: »
    Unless you die from exhaustion:eek:

    Damn foiled again.


  • #27
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    galwayrush wrote: »
    So, is it ok now to call English kids ****?:D


    :(


  • #28
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    super-rush wrote: »
    Shut up wanker

    :(:(:(
    If I didn't masturbate as much as I do then I'd be very offended.


  • #29
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    brummytom wrote: »
    :(:(:(
    If I didn't masturbate as much as I do then I'd be very offended.

    Admitting it is the first step to recovery


  • #30
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    ...as a way reduce the risk of heart attacks and stroke.
    I can hear a song in my head going "Who wants to live for everrrrr..." by Queen.
    Conner McCloud, is that really a sword in your hand?


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  • #31
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    super-rush wrote: »
    Admitting it is the first step to recovery

    First step done; now I s'pose I have to chop my hands off?


  • #32
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    brummytom wrote: »
    First step done; now I s'pose I have to chop my hands off?

    Not your hands, no.


  • #33
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    I can just see it, Tommy goes to the toilets to have his orgasm and he's late getting back.

    Teacher " TOMMY!!!"


    Tommy: " COMING!!!!!!!"


  • #34
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Not your hands, no.

    Foiled again...will this day never end

    See what she said:rolleyes:


  • #35
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    I can just see it, Tommy goes to the toilets to have his orgasm and he's late getting back.

    Teacher " TOMMY!!!"


    Tommy: " COMING!!!!!!!"

    Replace the word Teacher with Mother (who was a teacher :/) and that's actually a common occurance; no joke.
    She must think I have problems going to the toilet :o


  • #36
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    brummytom wrote: »
    Replace the word Teacher with Mother (who was a teacher :/) and that's actually a common occurance; no joke.
    She must think I have problems going to the toilet :o

    I'd say she guessed you were finding it hard.:pac:


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  • #37
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Biggins wrote: »
    I can hear a song in my head going "Who wants to live for everrrrr..." by Queen.
    Conner McCloud, is that really a sword in your hand?

    I'm imagining Sean Connery's dialogue:

    "Shurrender Kurgon or I shall chop off your head. Well, it'sh that or decapitassshhhhion."

    "That wasn't the kind of quickening I was expecting."


  • #38
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    I'd say she guessed you were finding it hard.:pac:

    I think she knows whats going on tbh but doesn't have the heart to say anything.

    I had to literally fight her to stop her looking at my laptop once; which just happened to freeze and need to be restarted when she needed it (it was hers....) :o


  • #39
    aligator_am
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,598 ✭✭✭aligator_am


    Biggins wrote: »
    Can't wait to see how the Christian Brothers schools might try and introduce that one!

    They would probably pass out the leaflets to the Brothers only ;)


  • #40
    Daroxtar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,368 ✭✭✭Daroxtar


    W*nking has several health benefits, for a start it definately improves your hearing


  • #41
    Bonavox
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,713 ✭✭✭Bonavox


    How can it reduce the stroke rate?

    Surely that would go through the roof!


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  • #42
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,110 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    super-rush wrote: »
    I'm going to live forever

    Now every time I hear that line in the song, I'll have interesting thoughts...


  • #43
    [Jackass]
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,193 ✭✭✭[Jackass]


    They'll be going hand over fist to impliment this one.


  • #44
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    vflhp wrote: »
    How can it reduce the stroke rate?

    Surely that would go through the roof!


    Cardio works out your heart and your body, by keeping this up you reduce the odds of having heart problems, one other thing - just don't eat shyte all the time, simple as.


  • #45
    In All Fairness
    Closed Accounts Posts: 515 ✭✭✭In All Fairness


    \ Throws Flora Pro-Activ in the bin and starts "buttering toast" furiously.


  • #46
    Porkpie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 717 ✭✭✭Porkpie


    "Timmy, do you need a hand with your homework?"

    "No, and I'm fine with the other thing too"


  • #47
    Permabear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


  • #48
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    This thread came already.;)


  • #49
    Sulmac
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,021 ✭✭✭Sulmac


    galwayrush wrote: »
    This thread came already.;)

    But that was yesterday.

    It needs to come at least once a day. :pac:


  • #50
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Sulmac wrote: »
    But that was yesterday.

    It needs to come at least once a day. :pac:

    HAHAHA Excellent:D:D:D

    Linky http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055619077


  • #51
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Saw that in a newspaper today .......like LOL :D


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