Am i being sexually harrassed?

sour_apple

Where can i possibly go for some help regarding a man i work with which makes comments that really make me feel uneasy and grossed out?

I posted here a few months back as an anoymous poster with the same problem. I probably should have went to HR but i am someone who hates complaining and this man has young kids at home so if he loses his job, it won't make feel any better.

This has been going on quite some time now but i ignored him for the past 6 months unless if i was working with him. During this 6 months, i would only speak to him if it was work related. He got the hint.

These were just a couple of the things he used to say before i started to ignore him 6 months ago:

He will always come out and start with something fairly easy. I have my driving test done for a while now and he will ask me what the test was like. Did i have to do a hill start? 3 point turn? And what not? I mean, he knows what's its like cause its him asking me did i do this and that. But he will always end his talk with, was it a male tester? Did you fancy him? Did you kiss him? You had the tester in your car for hour, where did you go? Was it to the beach?

Another one of his favourites is he talks about other men in work that are desperately single and talks about them giving me babies.
I get on great with a group of people in work that has a few lads in the group. If we have a night out, he will always end up saying, thats how babies are made. It doesn't matter what we do, everything always ends up as thats how babies are made.

Another one of his favourites, have i seen a grown man naked?

There has been more but i forgot them. I have never answered any of his questions but maybe i shouldn't have laughed at them when he first came out with his carry on.

So after 6 months of ignoring him i thought i would give him another chance. It does take real effort to be so bitchy as to pretend someone isn't there, and i just couldn't put up with the bad atmosphere around us. I thought after 6 months he would have have copped on but he has started it up again. But only with the driving test talk. I probably only have to give it time before he starts the rest of it up again.

Would this kind of thing be classified as harassment? Should i have a word with him? And only for him to say, i was only asking you about your test? To spend 2 years asking someone about their driving test is a bit too much. But i do believe, he only asks me so he can ask me perverted questions. I have no proof as its always when we are alone. He doesn't start his talk with me when others are around. So its my word against his.

Im not sure if this is classified as harrassment? Should i keep a diary with all the details? Or what's the best way of dealing with this? I would like to take the balls of him so he would stop thinking with them.

MagicMarker

Either speak to someone higher up about this or just leave, posting on boards every 6 months obviously isn't helping you, I'm sure the answers you get to this thread will be the same as what you got for the last.

Jo King

When he does it next, take up your mobile phone and make a recording. The time after take out your phone and play it back and say " we have had this conversation before, surely an intelligent man like you can think of something original once in a while?"

the_syco

sour_apple wrote: »

Should i have a word with him?

Absolutely not! If you do, he could goto HR first, and make a complaint about you first, and then you wouldn't have a leg to stand on, and he could keep at it.

DundalkDuffman

sour_apple wrote: »

Another one of his favourites, have i seen a grown man naked?

That is a quote from the movie Airplane!
If I were in your position I would be keeping a diary of times and incidents and mention to one of your coworkers in case down the line it has to go further. Good luck with it, a very unpleasant position to be in.

Tails142

Sounds like he's just trying to be funny and the fact that you're laughing (or you were at the start) makes him think your into him.

BTW, have you?

doolox

Although it is inevitable, personal relationships at work are fraught with difficulties and opportunities for painfully embarrasing situations and should be avoided at all costs.
Such men as your colleague are sexually immature and unsure of themselves and resort to this kind of nonsense to bolster their fragile egos and make themselves look like big hard men.........

Take note of all the stuff he says and take it up with your boss and HR if you have a HR dept.

Women are well protected from this nonsense nowadays and shouldn't have to put up with it but you do need hard data, facts and dates so make a note of everything and don't be vague or it will weaken your case.

AARRRGH

Talk to HR about how to handle the situation. Do this today, don't put if off another 6 months.

granturismo

If you go to HR, its unlikely he will be fired. He will probably be given a first verbal warning, so he has two more chances.

For your own sake do something.