Is it too late?

LegacyUser

Im 29 male, I have this reoccurring theme in my life, I meet someone who I like, chat them up and kiss them, get their phone number, but that's where it ends for me.

For some reason I hate contacting people, I put it off and put it off until its too late.

The weird thing is that I have absolutely no problems in approaching women, I would consider myself good looking and rarely have problems in clicking with people I am attracted too.

My fear is that when I call or text a girl that it has moved onto a different level, I get nervous about people getting to know the real me. I don't have anything in common with women I meet. Its fine for one night, but on the whole I have never met a woman who shares the same interests as me.

Anyway on to my question, about 2 weeks ago I hooked up with this very pretty girl but once again I didn't pursue it. So now two weeks have gone by and I think its too late to contact her. We did click, but the idea of having to get into some courtship is not a pleasant one to me. I would prefer to avoid this part completely.

Any advice would be nice, but specifically what should I do about this girl, and how can I get over my problem.

Thx

Mr Benevolent

We did click, but the idea of having to get into some courtship is not a pleasant one to me. I would prefer to avoid this part completely.

If you're happy with one night of sex, that's fine. Sounds like you just like the chase. That's cool too. Personally I'd get bored of that very quickly, but it takes all sorts. First time sex is generally a bit crap compared to sex after you know each other a few months. Have you ever had a relationship that lasted longer than 4 months?

What's wrong with the real you that's so bad? Just call her for feck's sake. Two weeks isn't that long. They're not going to kill you. Man up and go for it. I guarantee you'll enjoy it. And stop looking at women purely in terms of sex, it's not useful for you.

Finally, the term 'courtship' went out of use 40 years ago. Nobody courts any more. Relax.

VaioCruiser

TheNoneCom wrote: »

Im 29 male, I have this reoccurring theme in my life, I meet someone who I like, chat them up and kiss them, get their phone number, but that's where it ends for me.

For some reason I hate contacting people, I put it off and put it off until its too late.

The weird thing is that I have absolutely no problems in approaching women, I would consider myself good looking and rarely have problems in clicking with people I am attracted too.

My fear is that when I call or text a girl that it has moved onto a different level, I get nervous about people getting to know the real me. I don't have anything in common with women I meet. Its fine for one night, but on the whole I have never met a woman who shares the same interests as me.

Anyway on to my question, about 2 weeks ago I hooked up with this very pretty girl but once again I didn't pursue it. So now two weeks have gone by and I think its too late to contact her. We did click, but the idea of having to get into some courtship is not a pleasant one to me. I would prefer to avoid this part completely.

Any advice would be nice, but specifically what should I do about this girl, and how can I get over my problem.

Thx

You won't be ready to open up to someone else until you have come to terms with yourself. You need to see good in yourself, to learn to love yourself before you will feel comfortable with others.

All the best.

loloray

TheNoneCom wrote: »

Im 29 male, I have this reoccurring theme in my life, I meet someone who I like, chat them up and kiss them, get their phone number, but that's where it ends for me.

For some reason I hate contacting people, I put it off and put it off until its too late.

The weird thing is that I have absolutely no problems in approaching women, I would consider myself good looking and rarely have problems in clicking with people I am attracted too.

My fear is that when I call or text a girl that it has moved onto a different level, I get nervous about people getting to know the real me. I don't have anything in common with women I meet. Its fine for one night, but on the whole I have never met a woman who shares the same interests as me.

Anyway on to my question, about 2 weeks ago I hooked up with this very pretty girl but once again I didn't pursue it. So now two weeks have gone by and I think its too late to contact her. We did click, but the idea of having to get into some courtship is not a pleasant one to me. I would prefer to avoid this part completely.

Any advice would be nice, but specifically what should I do about this girl, and how can I get over my problem.

Thx

Do you have friends?

LegacyUser

VaioCruiser wrote: »

You won't be ready to open up to someone else until you have come to terms with yourself. You need to see good in yourself, to learn to love yourself before you will feel comfortable with others.

All the best.

I do like myself, I just have interest well outside the norm of any female, Quantum Physics and what not. Most of the time when I talk to someone outside my group of friends they don't have a clue what I am talking about. I have a very technical job on top of that which constitutes most of my everyday conversation. With out meaning to be rude, most of the girls I am attracted to ain't too bright

Otis Driftwood

I wouldnt worry about it mate.I have interests that the vast majority of people think are odd but if you arent giving females a chance you will never know.

You mentioned you are into science.

Correct me if Im wrong but if you are chatting someone up you are not going to tell them everything about yourself and neither will they.

You could be missing out on opportunities simply because you think they wont be into the same things.

Its damn near impossible to guage someone in a nightclub/bar setting.

As for the girl from 2 weeks ago,why wouldnt you contact her.If you think you have left it too long just tell her you were up the walls busy at work and ask if she would like to hook up for a coffee or something.

You never know until you put yourself out there.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Hi.
I'm a 29 year old female who feels the exact same as you do. I'm afraid that once the person gets to know me, that I will not be who they will think I will be. I mean that I am a chatty person when I am out and can mix well but if I was with one person the whole time I'd be wondering do they think I am boring. I can be very quiet at times and find it hard to know what to talk about. I'd be very conscious of how people react to me. I don't like letting people get too close. I have a good job as well and I love it.

I'm not into relationships/courtships either but a few weeks ago I kissed a fella and we swapped numbers. He rang the next day to ask me out. I had a little panic attack but I said to myself "Feic it" so I said I would meet him. We spent the whole night chatting about different things. I told him I wasn't looking for anything serious at the minute and want to take things easy. I don't feel "tied down" which I hate.

So I think you should give the girl a call and ask her for a date, as nedtheshed said just tell her you were flat out with work etc and ask her to meet up.

I took the chance with the fella I met and do you know what its going well and we have loads to talk about. If you don't give it a go you'll never know and you have nothing to lose.
Just ask her, two weeks is not that long. Good luck

LegacyUser

TheNoneCom wrote: »

I just have interest well outside the norm of any female, Quantum Physics and what not.

Eh, who says that women can't be interested in quantum physics?

TheNoneCom wrote: »

With out meaning to be rude, most of the girls I am attracted to ain't too bright

How can you possibly start that sentence with 'without meaning to be rude'? There is no way anybody could construe that as anything BUT rude.


Why not try to find a girl who does share your interests (highbrow as they are) and then maybe you will want to get to know her better.

In the meantime, maybe you are doing these women a favour by not calling them back.

LegacyUser

I had to laugh when I read your post OP. That sounds like me you were talking to! I'm a 29 year old female who gave a v cute guy her number while out about 2 weeks ago. I haven't heard anything from him since and I'll be honest with you, I'm a little disappointed and puzzled. Still...if I heard from him now, I'd prob still respond but he'd have to offer a damn good excuse for waiting 2 weeks!! I have his number too (as he rang my number when I gave him mine) but I think the bottom line here is if he thought I was hot enough he'd have contacted me by now. So be it.

As a motiviation for you to make a move; the best sex you'll ever have is with indeed with someone you like and have some kind of a connection with, even if only takes a couple of dates to establish. And don't consider yourself so lofty as to think the women won't be able to hold their own with you conversationally. You might find they have a thing or two to teach you too. I know of plenty of people who I find incredibly boring and self-absorbed who are deliriously happy with their partners. Clearly their partners find them fascinating. Likewise there are many people I find interesting, funny and intelligent and who I would consider to be a great potential partner - and these people are SINGLE. My point being - there are many people that could find you just right