Need Some Advice

Satinknickers

Hey Guys,

Just looking for some advice, ive been going out with my girlfriend for five years, shes pretty open minded and ive been hiding a secret from her since we first start dating, the thing is i have a thing for wearing womans lingerie, dont know why but i feel like im cheating on her at the minute because i havent told her, if i did how do you think she would react? How big a deal would it be for you?

Thanks!

messygirl

she wont be thrilled but if my boyf turned around and told me he liked wearing lingerie i wouldnt have a problem, its harmless and doesnt involve anyone else, nothing wrong with it at the end of the day.

If you are living with her it will likely come out, so it might be better to sit her down and explain gently, maybe google and print off some stuff for her to look at to explain what exactly it is and how it is harmless.

One thing though, women talk to their friends, she may want to talk to her friends about this so make sure she isnt the gossiping type and tell other people.

kittenkiller

Better you tell her openly than she finds some of your pieces and assumes you've had someone else around to the house!

Best of luck.

Satinknickers

Well i dont have any of my own stuff, i usually borrow hers, i know i should tell her before she finds out i just dont know how to approach the situation!

kittenkiller

Ok, at least that's one less worry.

Maybe say that you were talking with the lads in the office about it and see what she thinks.
It might also be useful to plant a "They seem to think each to their own/What happens behind closed doors is no one else's concern" statement into the end of the chat.

Do you want to carry on without her involvement or are you hoping to include her in the fun?
I can't see her having a problem if it's something you want to do on your own.
You're real issue will be if you want to have her join in I'd say.

Satinknickers

Well i suppose it would be nice to have her join in, join in as in the two of us just dressing up and then well you know your self, apart from that im not looking to do anything weird or really out there!

As i said she is very open minded but its just me getting the guts up to tell her!

messygirl

you need a few things to tell her this:
#safe place (not the bedroom, try the sitting room or kitchen)
#make sure she is relaxed, some lazy saturday afternoon and she isnt stressed re work or anything,
#say something is on my mind and its something i need to tell you (not trying to sound manipulative but she will probably be so relieved you havent cheated it might male things easier!)
#tell her you love her and want her to know that you feel she should know at this stage
#sometimes when im alone i like to wear womens lingerie
#i would actually buy some of your own stuff, i would be less thrilled to find out that my oh was stretching my expensive silk panties (being honest not trying to be mean)

I would appreciate honesty and upfront rather than any more hiding, speaking from a girls persepctive. She will be more hurt if you keep it from her and it is likely she WILL find out!

Best of luck and dont worry, keep calm and rational and open minded and listen to anything she has to say, if you feel a fight about to start take a step back and maybe ask if ye can go for a walk?

Oh The Humanity

Hi OP,

Well done on planning to include your girl in this harmless fetish. There is nothing wrong with it. If my BF told me about something like this I would be very amused and happy to let him enjoy himself in this way!

If she is very open minded, that bodes well. How about the two of you having a game of 'truth or dare' with a few drinks to relax you both.

You never know she could have some saucy secrets herself!!!

Best of luck !!!

Satinknickers

Sounds like a plan i just hope it works out like i can picture it in my head! I suppose the main thing is its just a harmless fetish, its not like im going to a dungeon to get shocked and beaten for an hour:)

Yeah her La senza knickers can be expensive but i havent ruined anything yet!

Im also curious? Is this thing that im into, well is it common?

ncmc

messygirl wrote: »

you need a few things to tell her this:
#safe place (not the bedroom, try the sitting room or kitchen)
#make sure she is relaxed, some lazy saturday afternoon and she isnt stressed re work or anything,
#say something is on my mind and its something i need to tell you (not trying to sound manipulative but she will probably be so relieved you havent cheated it might male things easier!)
#tell her you love her and want her to know that you feel she should know at this stage
#sometimes when im alone i like to wear womens lingerie
#i would actually buy some of your own stuff, i would be less thrilled to find out that my oh was stretching my expensive silk panties (being honest not trying to be mean)

I would appreciate honesty and upfront rather than any more hiding, speaking from a girls persepctive. She will be more hurt if you keep it from her and it is likely she WILL find out!

Best of luck and dont worry, keep calm and rational and open minded and listen to anything she has to say, if you feel a fight about to start take a step back and maybe ask if ye can go for a walk?

Top post Messygirl!

messygirl

Aw thanks! spend way too much time on this in work!

I say its like cheating, a lot more people do it than is let on! No one admits it because it is taboo but they still do it or want to or have done, nothing wrong with it.

Satinknickers

Thanks for the help Messygirl!:)

Il let you know how i get on! If im single on Monday it means it didnt go well!:)

Actually that would be worse case scenario as my lingerie supply would be totally cut off haha

LegacyUser

OP, my boyfriend told me he likes to wear ladies lingerie a couple of years, we were
having a drunken tell all session, obviously I wasn't expecting him to say that but I can honestly say it doesn't bother me at all. Now he can be himself around me and doesn't have to hide away.

messygirl

Satinknickers wrote: »

Actually that would be worse case scenario as my lingerie supply would be totally cut off haha

Sure you can always buy your own set in your size and fav colours and fabrics! Go to a different town and buy underwear for your girlfriend and you can always order them online!

Best of luck though, if this is the worst thing you have done (and its not even bad) she is well lucky to have you!

ncmc

I think you'll be ok OP, I'm sure it's quite a common fetish among men. I'm sure your GF will be shocked and might be a bit odd with you for a while, but there are a hell of a lot of worse things you could be doing.

Personally, I don't think i'd have a huge problem with it, I'd have a bigger issue with full cross dressing than just wearing the underwear.

Do let us know how you get on and best of luck .

Satinknickers

Well thit NCMC, its not like i wake up every morning dreaming about becoming a women, its just a kinky fetish thing really, im glad i got all yoru advice its giving me a little bit of confidence to come out and reveal my awful sin:)

Sometimes when i think about it though, i do think she might have a hint, i mean i get really enthusiastic when we go lingerie shopping for her and she knows how excited i get when shes kitted out in brand new underwear!

Taltos

Satinknickers wrote: »

Well thit NCMC, its not like i wake up every morning dreaming about becoming a women, its just a kinky fetish thing really, im glad i got all yoru advice its giving me a little bit of confidence to come out and reveal my awful sin:)

Sometimes when i think about it though, i do think she might have a hint, i mean i get really enthusiastic when we go lingerie shopping for her and she knows how excited i get when shes kitted out in brand new underwear!

Gawd bless
We are not all cookie cutter.
In terms of fetish's - this is really not that kinky - maybe taboo in our society (thank you media moguls) but in terms of what else out there...
Think about it.
> you are not hurting yourself
> you are not hurting your oh
> you are not hurting anyone else

So rest easy - enjoy it and really hope your talk goes well
You hit is spot on with the shopping comment - next time you go shopping together - this can be your little secret with each other - will add a real spark to the normally killer bag carrying runs (can you tell I hate shopping - will also make sure my OH does not see this thread - otherwise I think I know what she will be suggesting this weekend... )...