Dwelling on the past.

LegacyUser

Long story short, 27 year old guy, I've made lots of mistakes in my life. Nothing too severe, just being dumb and immature. Things like getting too drunk around people, doing silly things and fighting with people over stupid things. I was in the wrong in almost every instance and it's only in hindsight, after growing up, that i can look back and see how much of an absolute idiot I was. I had no social skills and my emotions were all over the place. I was pretty unstable and lost a lot of respect from a lot of people, most of whom I don't talk to now because we have moved on in our lives. I've grown up considerably and see myself back then as the idiot I was and im so embarrassed and regretful. What annoys me most is the opportunities i pissed away and also the fact that i am never going to see most of the people from my past again so their lasting impression of me will be the stupid immature idiot I was.

Finding it hard to come to terms with how much of an idiot I was. I guess all you can do it move on and get on with things. I'm young at 27, have a good career etc, but it really does bother me. The foolish mistakes I made are just too cringeworthy to even think about. Had to get this out. I think my problem is the regret and anger at myself for being so immature and never coping on until late in life.

Porkpie

I can relate to a lot of what you said. I used to go out and get blind drunk and act like an idiot too. It's only now that I'm learning to control the booze (can't drink spirits, they make me go mental). I've embarrassed myself, ruined relationships, and probably given some people a lasting bad impression of me. I think we all have regrets when we look back at our past. It seems like you've learned from your mistakes and are a lot more mature now. It sounds obvious, but the past is really not worth dwelling over as you cannot change it, all you can do is look at your failings more objectively and learn from them.

You say you acted like an idiot around people and their lasting impression of you wouldn't be good. I've met plenty of lads from school/years back that were gobsh*tes but they're really sound now. People change. You sound like a decent level headed person now.

If I was to really concentrate on the past I could say that I was a lot more insecure than now, more immature, less focused. I have a completely different personality than when I was, say, 19 (hopefully better ) You are not your past, you are what you are now! If I was you I would just continue to strive to be a better person, focusing on the present and future. Do not beat yourself up over the past, it is absolutely pointless!

Hope this helps and best of luck!

LegacyUser

Good advice by porkpie when he/she said your are not your past you are what you are now.

Accept your past as it was openly by saying things like "I used to be such an idiot, I used to do x y z..." but as porkpie says continue to srive to be successful and people will see how much you've changed. Accepting you are growing up and changing can be very hard and take a few years. But in your case you seem to be changing for the better, so isn't that a good thing?

If you feel you lost peoples respect, challenge yourself and do something nobody will expect you to do. Let them off if they want to alk about you and do something now to proove them wrong.

And try not to let other peoples opinion of you get the better of you. Some of the best stories I hear from people are those which they tell of their past where they made idiots of themselves. It's always funny when a person can tell a story about themselves where they used to be an idiot but now they just don't care, and when they are now grown up it's funny to hear how differnt they used to be in the past.

So don't beat yourself up about it. Embrace it. By the sounds of it I bet you have a few interesting stories to tell about your past. How boring would it be to have nothing interesting to tell? That would be worse to be honest.

kittenkiller

Every person on the planet has regrets.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
Right now you're learning from them and if a situation arises again you'll have more of an incentive not to act the arse.
You haven't had your last night of drunken regret yet, you've a whole lot of living to do ahead of you.
If the stupid things you've done are really bugging you, avoid thinking about them. Focus on the good times rather than the bad. Even though you were acting the eejit, you still had mates and people who liked being around you.

We all have to accept that people do grow up.
Your old friends will understand that.
If not, then it's no loss to you.

fasty

I was like that too and sometimes, I feel dreadful about it. I alienated my friends, I was a complete bastard to girls who really wanted to be with me and just didn't have a handle on my life at all. But there's nothing you can do to undo any of it and you seem to have have come out the other side okay.

You've got plenty of years to "make up" for an embarrasement you caused in your youth, dwelling on it would be counter productive.