Long Distance

MysticalSoul

If you met someone out on a night out, and it transpired you lived a fair bit from each other (about a 3 hour drive), would you consider it? I am in this dilemma, and seeing as I don't drive, and no public transport serves his way directly, it would probably be closer to a 4 hour trip to get there, and I don't want to end up in a situation where I resent the distance - London would be so much easier than this .

prinz

Depends,..... how badly do you want to see him?

MysticalSoul

He is cute, and I do fancy him, but on our first kiss, I didn't feel the spark I have felt in the past - and then again, I wonder am I expecting too much. I don't expect fireworks, but there needs to be something in that first kiss IMHO.

LegacyUser

If you like each other enough, meet half way and see how things go.

kaimera

MysticalSoul wrote: »

He is cute, and I do fancy him, but on our first kiss, I didn't feel the spark I have felt in the past - and then again, I wonder am I expecting too much. I don't expect fireworks, but there needs to be something in that first kiss IMHO.

^^there you have it then.

LegacyUser

Hi. I went out with my ex for over a year, long distance relationship. It was fine for a few months but in the end it was me doing all the running. The only difference is I can drive and so could he. But either way, even if I could not drive I resented the journey/distance.

Hopefully for you he will make an effort to meet you, visit you at times or even meet half way and pick you up.

Oh The Humanity

I wouldn't touch it with a bargepole.

But thats a personal choice. I dont believe in long distance relationships.
You cant cuddle up to a text at night and life is short.

Nothing beats a real flesh and blood person who is physically there.

prinz

MysticalSoul wrote: »

I don't expect fireworks, but there needs to be something in that first kiss IMHO.

I don't remember being struck by lightning when I had my first kiss with my OH, but we've been together 4 years, long distance for 3, and never been stronger/happier. Plus it takes a lot longer than 3 hours for me to get to her He's cute, you fancy him, if you want to see him again give it a go!

messygirl

my boyfriends best friend met a girl when she was on holidays in ireland and she was from england and they spent the first 2 years long distance!

Im currently long distance and frankly it can get frustrating and annoying and you get tired and there will be some resentment (just want to stay in this weekend but have to go to airport get flight, get transport, do it all again sunday) but its worth it, because i love him and thats all that matters

Treat it with an open mind, dont go into this with long distance relationship in your mind, think im going for a bit of fun and to relax and have a good time with a hotty with a body!

Terodil

ofc, give it a go!

LDRs are much less terrifying these days with
- phones
- email
- MSN
- videochats

You need to put in a little more work than usual, but that can be both positive and negative. Positive: It's always something special when you do meet, you're looking forward to each other even more. Negative: If you don't communicate well it can easily explode before long.

But you'll only find out if you give it a try.

I don't see any reason to axe it before it's even started. (And I've been in a LDR for quite some time and am happier than I've ever been.)

WeeBushy

I'd agree with messy girl.

At least give it a go, if you like him what's the worst that could happen? After a few weeks you decide you don't like him enough to travel 4 hours to see him then fine, end it. No big deal. At least you gave it a go.

Imagine if in 5 years he proposes to you and you say yes, wouldn't you be glad you did! I know that's jumping the gun just a tad, but I'm trying to say is you'll never get anywhere without a gamble or two.

You've got nothing to lose, go for it!

Oh The Humanity

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

I wouldn't touch it with a bargepole.

But thats a personal choice. I dont believe in long distance relationships.
You cant cuddle up to a text at night and life is short.

Nothing beats a real flesh and blood person who is physically there.

That's a bit of a generalisation. They are usually for a limited period, as one person would eventually join the other if things were going well. Obviously it's better if the person is physically there, but I think sometimes it's worth waiting a while for someone you really like rather than going out with someone because they live nearby!

Dubliner28

I wouldnt take this relationship up at all.
Not for me.
By the sound of it your in 2 minds weather you like this chap or not or weather your willing to travel.

That should tell you that your not 100% commited which you need to be in a long-distance relationship.
You cant turn up willy neally and expect it to work. Im sure most of us have had it and it doesnt work without real commitment,
IMO you need to see each other at least 3-4 days a week to really bond etc etc

LegacyUser

I upheld a long distance relationship for 7 months.... trans Atlantic! And it worked out... I didnt know her that well when we decided to try long distance. Id say we knew each other a month when we doing this... just rang every day etc. If its meant to be, its meant to be

prinz

Dubliner28 wrote: »

IMO you need to see each other at least 3-4 days a week to really bond etc etc

By bond do you mean emotionally, mentally? Actually have bonded a lot more with my OH apart than when we're together.

Actually have bonded a lot more with my OH apart than when we're together.

Aye, while it's wonderful being together, if you're used to chatting online and sitting back and calmly discussing things, man, it can go a long way, especially as a support