Confused???

LegacyUser

Hi everyone. I'm so confused. I'm living in Limerick but not from here. I love it here but go home whenever I can. I met a fella last week while out. We got chatting. I've known him for a while. He is very nice and we kissed. I told him I'm not looking for anything serious. He said that that was ok and that we would keep it casual and have a bit of fun. Since then in fairness he has been texting now and again although now he is texting me and putting kisses at the end of the message. Please don't judge me but I think its very early for all that after one date. This freaked me out. I feel that it's moving too fast etc. I like him but what happens with me is that I panic when I meet someone, I get on with them etc and then things move on and I panic that things are getting too serious, too fast and then I wonder how to tell them that it's not working out and all I do it worry. I know this fella would treat me so well but I don't know how to accept someone being really nice to me and have a normal relationship.

I suppose really I'm not over my ex and do not want to get tied down again for a while. My ex and I started out really well. Got on like a house and fire and then after a few months it went downhill. He started to not contact when he said he would, would go out with the lads and go drinking even after arranging to meet me when I got home from Limerick. He could be very cold and hurtful towards me, putting me down, yet I took it all. It was probably his way of trying to get me to break up with him, although in the end he ended it. I tried to cling on, make things work, bent over backwards. My ex started going out with another girl a few weeks after he broke up with me. They had been texting each other while going out with me in the final few weeks so obviously he had her in his mind all the time. I'm so so so angry. I met them a few weeks ago for the first time. He is totally smitten by him and they looked so in love. She looked diva like and he was running around after her. I just wonder will he treat her the same horrible way he treated me or am I just a fool who took it all.

Maybe it's that I am so used to my ex blowing hot and cold that when I meet a really nice fella I panic that it will end up the same way or that I don't know what it's like to be treated well.
How do I move on and let someone else into my life?

Sorry for long and confusing post.

VaioCruiser

Please remember we cannot turn on and off our feelings. You are in a specific emotional place now, and you have reason to be wary and careful and cautious. He may not be. He may be happy to have met you and feeling all warm inside. Can he help it ? I know you said you wanted to take it slow, but it is not always easy for the other party to achieve this level of control.

If it really bothers you, then you need to tell him again. Maybe you are just not ready for ANY relationship ?, in which case maybe you need to be fair to him and tell him that too, and end it.

All the best

bush Baby

Kisses on a text from a boy? You know, it might actually mean he likes you!!

LegacyUser

thanks for posts. I like him as well just don't want to rush things. It's not the poor fella's fault I've been treated badly in the past.