Sex Life:(

LegacyUser

So I am 27 years- have been with my partner for the last 4 years and he has never given me a orgasm. TBH I have never had one- even by myself and I have tried almost everything. I just feel at this stage like we are just going through the motions sex wise. At the beginning the sex was great and as this is my first long term realtionship I'm finding it hard coming to grips with the fact that our sex life is just getting worse.

We try lots of different positions etc and have sex about 3 times a week- sometimes more sometimes less. He doesn't have a problem with it although he would like to have it more ofc:)

Not really sure what I'm trying to get at here, just wondering is it natural for couples to go through "lulls" or for them to be disconnected sexually but still have a pretty decent relationship?

/And also about the orgasms, should I see someone about not being able to orgasm? I have tried almost everything- I'm not really that hung up on it but it is possible for some people to be incapable of having one?

Nevyn

I would suggest you start by going to talk to your gp and then tbh you need to figure out how to have an orgasm your self and what pleases you in terms of your sexuality and sexual stimulation you prefer ideally preformed by yourself and then incorporate those things with your partner.

willy wonka

OP if it's any consolation I was 30 before I had my first orgasm.
I had several sexual partners before this but I think in a way I was afraid of letting myself go with a partner, eventhough I was crazy about several of them.

I came pretty close a few times with these guys but I could never bring myself over the edge.
I also thought that because I never had one, that I was incapable of having one, so you are not alone in feeling that way.

One night after being single for about a year, I was out drinking and came home alone and a bit sexually frustrated, so I masturbated and had my first orgasm. I will add that I never masturbated before this - I tried before but didnt like it.

I will take a wild guess and assume that you don't masturbate as this is how most women experience their first orgasm. But I would recommend that you do and relax and enjoy your body. Sex is a completely different experience when you have that ability. Good luck

Shelli

Get yourself a good selection of vibrator / toys and take your time, discover what exactly turns you on properly and what pushes you over the edge

Once you know yourself you can bring that knowledge into your sex life with your partner....you won't even have to say anything to him, it'll just be a case of knowing what you want and gently leaning or pushing him in that direction

LauraLoo

i agree with the above. try masturbating first and if after a few weeks you still feel nothing then go to your gp

Blazer

After sex...get your BF to stimulate you with his hands/fingers...
If you were close enough to orgasm during the sex itself then it shouldn't be long.
Not all women orgasm through sex..some need that extra touch at the end
If still no joy then visit your GP as one poster said.

LegacyUser

Or get him to stimulate the clit during sex?

LegacyUser

have to tried a vibrator on your clit? I think you'll have to get ther on your own first. I had my first orgasm at 24 on my own and thought I never would. I don't think you are not able to have one so don't worry, I can have them really easy now that I know how. You should try masterbating while watching porn, relax and enjoy!!

Miss Fluff

It seems like you are fixating on having an orgasm and this in turn is effecting your sex life. For now, I'd recommend completely separating the two, don't expect to orgasm when engaged in sexual activity with your partner.

I think having an orgasm is nigh impossible if you don't know how to satisfy yourself, so I'd really recommend you get masturbating. Then in turn you can show your partner what you like/how to get you off. Do this in your own quiet time when you are relaxed and at no risk of being disturbed. I find porn an excellent way of helping me to get off, you might also like to think about buying some erotic fiction.