Weird behaviour

chelios32

I am working with an attractive girl 3 or 4 years younger than me whose behaviour towards me has me baffled... She is a very outgoing witty flirtatious girl and is anything but a shrinking violet.. Loves the craic with all the lads and everyone else around the place but wont instigate a conversation with me, pretty much avoids eye contact with me and never joins in the craic when i'm involved or initiating it.. Don't understand it... She's so outgoing and friendly with everone else it seems but i am given a wide berth... Obviously i considered that she did'nt like me as a person but i've been assured that is'nt the case... wat's the story???

wasper

chelios32 wrote: »

I am working with an attractive girl 3 or 4 years younger than me whose behaviour towards me has me baffled... She is a very outgoing witty flirtatious girl and is anything but a shrinking violet.. Loves the craic with all the lads and everyone else around the place but wont instigate a conversation with me, pretty much avoids eye contact with me and never joins in the craic when i'm involved or initiating it.. Don't understand it... She's so outgoing and friendly with everone else it seems but i am given a wide berth... Obviously i considered that she did'nt like me as a person but i've been assured that is'nt the case... wat's the story???

Maybe she's smitten by you.

weird

chelios32 wrote: »

I am working with an attractive girl 3 or 4 years younger than me whose behaviour towards me has me baffled... She is a very outgoing witty flirtatious girl and is anything but a shrinking violet.. Loves the craic with all the lads and everyone else around the place but wont instigate a conversation with me, pretty much avoids eye contact with me and never joins in the craic when i'm involved or initiating it.. Don't understand it... She's so outgoing and friendly with everone else it seems but i am given a wide berth... Obviously i considered that she did'nt like me as a person but i've been assured that is'nt the case... wat's the story???

I'd say she doesn't either a)like you or is b)intimiated by you

helimachoptor

Maybe she doesnt like you?

rallye

Have you given her any reason not to like you? are you her boss?

I wouldnt worry about it, treat her the way you treat the rest of your collegues, say hello when passing her in the office etc... if she doesnt respond then dont let it bother you.

thebman

Are you older than the rest of the lads too?

Personally I'm generally the type to hold off on people I'm unsure of until I have a few conversations. Don't know what causes it. I think its probably a first impression kind of thing that causes the unsureness and I've been right on prior occassions so I continue doing it.

With people I've known a while, I seem like a very outgoing person, I'm just unsure about new people. Was the same way with people I know a while when I first met them.

Could it just be something like that or is she new to the team and so doesn't know anyone.

Could be that you too are the ones that start the craic and she wants to avoid looking like she is taking over when your initiating the craic.

messrs

mayb she fancies u - she is confindent outgoing in group where other ppl arouund to back her up - but when it comes to one and one with u, maybe she is shy, nervous - next time you are alone with her, u start the conversation and take the lead and see how it goes

LegacyUser

I'd be willing to bet that she is interested in you!

I react the exact same way. I'm very friendly, outgoing and confident with everyone at work, but for some annoying reason when ever the one guy I actually really fancy is around I get all shy and tongue tied. Only thing that helps me loosen up around him is a few drinks! (I’m sure he thinks I’m strange!) So if you like her maybe try to get talking to her on a work night out or something?

LegacyUser

i find it hard to chat in groups but i am ok in one to one situations. Maybe she is the opposite?

LegacyUser

do you fancy her? could it be that you give her the impression that you fancy her? did she catch you staring at her etc, maybe you made her feel uncomfortable or creeped her out in some way. did she hear you say something about her etc. its one of a few things either

she thinks you fancy her and she doesn't fancy you
she just doesn't like you
she likes you and acts funny as a result
you're imagining it and maybe you're just not funny etc when having the craic

LegacyUser

SHE FANCIES YOU!!! this (coming from a female) is what's happening for sure. Same thing happens me when I like a guy, clam up and avoid the guy, ridiculous of course, but can't help it. Do you ever catch her staring at you?? another classic sign.

NickNolte

Yeah, sounds like she fancies you alright. Lucky man! Unless of course you got trashed at the Christmas party, stripped naked and humped the fax machine and you just don't remember.

Taltos

Few things

a) she might like you
b) she might just need to get to know you more
c) she might just not get what you are on about
d) she might just dislike you
or...
e) she might be creeped out by you - get the vibe that you are a creep


So just try to strike up a conversation with her 1-1 to see if you can tell.
Maybe tell her that you think she doesn't like you and are wondering if there is anything you can do to change how she sees you.
Just stress - that this is just how you feel... And that you could be totally wrong.

thebman

I agree 1 to 1 is the only way to suss it out and find out whats going on.