Is something wrong with me, or am I normal?

LegacyUser

I am starting to have doubts about some of my behavior and I am curious what you all might think.

I can't "make love". Don't get me wrong I can have sex, the dirtier the better, but I can't "make love". I can only keep an erection if the sex is rough and dirty. I really like the women I am with to wear very slutty lingerie and it has to be hardcore sex. For example I am really into anal sex. If a sexual partner says no to anal sex it is hard for me to keep my erection. If I am receiving oral sex it has to be deepthroat or, again, I will lose my erection. The women I have sex with have to be submissive or otherwise, again, I will loose my erection.

I am 29, and every girlfriend I have ever had has complained that I don't make love and that we just "****". It's not that I am unwilling to affectionate or intimate, but I can only do so when we are cuddling before or after, not during the sex itself.

Currently I am single and I see prostitutes at least once a week, if I don't I get really cranky and snap at my co-workers.

I really don't have any vices, I don't really drink or use drugs to any great degree and I do well at work.

Is there something wrong with me?

Also, I am turning 30 this year, and at some point really soon I'd like to be able to start a family... a wife, a child. I am afraid that if I meet a nice girl my sexual tastes will freak her out.

Lux23

I certainly wouldn't say there is something wrong with you but if your behaviour is making you unhappy then maybe you should seek help from a sex therapist and see if you can get to the bottom of this. It could be that you just really like rough sex and if so there must be women out there who are willing to indulge this. And maybe when you meet the right one you will be making love.

prinz

A therapist would be a good idea, but not a sex therapist at first. Women are not prostitutes and their role is not there for you to enjoy as a toy. Try listening to what the girls you were with say. Do you ever ask them what they want? Sounds to me like you're someone who is into the whole degradation and abuse side of sexuality, which is becoming more common unfortunately, a lot of pornography has gone that way.

Try knocking the prostitution and porn on the head for a while mate.

philologos

prinz wrote: »

Try knocking the prostitution and porn on the head for a while mate.

^^ Nail on head.

OP: It seems that you are so used to what happens in pornography and so on that you have become desensitised to regular sexual activity.

LegacyUser

I dont think there is anything wrong with you. Its just the way you are wired. I am similar to you in sexual tastes. I prefer harder stimulation and enjoy the rougher end of the scale.

Its just personal tastes and how you are wired, it might be unusual but everyone in the world is not the same.

The words 'make love' have always made me cringe or snigger. I just cant take anyone seriously when they say those words. It reminds me of drippy hairy types from a 70's sex manual.

I dont like soppy men who are not able to dominate in the bedroom and there are plenty more girls like me out there.
My advise to you is to find a girl who likes taking it hard as you can give it.

LegacyUser

Lux23 wrote: »

I certainly wouldn't say there is something wrong with you but if your behaviour is making you unhappy then maybe you should seek help from a sex therapist and see if you can get to the bottom of this. It could be that you just really like rough sex and if so there must be women out there who are willing to indulge this. And maybe when you meet the right one you will be making love.

Lux23:

I think your right, I need to find someone who is into what I am into as I enjoy the kind of sex I have and the only thing I don't like is the reaction I get from girlfriends... ipso facto I need to only dat egirls who like what I like.

prinz and Jakkass:

I really don't watch porn, I have to do it... not see it. I have always been like this, before porn like this was being made. I like what I like, when I try some other way I can't keep an erection.

Also, I don't think all women are prostitutes, and i didn't say they were. No ammount of your personal morality is going to change my sexual preference.

Lux23

Unregistered wrote: »

Lux23:

I think your right, I need to find someone who is into what I am into as I enjoy the kind of sex I have and the only thing I don't like is the reaction I get from girlfriends... ipso facto I need to only dat egirls who like what I like.

Well there are loads of girls out there, you just have to look in the right place. Its just important to strike the balance of dominating a girl in bed while respecting her wishes and taking an interest in what she likes occasionally.

prinz

Unregistered wrote: »

Also, I don't think all women are prostitutes, and i didn't say they were. No ammount of your personal morality is going to change my sexual preference.

We're not the ones with problems mate are we? Only trying to help - and "personal morality" never came into it, neither of us judged your use of prostitutes, but rather that it seemed you were used to women catering for your sexual preferences, with no reciprocation from the OP.

Of course everyone has different interests shall we say, but it is going to far when you expect a girl to be happy to constantly indulge you, without giving her what she needs also.

LegacyUser

prinz wrote: »

We're not the ones with problems mate are we? Only trying to help - and "personal morality" never came into it, neither of us judged your use of prostitutes, but rather that it seemed you were used to women catering for your sexual preferences, with no reciprocation from the OP.

"but rather that it seemed you were used to women catering for your sexual preferences, with no reciprocation from the OP" never said that either.

Clearly, I don't have a problem. I had a question, I had doubts, those are sorted now tanks to lux23 and the unregistered lady. The only problem I had was picking the wrong women.

Mods, please close this thread. Thanks everyone.

Oh The Humanity

The ideal is to find a woman who shares your preferences. Not that unnusual. There is a perfect fit for everyone.