Friends hen night

JoeyW

Hi

My friend is having her hen night shortly and I really don't want to go but don't know whether or not she'll be very offended or not so just looking for some advice from the ladies.
I'm pregnant and won't be drinking and I won't know any of her other mates there. I'll also be huge by the time it comes around. I'm really dreading the thought of it.
What do you think? Should I just apologise in advance and explain and hope she'll understand or just bite the bullet and go for a while?

Khannie

Go for an hour or two, feign pregnancy related illness, leggit.

LimeFruitGum

She might not expect you to turn up anyway if you're going to be so advanced in your pregnancy.

MJOR

Just explain to her that you don't wanna go and maybe offer to do something like a facial or something the week before?

Maddison

Yep I second Mjor's motion...If the bride to be is understanding I cant see why shed be aggrieved that you cant go. Offer to go to a day spa & treat yourself to a pregnancy massage. Im due to be bridesmaid at a Wedding in November & I really dont want to do it...:( Not to mention the dresses are pretty ugly

Salome

In the same boat - hen night I really don't want to go to. It's a weekend one and I've said I'm only going to go for one night but I'd rather not go at all. And I don't have pregnancy related excuses to use...

I hate hens, they're so contrived and half the people won't know each other. Fun fun fun....

Blush_01

Just back from a hen this evening. Exhausted, to be honest, took a half day from work on Friday and feel like I've been travelling there or back ever since.

The weekend was good fun, but thank god it's not a regular occurrence for me and my friends just yet. Hens are expensive and frankly I'll be having a few early nights this week to recover. That said, I wouldn't have missed it.

OP - If the hen is close to home and you're supposed to go for a meal first, could you go to the meal and then head home, rather than go out with everyone else? If your friend is a friend she'll understand, especially if you offer to spend time with her to celebrate at a later date.

Carsinian Thau

There's no shame in using the pregnancy to get out of it.

Say that it'd be too tiring for you and perhaps offer something else by way of compromise.

Das Kitty

I definitely wouldn't want to be going to a club heavily pregnant.

I'd be terrified of some drunk tool bashing into my bump.

RxQueen

If i were you i wouldnt go, hens are messy stuff well the ones i experienced!.

why dont you offer for you and her to go for a meal instead some night, or like someone said if they is a meal before hand for everyone, go to that and then bail out.. but obv tell her before hand... I dont think the bride to be , will be to upset if you dont go tbh.

corkkaz

my sister is 7 months pregnant and came to our future sisters in law hen last week. She came to the dinner part and into the pub for about an hour, got a few photos and then she went back to the b&b for a good sleep. She enjoyed it and the bride to be didnt expect she would come and really appreciated it.

WindSock

Good suggestion about the facial or spa treatment thing. Popping along just for the meal bit would be good also I am sure your friend would appreciate it, but make sure you don't get lumped with paying for everyone elses wine

barbiegirl

My mate is having her hen in six weeks and I know a lot of her friends are pregnant or have babes under 1. To be honest it's spoiling some of her fun. There's a lot of really good friends who are saying they can't do the hen cause of baby or pregnancy, and I do understand the tiredness etc. but in all fairness she went to everything for them. Just because she's the last of that group is it fair that she come off worse off.
Making an effort with going to the meal and an hour in the pub or whatever is perfectly acceptable and shows your friend that you care for her. Being a friend means sometimes having tp put ourselves out and this is one time when you have to do it with a smile on your face.
Of course if you are, genuinely, not well on the night then missing is excusable.

ztoical

Really don't get the point of hen parties and have refused to go to any my friends or relatives have had. I don't understand why anyone would get annoyed or offend cus someone couldn't make the hen party, surely all they care about is people turning up to the wedding.

echosound

ztoical wrote: »

Really don't get the point of hen parties and have refused to go to any my friends or relatives have had. I don't understand why anyone would get annoyed or offend cus someone couldn't make the hen party, surely all they care about is people turning up to the wedding.

+1. I think I've been to about 3 or 4 hen nights in total, mostly ones held in the bride-to-be's own house rather than those ridiculous all-weekend-long sojourns etc.

I didn't have a hen party myself when I got married, just don't see the point of them, when all that is important is that the people you hope want to celebrate the day itself with you, actually turn up to the wedding.

OP, I'd let your friend know that given that you will be heavily pregnant, you won't be in any shape for a mad night out. Or else, do as others have said, and go to the meal and then make your excuses when the drinking starts in earnest.