Best friend

LegacyUser

ok prob situation dozens have been in before.. im a 29 yo guy and i'm just fallen madly in love with my best mate but dont know should I ask her out out on a date or just stay quiet and say nothing.

we've known each other bout 7 years at this stage and trust each other and tell each other almost everything and ask each other for advice on what to do and that... problem is now ive fallen for her in a big way.. she makes me laugh and i cant wait to be talking to her or meeting up with her. we can have good laughs and serious chats and talk about most things to each other and like most guys and girls have flirted.

thing is though ive kindda bn there as the shoulder when her previous relationships broke up so if i did say something would it bn seen as a betrayal of the trust ... the friendship would more then likely survive ins some form but not to the same level... maybe im reading too much into some things like at times we'll hold hangs or cuddle when walking down street and often sleep in same bed...

she lives in a different part of the country to me so we get to see each other mabe once or twice a month and we tlk a few times a week... which in some ways would suggest that there would be a strain

I think i know the answer already but any advice would be helpful...

Thanks and apologies for the long post and any poor grammar or spellings

NanoLion3

Right you have to look at this from two point of views...yours and hers,
first your point of view you have fallen for this girl that has been your out of this world best mate and you have just fallen for this girl and have only realized she is the girl of your dreams...you have known each other for 7 or more years and have built up a once in a life time friendship,

now from her point of view, she thinks you are the most trust worthy friend she has ever come across and will tell you almost anything and everything...even when she gets her women problems...

My point of view,
you probably have so much in common and know each other nearly inside and out
you probably think the same things and say them out at the same time...so if you stop to think for a sec...you think and say the same things...you are madly in love with her...she could very well be madly in love with you also, and if you don't say anything to her about it...deep down you wont be happy and one day she will ask you whats wrong and you will most likely say "oh nothing you know me" and because your so madly in love...you do but then again you don't want to say anything because you won't want to damage your friendship you have and then over time you will start to drift apart with out even knowing it...so to me this sounds like a once in a life time chance to have something special and you will never know if you don't ask her...this could be your one and only and life is for living especially with the one you well and truly love.

so I hope I was a bit of help and good luck and hope everything works out mate:)

squonk

Do say something. If she feels the same, then brilliant. If she doesn't, then it will affect your friendship a bit, but since you are such good firends, you'll work through it. Often in these cases the best thing to do is back off from the person for a while to get your own head straight. That's allowed and totally understandable and when you are ready, you will be able to pick up where you left off with the friendship. You have a very strong friendship and that's the main thing. Friendships are for life and falling for one of your firends can happen. Actually, even if it doesn't work out, when you get over it and move on, she will be just that litle bit more special than your other best friends. I wouldn't worry. These things seem like far bigger deals at the time. Best of luck!

LegacyUser

From reading your post, you already sound like a couple and you sound madly in love with the girl, why dont you test the waters , arrange to meet up for weeked catch up and stuff, clear your head, approach the meeting with no expectations and no thoughts and see how you truly feel about her, than mate go for it, you dont want to be left with what if's for years to come and you never know you may end up happily married ten years down the line

olazabal

You could be telling my story!

I agonised over this a couple of months ago and did nothing. I should have. I am now devastated that my friend is seeing somebody else for the past 3 months in a relationship that is moving very quickly. Probably have lost for good. I am trying to remove myself from her for the time being without causing her any upset and I don't know whether she has a clue how I feel!

Because of my personal experience I would be of the view grasp the nettle. I delayed because of a fear of embarassing my friend, or damaging a friendship. You could have it all, or you could end like me with nothing.

I genuinely feel for you because in making this decision your head is messed. But just think of the positives if you come out the right side!