When people blame you for their mistakes

LegacyUser

Hey guys sorry need help!!!

On Friday night me, my boyfriend and all our friends were having a party at a friends house, I purposely made sure i didn't get too drunk so there wouldn't be any drama.

To cut a long story short, my friend came up to me during the night and said was very funny, I did a mooner and John (my boyfriend) bit her ass as a joke but said don't tell Mary (me).

So i wasn't annoyed at the fact he bit her ass cause say it was funny, just wasn't impressed with the don't tell Mary part! So i went up stairs to use the loo, and John was there I just asked him why did he have to say don't tell Mary cause i thought it was a bit sneaky, he got all hot headed and started into an argument, I then told him to go down the stairs cause he would of woken people up, i also told him not to tell anyone what we were talking about cause it was personal.

He then went straight down stairs told everyone that i went mad at him for messing with my friend, which i didn't!! My friend then brought me outside an started laying into me saying i have to stop going mad on drink, then John saw what she was doing and started giving out to me too. They both have it in there head that i went nuts or something which is absolute bul****, now they bitching about me to all my friends saying that i went mad recently on drink, when some random girl at a party through a drink on me for no reason, like come on wouldn't you. I really don't know what to do they wont believe me and are being so horrible to me which i know so much i don't deserve. If I tought i was wrong i would have to problem saying it! I wasn't as drunk as them!!!!!

Sorry for going on!!! Please help

Silverfish

Op, this forum is moderated and all unregistered posts go into a queue to be approved, there's no need to keep posting, just post once and one of the mods will approve it in time.

Thanks.

Kimia

Well your boyfriend sounds horrifically immature and tbh I wouldn't give him the time of day. Not because he 'bit' your friends ass (which is really inappropriate anyway) but by the way he carried on.

And your friend seemed to just want to stir the sh8t. What an awful crowd. And then they BOTH tried to shame you into saying nothing by denouncing you as a mad drunken crazy person.

Nice.

Why are you friends with this person and why are you going out with this guy? Cut ties imo.

VaioCruiser

OP ... when you nit pick at your bf for something so tiny at a part you cannot be surprised when you reap what you sew.

You need to ease up on the control thing and give him a break.


All the best.

Sin1981

Tbh I think your boyf and friend are both twats. What kinda boyf goes off (drunk or not) and goes at a friend of his gilf? and what kind of friend would try to justify it or brush it off?! Highly immature. Think you need to value yourself and rise above these idiots! take no crap.

LegacyUser

Why would your boyfriend bite your friend's ass?? That's kinda random! It sounds to me like they're giving each other a lot of back up and in the process betraying you. To me, it all sounds a bit fishy....gossiping about you? Defending each other even though they are so obv in the wrong?
I think theres a bit too much misplaced trust tbh!

Kimia

VaioCruiser wrote: »

OP ... when you nit pick at your bf for something so tiny at a part you cannot be surprised when you reap what you sew.

You need to ease up on the control thing and give him a break.


All the best.

Ease up on the control thing? Come on!! The boyfriend is a d*ck and the friend sounds like a typical 'mean girl'.

Nit pick?!!

I am speechless actually at this post. Seriously.

VaioCruiser

The bf seems like a pretty decent guy having a good fun night out at a party until his gf throws a silly petulant possessive tantrum. He's right to be pissed off, as are the friends.

messygirl

VaioCruiser wrote: »

The bf seems like a pretty decent guy having a good fun night out at a party until his gf throws a silly petulant possessive tantrum. He's right to be pissed off, as are the friends.

my good god, he BIT another girls bare ass! the girlfriend wasnt pissed off about that (i would be raging) and when she confronted him in private over his sneakiness he fights with her, makes out she is a controlling possessive drunkard and then her friend has a go at her too! Im sorry but if my friends boyfriend bit MY ass when i was mooning I would freak and give the bloke a resounding slap and go tell my friend. Truthfully I don't give this advice often but that is a break up offence, it was not funny it was disrespectful, if you put up with this what next? I slipped and fell on your friend while i was coming out of the shower and she wast wearing any panties and we had sex technically but dont freak out about it, you can be so controlling? Ditch both of them and Vaio cruiser no offence but what gives you the indication about him being a decent guy? is it biting a womans bare ass in the same house as his girlfriend?asking the friend to lie?or gossiping about his girlfriend and backing up her "friend"?

Chocoholic84

VaioCruiser wrote: »

The bf seems like a pretty decent guy having a good fun night out at a party until his gf throws a silly petulant possessive tantrum. He's right to be pissed off, as are the friends.

Are you for REAL? :eek: :eek:

OK, so you're telling me you wouldn't mind if your partner BIT your friend's naked ass, and then when you tell them you're not happy about it, they go running off to said friend and tell them you're going mental over nothing, and they both start berating you? Even though they're the ones completely in the wrong?

OP, your b/f sounds like a total and utter d!ckwad. He doesn't even seem to see what he did wrong, and had the cheek to give out to YOU! Tbh, this isn't a good sign. If I had done something like that, I would be abolutely mortified about it, and the fact that I had embarrassed my OH, would be enough to have me grovelling for a while! I think he's being a bit TOO defensive...

Same with the friend...why would she think that her friend's b/f biting hwe ass was ok?! As another poster said, I would have slapped him..but instead she joins him in berating you...this is starting to look v suspicious!

My opinion? Dump the bum-biting pr!ck and the so called "friend", and find people who are worthy of your time.

mickoneill30

VaioCruiser wrote: »

The bf seems like a pretty decent guy having a good fun night out at a party until his gf throws a silly petulant possessive tantrum. He's right to be pissed off, as are the friends.

Are you the boyfriend VaioCruiser?

Boyfriend sounds like a twat.

Him and your friend are still saying that you went mad on drink after the fact. Why would they do that? 1: An argument with your bf is none of your friends business (he's making it her business and she's happy to contribute) and 2: your boyfriend is talking you down to your mates.

He doesn't sound like a great boyfriend. Plenty of other fish in the sea to be honest.

LegacyUser

sorry, but has no-one noticed the underlying constant of "drink" here? anone not think it might be the root cause of these three making a f***ing show of themselves altogether?
What the hell is wrong with some people these days? Have they no self respect of bloody shame for that matter?

Grow up for God's sake, I'm sure your parents are thrilled with this kind of behaviour.

Karen_*

Very immature antics and I think you'd all be better off away from each other.

And reading between the lines you were making an effort not to drink much so you wouldn't go mad on it and then they started to have a go about you going mad on drink on other occasions. That might be worth taking on board tbh.

Sounds like you didn't do anything on this occasion but it was the exception.

VaioCruiser

mickoneill30 wrote: »

Are you the boyfriend VaioCruiser?

Thank God no :P

Boyfriend sounds like a twat.

Sounds like any average decent guy at a good party.

Him and your friend are still saying that you went mad on drink after the fact. Why would they do that? 1: An argument with your bf is none of your friends business (he's making it her business and she's happy to contribute) and 2: your boyfriend is talking you down to your mates.

He doesn't sound like a great boyfriend. Plenty of other fish in the sea to be honest.

This stuff happens at parties when everyone is drinking. It's daft to expect everyone to behave 'properly' and with the best of manners in these situations. She needs to get a grip and accept that when she puts herself in these situations, all kinds of stuff happens. We have all been there.

All the best.

VaioCruiser

Karen_* wrote: »

Very immature antics and I think you'd all be better off away from each other.

And reading between the lines you were making an effort not to drink much so you wouldn't go mad on it and then they started to have a go about you going mad on drink on other occasions. That might be worth taking on board tbh.

Sounds like you didn't do anything on this occasion but it was the exception.

For goodness sakes they are kids and kids go to crazy parties and have fun. Some people here need to chill out and get a life. When I was younger I was at many's a party where far more crazy things than a little bite on the ass happened. What kind of sheltered "mature" lives did you all lead when you were/are young ?
This is all a storm in a teacup at a fun party where people are doing fun things and one girl gets on her high horse and probably realises it now, but can't admit it.

mickoneill30

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Sounds like any average decent guy at a good party.

Has a private argument with his girlfriend then goes out and broadcasts it to everybody at the party.

That's not like any average decent guy I know.

*Lees*

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Thank God no :P


Sounds like any average decent guy at a good party.


This stuff happens at parties when everyone is drinking.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Ok, when people are drinking at parties sometimes people do stupid things!! But... where are you getting the notion that the guy is decent?? He told her friends not to tell her about the incident and then freaked out and told everyone their business after the argument with her?? Far from decent imo, and don't get me started on the "friend"!!!

Seriously OP, these are the kind of people you don't need in your life! Im guessing your pretty young and chances are you will realize it in time anyway but my advice would be to ditch them now and save yourself the drama!!

mickoneill30

VaioCruiser wrote: »

This is all a storm in a teacup at a fun party where people are doing fun things and one girl gets on her high horse and probably realises it now, but can't admit it.

Am I missing something here? OP wasn't giving out about the arse bite.

VaioCruiser

mickoneill30 wrote: »

Am I missing something here? OP wasn't giving out about the arse bite.

Read the prior posts... I was responding to those who were 'shocked' at this....

VaioCruiser

mickoneill30 wrote: »

Has a private argument with his girlfriend then goes out and broadcasts it to everybody at the party.

That's not like any average decent guy I know.

Ehhh... I've know MANY a decent bloke and girl to say and do stupid things at parties when they drink too much. That does not mean they are not decent people.
What is this with you people with being so damed judgmental and labeling everyone as saints or devils. People are people ! Flaws and warts and all.

Get a grip

Karen_*

VaioCruiser wrote: »

For goodness sakes they are kids and kids go to crazy parties and have fun. Some people here need to chill out and get a life. When I was younger I was at many's a party where far more crazy things than a little bite on the ass happened. What kind of sheltered "mature" lives did you all lead when you were/are young ?
This is all a storm in a teacup at a fun party where people are doing fun things and one girl gets on her high horse and probably realises it now, but can't admit it.

Eh some people here ARE chilled out and have a life thanks very much. It isn't a storm in a teachip and the OP was looking for advice. Now why would you be trying hard not to drink much and cause drama? Because it obviously had happened before as the friend and the boyfriend confirm. You don't have to nearly lose it because someone posts a different slant on your advice. Take your own and chill out.

VaioCruiser

Karen_* wrote: »

Eh some people here ARE chilled out and have a life thanks very much. It isn't a storm in a teachip and the OP was looking for advice. Now why would you be trying hard not to drink much and cause drama? Because it obviously had happened before as the friend and the boyfriend confirm. You don't have to nearly lose it because someone posts a different slant on your advice. Take your own and chill out.

LOL.... maybe :cool:

Personally I suspect she was just as juiced as he was

Miss Fluff

mickoneill30 wrote: »

Has a private argument with his girlfriend then goes out and broadcasts it to everybody at the party.

That's not like any average decent guy I know.

Agreed. Your boyfriend sounds like a complete a$$hole OP.

Nitxteha

If I were you I'd cut contact until he comes back with a good apology and if he doesn't, let him bite your friend's ass while you find a nicer boyfriend.

Don't let people walk over you, regardless if its a partner, friends or family

humanji

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Ehhh... I've know MANY a decent bloke and girl to say and do stupid things at parties when they drink too much. That does not mean they are not decent people.
What is this with you people with being so damed judgmental and labeling everyone as saints or devils. People are people ! Flaws and warts and all.

Get a grip

The boyfriend tried to hide his actions from the OP, betrayed her, humiliated her and berrated her. And that's the only information about him that you know. So why do you automatically assume he's a decent guy? He acted like an asshole, plain and simple.

OP, talk to your boyfriend and tell him your side of the story. Try not to get too angry over it, or you'll both just end up shouting at each other. Ask him what his side is. He might have a valid reason for saying and acting like he did. But if he's not going to respect you, then you have to decide if that's something you're going to put up with.