Girl "kinda texting someone"

LegacyUser

Theres a girl ive been friends with for 2 years. We started out seeing eachother for the first month of that and it was quite intense, sleeping with eachother more or less everyday and her wanting me to meet her family and wanting to meet mine. She went away for that summer and when she came back we were just friends and she soon got another boyfriend.

But since around March 2008 we have been really good friends again and slept together a few more times. And in the last few weeks she has been texting me everyday wanting to come over and hang out at hers, which we have. We have kissed a few times recently but she says she ant do anything more at the moment, which i was ok with.

Then last night, on msn, she said she's "kinda texting someone" and asked was i ok? I said i didnt know and that maybe we have been hanging out too much recently, she said she will give me space if i want and i left the convesation.

Im completely confused and hurt and i dont know what to do. I know people's response will be try and cut contact for a while but the whole time i will just be imagining her with this other guy. I dont understand why this has hapenned at a time when we were getting really close again. I wasnt able to sleep at all last night and havent stopped thinking about it today. What should i do??

(sorry about the length, just wanted to give as much background as possible)

ManOfMystery

Sorry to be harsh mate, but you're just a safety net for her. You're there to provide the friendship/love/sex/etc she craves while she's looking for someone else, it's plainly obvious to see.

Its not nice but she's not the first and she certainly won't be the last girl to to do it. My only advice is to move on, plain and simple.

puglover

imo, she told you that to try and motivate you to make a move. Obviously it's abit casual at the moment. I think she wanted to see what you're reaction to someone else being on the scene would be, in the hope that you'd realise you wanted her all to yourself.

VaioCruiser

Hi - OP .... this is the situation we get into when no one talks.

A relationship needs to be discussed from time to time - to make sure we are both on the same page...

What do you want out of this relationship ....? You need to tell her. Simply that. Oh yes... I know it's not easy, but it has to be done. Otherwise you will never know where you stand and it will drive you crazy.

All the best.

LegacyUser

thanks guys,

im quite sure she knows i want to be with her as in the past i have made it pretty clear. but maybe the second poster was right and she was looking for me to take some initiative.

im just going to wait and see if she contacts me and if she does il tell her exactly how i feel

i'll update when it happens

puglover

Unregistered wrote: »

thanks guys,

im quite sure she knows i want to be with her as in the past i have made it pretty clear. but maybe the second poster was right and she was looking for me to take some initiative.

im just going to wait and see if she contacts me and if she does il tell her exactly how i feel

i'll update when it happens

Oh good God, what exactly are you hoping to accomplish by waiting. She'll be long gone from your apparent lack of interest. Call her, tell her what you want, the worst she can say is no.

LegacyUser

puglover wrote: »

imo, she told you that to try and motivate you to make a move. Obviously it's abit casual at the moment. I think she wanted to see what you're reaction to someone else being on the scene would be, in the hope that you'd realise you wanted her all to yourself.

That is totally what she was doing. man up. say yeah, i've been hanging with u, think we're getting closer so yes it bothers me. I want x and y, do you?


The end

LegacyUser

so we talked over the weekend, i told her that i was didnt like her texting this other guy and that i would like to give us a try

she said she had only texted this guy once to turn down a date and she only told me to be honest about it

she said she actually loves me but that shes planning on going away for the summer in a few weeks and doesnt know if we should start going out just yet but i aked her on an official date this week and she said yes

we slept together again and spent most of the weekend with eachother

it feels a lot more clear than before just her going away for the summer confuses things, i'll see how it progresses before she goes away

weird

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Sorry to be harsh mate, but you're just a safety net for her. You're there to provide the friendship/love/sex/etc she craves while she's looking for someone else, it's plainly obvious to see.

Its not nice but she's not the first and she certainly won't be the last girl to to do it. My only advice is to move on, plain and simple.

Completely agree with this, cut her loose.

suspectpackage

Unregistered wrote: »

so we talked over the weekend, i told her that i was didnt like her texting this other guy and that i would like to give us a try

she said she had only texted this guy once to turn down a date and she only told me to be honest about it

she said she actually loves me but that shes planning on going away for the summer in a few weeks and doesnt know if we should start going out just yet but i aked her on an official date this week and she said yes

we slept together again and spent most of the weekend with eachother

it feels a lot more clear than before just her going away for the summer confuses things, i'll see how it progresses before she goes away

I don't expect you to heed this warning but maybe it will stay in the back of your mind.

This relationship won't work. You need to change how you think about her. You are way way way too into her and giving yourself up too easily. You'll become boring to her very soon (if you haven't already) and she'll be off with someone else. You need to stop worry so much about her and focus on YOUR life over focusing on HER. But you will continue to do what you are doing and drive her away. Lessons need to be learned the hard way i guess.

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

so we talked over the weekend, i told her that i was didnt like her texting this other guy and that i would like to give us a try

she said she had only texted this guy once to turn down a date and she only told me to be honest about it

she said she actually loves me but that shes planning on going away for the summer in a few weeks and doesnt know if we should start going out just yet but i aked her on an official date this week and she said yes

we slept together again and spent most of the weekend with eachother

it feels a lot more clear than before just her going away for the summer confuses things, i'll see how it progresses before she goes away

Excellent news. See what an open chat can achieve ? Enjoy her and the time you have together and don't let paranoia and conspiracy theories take over.

All the best.