Fcuk buddy... sharing the cost?

LegacyUser

I met a girl, we had sex and are meeting up in a hotel soon. This is the first time since we did the deed originally and generally I'd be the type of guy who pays for the first date. I know that this isn't really a date, its meeting up for a night of sex (don't know if/what it'll develop into - if anything more than fcuk buddies) but I'd just feel a bit funny/scabby taking money off her for her half of the hotel room. Just wondering what other people would do? Or girls would you expect the guy to pay in this situation? Cheers.

Toots

I've never been in that situation, but if I was and it was a mutual meeting, I'd probably split the room. I'd say what'll happen is you'll end up with a 'Mrs Doyle' type situation where you both offer to pay. If this happens you can either say 'how about we split it?' or else if you'd like to meet up with her again you could say that you'll pay this time but if she'd like, she can pick up the tab for the next one.

herya

Are you just staying in the room and nothing else? If you're also going out one could pay for the dinner/drinks and the other for the room so that you both contribute somehow.

sunnyside

I (female) would expect you to pay for it. There are loads of hotel deals available. It wouldn't be that expensive.

LegacyUser

I (female)...wouldn't expect you to pay ...mutual decision by both of ye to be there then should be evenly split between both of you!

Zaph

sunnyside wrote: »

I (female) would expect you to pay for it. There are loads of hotel deals available. It wouldn't be that expensive.

Why would you expect that?

happyguy

what's the problem man...your getting laid so just pay for the room....got to be cheaper than taking her out for a meal or drinks ect....

daveharnett

happyguy wrote: »

what's the problem man...your getting laid so just pay for the room....got to be cheaper than taking her out for a meal or drinks ect....

So should he leave money on the dresser too or what?

Chucky the tree

happyguy wrote: »

what's the problem man...your getting laid so just pay for the room....got to be cheaper than taking her out for a meal or drinks ect....

You make it sound he's taking the OP from this thread out - http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055605860

happyguy

daveharnett wrote: »

So should he leave money on the dresser too or what?

hell no, he just paid for the room...if he is feeling generous then throw a few coins on the bed afterwards....lol

Kirnsy

daveharnett wrote: »

So should he leave money on the dresser too or what?

happyguy wrote: »

hell no, he just paid for the room...if he is feeling generous then throw a few coins on the bed afterwards....lol

Where did the OP say he was visiting a prostitute???

LegacyUser

Why should you pay for it all? It’s a case of mutual benefit. You’re not the only person up for it.


May I also add; you lucky *******.

Front

sunnyside wrote: »

I (female) would expect you to pay for it. There are loads of hotel deals available. It wouldn't be that expensive.

If it is so cheap then she can pay half. If I liked the girl and was trying to impress her I would pay no probs, if it's just some bird you're going to jump its 50/50 IMO

LegacyUser

Female perspective: the cost should be shared between you. It's a mutual decision by both of you to meet up and she is getting what she wants out of it as much as you.

sunnyside

Zaph wrote: »

Why would you expect that?

Because all this talk of money and splitting the bill kills the passion and makes the guy look mean. It's not that I wouldn't be willing to pay. If they plan on making it a regular thing then they could take turns booking and paying for the room.

Micky Dolenz

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Pay for the room.

Front

sunnyside wrote: »

Because all this talk of money and splitting the bill kills the passion and makes the guy look mean. It's not that I wouldn't be willing to pay. If they plan on making it a regular thing then they could take turns booking and paying for the room.

Its not a date, - they're meeting up for a ride.

sunnyside

Front wrote: »

Its not a date, - they're meeting up for a ride.

There's a fine line here, the last thing you would want to do in a **** buddy situation is make the female feel like a prostitute. For the arrangement to work some friendship and respect is required.

wexford202

Who booked the room?

If you booked it just pay on your visa and when checking out just say oh it came off my visa when I booked. If she hands you money take it and if you ever want to meet again just use the money she gives you to send flowers and then nobody feels like a hooker.

Special K

sunnyside wrote: »

Because all this talk of money and splitting the bill kills the passion and makes the guy look mean. It's not that I wouldn't be willing to pay. If they plan on making it a regular thing then they could take turns booking and paying for the room.

Who cares if he's mean - they're fcuk buddies, not in a relationship! He can be as tight as water off a duck's back - won't make any difference in the sack!

OP - I'd say either pay for it in the hope that the situation will arise again and it'll be her turn, or if you are going out hope that she gets dinner or drinks in. Then again there's a lot of hoping and you could end up taken advantage of so maybe just say something like "I'll get the room - you get the drinks in " or ask "Will we split the room cost or are you getting the next one?"

Special K

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Pay for the room.

She's getting what she wants as well. Or is it just fellas that need to pay for a ride? The guy shouldn't be automatically expected to foot the whole bill.

Whoever suggested the hotel maybe should pay the first time.

sunnyside

Special K wrote: »

Who cares if he's mean - they're fcuk buddies, not in a relationship! He can be as tight as water off a duck's back - won't make any difference in the sack!

I know but I wouldn't want friends/husband/boyfriend who were really mean and the same rules would apply to f**k buddy. Same standards for everyone in my world.

star.chaser

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Pay for the room.

Whats the point in having cake if you can't eat it?

If you can't eat it, what are you supposed to do with it?

IIMII

You pay for something for somebody because you want to, not because you have to.

Be careful she doesn't start seeing you as the dude with the golden mickey

General Zod

sunnyside wrote: »

There's a fine line here, the last thing you would want to do in a **** buddy situation is make the female feel like a prostitute. For the arrangement to work some friendship and respect is required.

yet you expect him to pay for the first meeting?

sunnyside

General Zod wrote: »

yet you expect him to pay for the first meeting?

But I'd expect it on a first date too so I'm applying the same standard all the time. When I write responses here I'm thinking of my own past experiences and the men I've been with have always picked up the bills. These are the same men who will always buy a round of drinks, etc. Generous people in general.


It depends on people's financial circumstances too though, if he was unemployed/ a student then I wouldn't expect him to pay, I would because I'm working.

BubbleWrap85

*scratches head

In a strange roundabout way, isn't it like prostitution if he automatically pays for the room as he's getting sex out of it? I think there should be a 50/50 split.

On second thoughts OP, this all sounds like it's too difficult a decision to make. Scrap the fcuk buddy and hotel room. Watch some porn instead and save yourself a couple of quid [albeit without the same enjoyment factor!]

sunnyside

Or meet in one of your houses instead if the cost of the room is that much of an issue.

Miss Fluff

[QUOTE=BubbleWrap85;60928979In a strange roundabout way, isn't it like prostitution if he automatically pays for the room as he's getting sex out of it? I think there should be a 50/50 split.[/QUOTE]

Agreed, it should be 50/50. By all means offer to pay if you don't want to seem like a tight arse but in a situation like that I think a lot of women would prefer to go halves lest it appeared the bloke was "paying" in some way.

BubbleWrap85

Since day one with my bf we have always shared everything 50/50 and not for one minute did I think he was tight!

Some women can take advantage and particularly if he's just a fcuk buddy what's to stop her taking advantage of some more hotel rooms, ordering some champagne etc etc expecting him to foot the bill? Get real.

I see feminism is alive and well anyway (!)

Nevyn

If I was in this situation then I would want to pay half, I would not want to have it seem like he was paying in any way to have sex with me.
Split the cost of the room or take turns paying for it if you are to have an on going arrangement.

Front

sunnyside wrote: »

There's a fine line here, the last thing you would want to do in a **** buddy situation is make the female feel like a prostitute. For the arrangement to work some friendship and respect is required.

She's in this for the same reason he is. Surely she would be less like a prostitute if she ponied up her half, instead of making him pay. The whole idea of f**kbuddism is that its just sex, no strings, both parties go in equally knowing the score. Him treating her as a date by coviering the bill goes away from the f**kbuddy ideal.

If he likes her or is trying to impress her then by all means, pay the bill.

Katgurl

Jesus Christ.

Pay for the room.

Asking her to split it 50:50 is NOT sexy.

I'm a woman. Take my word for it. If she takes offense tell her she can pay the next time if she wants to meet up again.

Tar.Aldarion

The only way I think think you should buy the room is, if you want to do it. If it is just a case of you thinking you should, i personally don't think you should. Don't want to perpetuate inequality do we?

galwaybob

You pay for the room and get her to shell out for the condoms, lube, bondage gear..ect. Its only fair.

Katgurl

Just because they are embarking on a no-strings arrangement does not mean it needs to be approached like a business transaction. It should still be sexy, flirty, fun.

I can tell you if I was in that situation and when I arrived and was offered a bill with calculations scribbled down the side I would be very quickly developing a 'headache' and making my excuses to leave.

Johnny_Bean

I (female) would expect you to pay for it. There are loads of hotel deals available. It wouldn't be that expensive.

Zaph wrote: »

Why would you expect that?

I presume sunnyside is a prostitute?

Ok, I don't mean any offence, sorry. But, if I was in his situation, I'd pay, assuming she's polite and thanked me nicely. If she offered to pay half, then I'd let her.

BUT if she "expected" me to pay, then I'd feel like she's taking advantage of me, is ungrateful, spoiled and a bit of a bitch. I'd probably decide against having sex with her and order a prostitute instead as it's less demeaning to me

Kinetic^

sunnyside wrote: »

There's a fine line here, the last thing you would want to do in a **** buddy situation is make the female feel like a prostitute.

Surely if he's paying for the hotel just for a ride, that's border line prostitution?

Tar.Aldarion

sunflower27 wrote: »

And if he has five orgasms and she only two, does she get a discount?

Sex isn't about orgasms, that's jsut a three pointer. there are 2 pointers and free throws too! And it is more likely he will get 1 and she will get 0.

Katgurl

This is all getting a big silly & out of hand.

OP, it sounds like you have a good arrangement with this girl if you fancy her & don't want anything more complicated.

I urge you to pay for the room, offer to pay for the drinks and treat her nicely & respectfully for the night. Just because its not a relationship does not mean you shouldn't make any effort. For her part, i'm sure she'll turn up having made the same effort with her appearance / lingerie etc.

Why everyone is urging you to take the fun / thrill aspects out of it entirely is beyond me.

Wagon

Go half and half on the cost. Makes more sense like that. Any girl who expects you to pay for everything simply because you're the bloke is usually a bit of a spoiled bitch.

waraf

Pay for the room OP. If you like this girl and want it to go somewhere is the future just be a gentleman and pay for the room discretely without her noticing.

Oh yeah - and always remember, sex is a race. There are no prizes for second place :D

Liam Byrne

sunnyside wrote: »

For the arrangement to work some friendship and respect is required.

And therein lies the catch-22 for ALL guys (not just those in the OP's scenario).

Does "respect" involve paying for it, like a gentleman, or does "respect" involve recognising equality and letting her go 50/50 ?

If he doesn't pay, he might be seen as a cheapskate; if he does, it might look like his way of "paying for sex"....

The phrase "Venus and Mars" has suddenly come into my head......

shellyboo

With my equality hat on, you should split it 50/50.

With my practical hat on, there's a good likelihood that she'll not only go out and buy some sexy new lingerie to wear, but there'll also be a waxing appointment involved. So before she even gets to the hotel, she could have €100 spent. So it would be nice for you to offer to pay for the room.

Just pay for the room, if she offers you money for it, well and good, if not... either decide you're ok with that or don't see her again.

star.chaser

shellyboo wrote: »

With my equality hat on, you should split it 50/50.

With my practical Sexist hat on, there's a good likelihood that she'll not only go out and buy some sexy new lingerie to wear, but there'll also be a waxing appointment involved. So before she even gets to the hotel, she could have €100 spent. So it would be nice for you to offer to pay for the room.

Just pay for the room, if she offers you money for it, well and good, if not... either decide you're ok with that or don't see her again.

shellyboo

star.chaser wrote: »

Did you have a point or is there just something in your eye? How was what I said sexist?

Micky Dolenz

Special K wrote: »

She's getting what she wants as well. Or is it just fellas that need to pay for a ride? The guy shouldn't be automatically expected to foot the whole bill.

Whoever suggested the hotel maybe should pay the first time.

Well, call me old school. Any women in my company will be treated. remember this is only the second "date"

star.chaser wrote: »

Whats the point in having cake if you can't eat it?

If you can't eat it, what are you supposed to do with it?

It's having your cake after you have eaten it. so you want to eat the cake but also still have the cake . But in the context of sex....I'm confused now

Front

shellyboo wrote: »

With my equality hat on, you should split it 50/50.

With my practical hat on, there's a good likelihood that she'll not only go out and buy some sexy new lingerie to wear, but there'll also be a waxing appointment involved. So before she even gets to the hotel, she could have €100 spent. So it would be nice for you to offer to pay for the room.

Just pay for the room, if she offers you money for it, well and good, if not... either decide you're ok with that or don't see her again.

Lets be fair, she'll keep her bush under control regardless of meeting up with this guy. To suggest she'll get waxed esp for him is not realistic. Its also unlikely she's going to buy fancy knickers for a shag with a fcuk buddy.

Put it this way, if a casual fcuk buddy shag was costing me €100 a pop (literally) we wouldn't be fcuk buddies for long. I'm not tight... if I'm on a date with a girl I'm into I'd be happy to pay for drinks, dinner, hotel etc. But for a pre planned friendly shag, I'm not looking for anything more than she is out of well then fcuk that its 50/50

LegacyUser

if its bothering you that much about paying for the room, find a new fcuk buddy, you dont find this one worth it to pay for a room!!

sunnyside

Why does life have to be so complicated? 4 pages about who should pay for a hotel room

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

ordering some champagne etc etc expecting him to foot the bill? Get real.

I have a boyfriend who always picks up the bills for any form of outing, be it a hotel room, coffee, meal, dinner, drinks. I'm happy to accept this BUT I don't expect everything for nothing so this how I pay.

I have bought expensive ticketmaster tickets for various events now and again.

Most weeks we'll spend a night in at his house. On my way round there I call to Dominos/4*pizza and order and pay for a pizza. When it gets delivered later it's already paid so there's no mention of money but he knows I've paid obviously. I also bring wine and/or bottles of beer. Total cost approx €30.

I buy him expensive gifts at Christmas, for his birthday and the odd item of clothing if I see something that will suit him.

If we were staying in a hotel like OP I'd bring a bottle of champagne or a least sparkly wine, purchased in advance from the off-licence because I'm not rich enough to be ordering champagne from room service!

galwaybob wrote: »

You pay for the room and get her to shell out for the condoms, lube, bondage gear..ect. Its only fair.

sunflower27 wrote: »

And maybe he can split 50/50 the lingerie she has bought especially....;)

Sex is expensive:( Don't forget doctor visits for pill perscription for ladies who are on it.

Johnny_Bean wrote: »

[/I]



I presume sunnyside is a prostitute?

No I'm not.

shellyboo wrote: »

With my practical hat on, there's a good likelihood that she'll not only go out and buy some sexy new lingerie to wear, but there'll also be a waxing appointment involved. So before she even gets to the hotel, she could have €100 spent. So it would be nice for you to offer to pay for the room.

.

Thank you Shelly.

Front wrote: »

Lets be fair, she'll keep her bush under control regardless of meeting up with this guy. To suggest she'll get waxed esp for him is not realistic. Its also unlikely she's going to buy fancy knickers for a shag with a fcuk buddy.

Most of the time men just do not understand the effort women go to, specially ones who are very self-conscious about their bodies.

And slightly off topic but might be useful regarding the fancy lingere. It can usually be purchased for Penneys prices this time of year in the summer sales. 4 sets for the price of 1 literally.

Otis Driftwood

Why do you have to meet in a hotel?