Bulimia?

LegacyUser

Hi All, just lookin for some advice as to what I should do bout my best friend.....
Basically a crowd of us al went out over the weekend, me and this friend wernt really drinkin. We had one cocktail each and stopped after that (we both just didnt want2, not a big deal).
After we left the 1st place and entered the next pub, me and my friend went2 the bathroom. We both went in2 the cubicles and wen I was finished I came out and started washin my hands, she was stil in ther and I could have sworn I heard her gettin sick. I was so shocked at 1st that I strained 2hear it, I couldn be sur I really had heard her doin it and wen she came out she looked completely fine and didn mention nythin (so obviously if she was sick, she did it2 herself). I didn kno if I imagined it or not so just let it be.
Went on2 a club, had a great nite, wasn with her for al of it but she seemed2 have good fun. She stayed at my house that nite and wen she was gettin changed in the bathroom, I thought I mite have heard it again. Again I tried to hear properly but then she was finished and came out lookin fine. I went in straight after her and tried to see if I could smell nythin. I thought I maybe got a wuff of sumthn but I have a terrible sense of smell so again, couldn be sur.
So now I'm left not knowin what to do, should I ask her bout it or just let it go? She can get very depressed sumtimes and self-harmed for a while, then went2 counselling and told me she hadn done it in ages. I know shes ben really unhappy with her weight since startin college but I really didn tink she would have let this happen2 herself?! We used 2be friends with a girl who made herself sick and this friend of mine always worried bout her, and told her not2 be doin it etc so she knows its wrong.....She told me bout her self-harmin herself so Id lik2 think shed come2 me if she thought she had a real problem.....Altho I doubt shed think she has a problem if shes makin herself sick, shes determined2 lose weight......I wouldn mind but shes not fat at all, granted not tiny skinny but shes bout a size10! She just thinks shes fat coz she has a small frame!! How should I tackle it? Wer both workin separately for the summer so I wont really get2 spend a whole lot of time with her, so I wont get the opportunity2 defo notice trends of her goin2 the bathroom etc?!?! Help!

Kevster

Hi,

Don't be confromtational about it to her. I mean, if you go up to her and ask her if she has bulimia, then she will flat-out deny it and will become angry (I have had bulimia for 4 years now by the way). Instead, perhaps communicate with her via email and always remember to be supportive. It would'nt be wise to use the 'Bulimia' word at all in my opinion, as it can strik fear/anger into sufferers. Instead, just say that you know she has a problem and that you want to help in whatever way yuo can. Leave it at that at first, and if she then opens up, direct her to an organisation such as BodyWhys (or to articles about Bulimia on the Internet).

Take care,
Kevin

LegacyUser

I wouldnt say a single word to her.Ive had bulimia and been confronted twice about it (not in very helpful ways) and I cut both people out of my life. I never spoke to them again and cut all contact. To this day,Ive no regrets because I hated them for making me so uncomfortable and even now, in recovery, I still hate them. Extreme, yes, but I know other recovering bullimics who reacted in exactly the same way. The people I do love and have in my life, never once said anything to me and while a few guessed, they realised that saying something to me would make things worse instead of better.

When I did get better,it was only because I was in a frame of mind to do so,not because of people being worried about me. Im the first to admit that some bullimics are not rational why they are like that and I genuinely think if you say something to your friend, she will never be the same around you again.

dudara

Have a look at the website bodywhys - it might give you some idea of how to handle the situation.