So alone in my life

LegacyUser

just dont know what to do anymore, im a 29 year old female with nobody what so ever in my life only my parents. I feel i dont belong in any group and never have. im outgoing, talk to people hae a genuine interest in others, have a great sense of humour, love a laugh and a joke and would do anything for anybody but noone gives me the time of day. My brothers /sisters never ring me or contact me, my colleagues exclude me, even though i try to be part of their group they dont respond. I feel I have nothing to offer anybody and beginning to think there is something seriosly wrong with me, like i must be slow or come across as a bit weird and dont realise it because nobody could be this unlucky socially.

I see so many people who are two faced, ignorant, rude, aggressive,liars, false, dishonest, quite, snobby or the exact opposite as in scangers, dirty people who smell,mean people who scab off others, the list goes on...........but im none of these people.....i love life, im highly educated, intelligent, ambitious, smart generous, love people...but the rejectio im facing is heart breaking and im afraid i cant face it anymore its too hard to bear. if i was a recluse and wanted to be alone it would be ok but im not i love company i want people in my life desparatey, you have no idea how much but ive tried for too long now.......is there anything i can do to get people to like me, please help me.

Adamisconfused

It’s quite late so I’ll be quick. Don’t try to force yourself into groups. Simply be pleasant and helpful to colleagues. Don’t be the type of person who comes over and acts loud or tells jokes. Also, don’t be the quiet one who mumbles a few words. Just act confident and normal. Sometimes, it’s difficult to integrate fully with colleagues so your best option would be to get involved with something outside of work. Find an interest that involves meeting people. Even if you don’t get invited out at night, it’ll feel great to be involved with something you enjoy.
Also, the fact that you mentioned a lot negative traits some people possess while giving yourself a significant amount of credit might give an insight into your personality. It’s difficult to decide who someone is from one post, but never say things like that out loud. You have a high opinion of yourself, so make sure you don’t let other people know that you have it. There are a significant number of horrible people out there, but the majority are honest and decent most of the time. You seem to have a harsh view of people. Just because you’re nice and educated doesn’t mean people will fall at your feet. Be active and find people you like. Don’t expect to be welcomed everywhere with open arms.
Have you just read what I’ve written and thought to yourself that I’m completely wrong and you’re better than me? Just trying to find out what type of person you are.

RossFixxxed

Right I've been there. You have to wonder, and I don't mean to be rude, if EVERYONE in the world is a bad, ignorant person of if there is something about YOU that is putting people off?

Do you come across as standoffish, do you give out a lot of negative vibes? If you THINK everyone is bad then people are going to pick up on that to be fair.

YOU have to make effort here you know. You will have to put yourself out there a bit. Maybe ask some people out for a drink or something? Find some common interest and ask someone to that? There's plenty of nice people out there, and plenty of people you won't hit it off with. That's a world apart from people being bad.

iheartny

I used to a be a lot like yourself. When i look back on my life I see that portion as very dull and grey. Now Im bursting with colour
I think it's true what Adamisconfused you have to find out who you are. make more time for yourself. maybe change your appearence - bring out a new you, have a makeover, anything!
You do mention a lot of negative points about yourself, which could be the stem of your problem. Begin to love yourself and I'm sure you'll see your life change before your eyes.
If you don't get calls of your family, then call them. Make the effort yourself - you seem to be falling into a trap you've set yourself feeling sadness for things you can or could have avoided.
I do a lot of voluntary work for my local community after work - I work at the theatre and for my local radio station. I don't get paid but I get great satisfaction helping out and meeting new people and I'm always getting calls to help here and there, get calls to go out socially and it's a lovely feeling to be appreciated. It's time consuming but it's an effort I made on my part and I feel the benefits for it.
If I were you I wouldn't try so hard with your work colleagues - they might just be a bad bunch. Just be yourself. Trying too hard might be coming off as needy and making your colleagues feel awkward so it might not benefit you in the long run.
You really do have to make the effort yourself though. You seem really confident so even if you get a casual invite for a drink then take it. Or invite someone yourself. Ask a friend at work if they fancy a drink at lunch. just make that first step.
Good luck, think positive and take a moment every morning look in the mirror and tell yourself three positive things you love about your personality and appearence!

sachamama

I read your post 3 times OP and what you said "I feel i dont belong in any group and never have" and yet you keep trying to break into groups of people, it doesn't work and you get disappointed and upset with yourself and with the other people involved.

So underneath everything do you honestly feel that's the way to do it? Possibly not because you've not had much luck and you are here, talking to us.

i agree with the poster who said find out what you like about yourself. what are your interests? what would you change if you could change the world? decide to do things that stimulate and interest you. Things that give you a feeling of giving back to the community. without having making friends as your main agenda, the friends will come. but if making friends is the top thing on your list, then perhaps you try too hard, get pissed off and angry at people for not appreciating you.

Its the same as how to attract a boyfriend - you don't attract people by being desperate. so decide now that having friends and being part of a group is not the be-all and end-all, and go do something you care about. and yes, do phone your family, organise to see them for dinner the odd time and invite your brothers/sisters out to do things that YOU like to do. and if they say no, well do it anyway without them!