I give up

lisajane

Im here again and i dont know why. Its not as if its going to make a difference. I am sick of being treated like the siht at the bottom of my sister's shoe.

I have been keeping my distance from my sister for a few weeks now. Or longer if you count up the weeks i have been ignoring her for the past year. And all due to her moods. She turns on me for the most supid reasons.

Every single mood resulted in her huffing and puffing and just being real nasty towards me. Here's just a few situations:

I ordered her a phone over the internet using my credit card. There was a delay in sending the order and she turned on me and wanting the cash back she gave me for the phone. She didn't trust me and her warped mind thought i just kept the money. There was no telling her.

She wanted me to sit in with her while she was learning how to drive. One day i told later at 11 o clock on a sunday morning. We had the whole day and she turned on me saying i was all talk, i just wanted her to fail. And she went on and on how i was jealous of her driving and trying to get somewhere. Well please forgive me for saying later, its not as if we were going somewhere. To make a trip out of it and drive to the cinema or something, fine but just to sit in while she practiced - we had the whole day for it. To say the least, i never sat in with her over that mood.

She misplaced her rules of the road book and blamed me for taking it - and all because i said to her ah sure buy a new one. She thought i was a spiteful cow and just jealous of her and thats why she thought i took her book, even though she misplaced it. I tore the house upside down looking for that book just to prove her wrong and i am so sorry i didn't burn it in front of her when i found it - to be called spiteful!

I had a cold one week and thinking of going into the gym one day. I even packed my gym bag. But i decided not to, just to recover from the cold. She got ready also to go in with me and since i was driving she had no way in. But she turned on me again, for changing my mind. Apparently i was just jealous of her trying to loose weight.

There was a xmas party i really wanted to go to. My sister wanted to go too. The same week i had a terrible itchy rash on my body. I didn't know what it was and my doctor wasn't sure either. The last thing i wanted to be doing was going to the party, even if it was a xmas party. There was nothing stopping my sister going but she didnt want to go alone, so she turned on me once again saying i was all talk,I do nothing but get her hopes up and then knock them down. And she only wanted to go so she could hop on some poor fella that once smiled at her.

Two weeks ago she huffed and puffed at me again because she was late for work. Why can't she get up earlier, but no, it was my fault.

The list is endless, but you can see just how stupid her reasons are. I think its geting a bit to much now. I am now once again ignoring her over another one of her moods. She wasn't happy with me when she said something to me earlier and it went in one ear and out the other. I just refuse to listen to her and putting up with her moods. To be treated like crap. She doesn't do it to anyone else.
What's the point even saying anything to her and even trying to do anything about her moods? It'l be the same thing again next week.

If this was a friend or someone else i would have said see ya and left them to it ages ago. Is there a law or something that says you have to put up with abuse just because your family?

aligator_am

Although I don't know you personally, I do know people that have been in similar situations, my housemate's sister was very, very similar to the way you describe, it panned out that she was actually schitzophrenic! (I'm not saying your sister is btw)

I must ask, do you live together in the family home or are you renting a place on your own etc? It sounds like a scenario that you can't win, and trouble that you don't need in your life, in fairness, it's your sister, and I'm sure that you love her, but sometimes people are taken for granted, you deserve more that that, everybody does.

My advice, and in fairness I'm no psychologist is to move out if you can (assuming you live at home), and if possible simply blank the sister for a while, as in several months, don't be rude about it but simply do your own thing, and whatever you do, don't be over eager to see her. It's amazing the weight that's lifted from your shoulders when you don't need to share a house with someone like that, it was the same with my dad, an amazing guy, but a total arsehole to live with, now that I have me own place we get on incredibly well

lisajane

aligator_am wrote: »

Although I don't know you personally, I do know people that have been in similar situations, my housemate's sister was very, very similar to the way you describe, it panned out that she was actually schitzophrenic! (I'm not saying your sister is btw)

I must ask, do you live together in the family home or are you renting a place on your own etc? It sounds like a scenario that you can't win, and trouble that you don't need in your life, in fairness, it's your sister, and I'm sure that you love her, but sometimes people are taken for granted, you deserve more that that, everybody does.

My advice, and in fairness I'm no psychologist is to move out if you can (assuming you live at home), and if possible simply blank the sister for a while, as in several months, don't be rude about it but simply do your own thing, and whatever you do, don't be over eager to see her. It's amazing the weight that's lifted from your shoulders when you don't need to share a house with someone like that, it was the same with my dad, an amazing guy, but a total arsehole to live with, now that I have me own place we get on incredibly well

Hoping to move out after xmas, sooner if i can. Hoping to go back to college next year and do a course that has work experience involved once a week. I would like to get the work in cork cause the college is there. It would be alot of wasted time on a bus travelling up and down from galway to cork each week. So would like to get the work sooner rather than later. So will definately make that move but how do i stay sane with her moods?

LegacyUser

Sounds like your sister see's you as an extension of herself and not as a separate person who deserves respect. Make it clear to her that you are under no obligation to sit in with her when she is learning to drive. Tell her that you would sit in with a friend but she doesn't treat you like a friend so you'll pass on it.
Let her know too, that you like going to the gym with people who's company you enjoy.
Same as with parties etc.
Basically you have to point out to your sister that she seems to think that the two of you are obliged to hang out together although you don't seem to like each other very much.
Your sister only seems to want to hang with you because she has no one else, not because she likes you. Let her know that you know this. Encourage her to find her own friends and not to depend on you so much.
Keep some space between you and enjoy being you for yourself, not a door mat for your sister.

Oh The Humanity

Your sister sounds very dependant. Also a bit deluded and self-absorbed but perhaps she is a teenager?

You've got to stop letting her rantings get to you so much.

Also why are you bothering giving her lifts places, let her paddle her own canoe.

You've tried to help her out and she keeps throwing it back in your face. There is nothing much more you can do except let her get on with it.

Her saying you are jeaous is just a wind-up. You are reacting to it and mulling over it so her little barb is having the desired affect.

Just ignore her or laugh at her. She will grow up someday.

Teenagers tend to have ridiculous ideas that everyone is trying to wreck their lives. There is not much you can do about that, she will have to grow out of it like everyone else.

Stop paying attention to her tantrums.

Munster_Gal

Have we got the same sister??? :eek::eek:
Mine is the very same. Serious attitude and mood swings. can't say a word to her without having my head chewed off! Can't wait to move out after my bro's wedding in september. She not the kind of person that I like to be around