Life, How much does it cost?

LegacyUser

Well, how much does living cost?

Im 25 and still at home and its killing me. Life is so unfair for the girls anyway. Im earning 400 euro a week and i am saving alot of it so i can go back to college. Its my dream. But i dont know should i sacrifice my dream to move out. If i move out, it'l cost me and i probably wouldn't be able save as much if i was at home. And if i move out i would need money which i am getting- but in a job i hate so much.

A bit of a background, i am still at home with my mother, 3 brothers, and sister. My mother on the dole, part time job on the sly and housekeeping of the girls, her weekly earnings comes to about 500 euro. More than what i am getting. Not to mention her medical card.

But then she doesn't take a penny of the lads. They sometimes work when they need the money to go out drinking but they don't contribute to anything. But if they don't feel like working which happens alot, they don't. mother pays for their life at home and they use their bit of savings to go out drink at the weekends. When they not working, they don't even apply for the dole cause mother looks after them. She pays for everything for them, food, clothes, even the doctor. And she does everything for them too. Basically there isn't much of a difference between the lads and a baby (except for 30 years).

My mother even makes up excuses for them for not paying up. Well they are saving to go to oz. She uses the word they, even though there is only 1 of them planning a 3 month holiday to oz. Now if i was to decide to go to oz and god knows i want to get out of this place, i will still have to pay my own way.

So as you can probably guess, i am fairly annoyed at the whole situation. I am expected to pay my own way at home when the lads don't pay anything. Two sets of rules going on here.

So i am barely surviving on 400 euro a week. I do pay my own way at home. I have a medical issue which also costs me, a car, so whatever is left over which isn't alot i am trying to save it to go back to college. And to get all this, i am in a job which i hate, and if the lads doesn't want to work, they don't, mother pays for everything. Well i don't want to work either but do you think she'll pay for my life?

So for sanity, i have been thinking about moving out, at least it would be fair. Costs are shared equally. But i must admit i probably do pay less at home than if i was renting. How much does it cost? Can anyone give me a rough idea? Or should i stay at home and save more? I would be moving out next year anyway for college. I just don't know anymore.

Gone Drinking

Rent depends on size and location, www.daft.ie

petes

If you are unhappy then move out. €400 a week is plenty to live on. Granted it will cost you more on rent and bills if you move out.

It sounds like a typical Irish household to be honest where it seems all of your brothers are mammys boys.

You are 25. Time to fly the nest.

That is unfair. I have a friend in the same situation - her mam takes 400 a month off her for rent, while her sister and brother-in-law live there for free because they're 'saving for a house' - as if my friend isn't?

400 a week isn't bad money at all, I've rented for years on much less than that. I don't have a car, though. Is it absolutely essential for getting to work etc? Rent and costs depend on where you live. in Dublin you should be able to get a decent room in a house share for 400 euro a month, or less in most other places, then your food costs depend on where you shop and how much you eat. If you shop at Aldi and Lidl you can get a week's groceries for 20-30 euro max if you choose carefully.

Eric Cartman

right, im 19 , im on a bit more money than you every week but i manage to support paying rent, paying off a car loan, paying insurance, bills, food and drinking no problem myself. on 400 a week you will definitley be able to live, including bills id say youll spend about 100 - 120 a week in accomodation, after that do what you want with the rest, but move out, home is not a place to stay

Oh The Humanity

You'd be better off moving out and getting into a share.

Adults living in the family home past 21 or 22 is just impractical in the majority of cases.

I know you want to save for college but thats a luxury, supporting yourself as an adult woman is more important.

It may take you longer to get to college but thems the breaks.

Its an old Irish way that daughters are just seen as mouths to feed, wheras sons are and investment. Don't get bitter about it. Be your own woman and although you will have to work harder it will be worth it.

The old school mindset at home is getting you down and I understand that, but instead of letting it get to you, use the unfairness of it to motivate you to become a self made person.

Your brothers are getting it all handed to them on a plate. Thats the way of the world, dont get bogged down though. Be strong.

petethebrick

[quote=[Deleted User];60876946]That is unfair. I have a friend in the same situation - her mam takes 400 a month off her for rent, while her sister and brother-in-law live there for free because they're 'saving for a house' - as if my friend isn't?

[/QUOTE]

That's ridiculous - sure she could rent a room in her own place for the same/less than that. I don't understand parents charging their children for anything more than food and household goods which shouldn't be more than 50euro a week

OP - move out if you think you'd be happier. Especially if you're going back to college you'll need to prove you were living independently to get the mature sudents grant

petethebrick

petethebrick wrote: »

That's ridiculous - sure she could rent a room in her own place for the same/less than that. I don't understand parents charging their children for anything more than food and household goods which shouldn't be more than 50euro a week

Well I can understand her mam charging as she's a single parent and has had her hours cut to part time, but it's unfair to make my friend pay 400 a month, which is a fair whack for living at home, while not charging the sister and her husband anything. Some parents do charge quite a lot though - my bf was giving his parents 300 a month when he lived at home. Not sure if they asked or he insisted, but he didn't mind as he liked living with them and wanted to contribute as much as he could.

taram

I was in pretty much the same boat as you OP, my little sister even gets the crusts cut of the sandwichs my mother makes her.

Sit your mother down and show her budgets and fees for college and explain to her how much it's going to be, and that your plan is just as important as the oz dream.

Unpopular opinion, but personally I'd shop your mother to social welfare also, she doesn't deserve her payments.

LegacyUser

taram wrote: »

Unpopular opinion, but personally I'd shop your mother to social welfare also, she doesn't deserve her payments.

i think thats unfair, it sounds like the mother is supporting 3 grown men on 500 a week. with a part time job she can still be entitled to part time dole.
the 3 men are the problem. they need to move out or start contributing significantly. OP says they're over 30, whats going to happen to them when the mother isn't around to look after them anymore? men like that should be penalized, not the poor woman trying to hold it all together. it must be very stressful for the mother to have 5 grown kids still living at home tbh.
i've noticed a lot of irish girls end up with way more responsibilities and being way more mature than their male peers. it wouldn't surprise me if this recession continues that a situation will occur where there is more women in the irish workplace than men. men need to man up.

taram

Unregistered wrote: »

i think thats unfair, it sounds like the mother is supporting 3 grown men on 500 a week. with a part time job she can still be entitled to part time dole.

I agree she's supporting them on very little money but why the hell is she? Are they unable to work? Doesn't seem like it from the OP. I know it'll be really hard for them to get a job currently but going to mammy for money so she commits welfare fraud isn't the answer either.

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

i think thats unfair, it sounds like the mother is supporting 3 grown men on 500 a week. with a part time job she can still be entitled to part time dole.
the 3 men are the problem. they need to move out or start contributing significantly. OP says they're over 30, whats going to happen to them when the mother isn't around to look after them anymore? men like that should be penalized, not the poor woman trying to hold it all together. it must be very stressful for the mother to have 5 grown kids still living at home tbh.
i've noticed a lot of irish girls end up with way more responsibilities and being way more mature than their male peers. it wouldn't surprise me if this recession continues that a situation will occur where there is more women in the irish workplace than men. men need to man up.

But she shouldn't be supporting 3 grown men, that's the point. I don't feel sorry for the mother, she should have copped herself on years ago. Men like that are like that because their mothers allow it, and in a lot of cases, encourage it.

lau1247

OP I have sympathy with you..
By all means if you need to move out then you gotta move out..
400 is plenty to live off albeit saving less that you would at home..

I get 500 a week and I help out my parents 750 per month, my car, rent and bill not included yet..
There's plenty to go about if you don't drink, smoke or gamble..

Your brothers are moochers but a mother will always look out for her offsprings..
At some stage they will realised that they're f*cked come the day your mother is not there for them anymore..
I think you're better off to talk to them about this than moving out..

Apart from your brothers' issue, I'm actually quite concern that your mother have part time on the sly and housekeeping which get her 500 per week and on top of that dole money?
This is how this country is at the moment, everyone claiming dole..
Because some actually get more than working on minimum wage..
It's disgraceful.

bronte

Op you'll be well able to support yourself on that money quite comfortably.
Get yourself a nice houseshare ...look on gumtree or the like.
Tell your mother to cop on before you leave too, she's half mad supporting your brothers.
Typical Irish mammy crap :rolleyes:

Greenmachine

lau1247 wrote: »

OP I have sympathy with you..
By all means if you need to move out then you gotta move out..
400 is plenty to live off albeit saving less that you would at home..

I get 500 a week and I help out my parents 750 per month, my car, rent and bill not included yet..
There's plenty to go about if you don't drink, smoke or gamble..

Your brothers are moochers but a mother will always look out for her offsprings..
At some stage they will realised that they're f*cked come the day your mother is not there for them anymore..
I think you're better off to talk to them about this than moving out..

Apart from your brothers' issue, I'm actually quite concern that your mother have part time on the sly and housekeeping which get her 500 per week and on top of that dole money?
This is how this country is at the moment, everyone claiming dole..
Because some actually get more than working on minimum wage..
It's disgraceful.

E750 p/m plus rent and bills??? You are truly insane. I am all for paying your own way. I have been contributing since I started working. You could morgage a small place for taht.

michaelgriffin8

This is going to sound a bit cheesy but I think you need a family meeting. An intervention of sorts (this reminds me of Pippas family meetings in home and away but anyway....)

Your brothers need to be sat down and and talked to. They may even have problems themselves that need airing, though to be honest they just sound like a bunch of lads having the craic that are a bit stuck in a rut.

If you can get everyone together, explain the situation and sort it out I think you could have a much happier family life. Your brothers could pick up a bit of part-time work if they cant find a full-time job in the current climate. This might allow them to contibute to the house which means your Mum might be able to stop claiming the dole.

reprazant

petethebrick wrote: »

That's ridiculous - sure she could rent a room in her own place for the same/less than that. I don't understand parents charging their children for anything more than food and household goods which shouldn't be more than 50euro a week

OP - move out if you think you'd be happier. Especially if you're going back to college you'll need to prove you were living independently to get the mature sudents grant

Why?

It is their house, they can charge what they want. There is nothing to stop that person moving out of they don't like. They can get a room for the same price. But then, they would have to pay bills, food etc on top of that.

When I lived at home, I always have to pay rent and i had no bother doing it. It is their home, not yours. Once you finish school/college and are working, there is no reason you should still be living at home. It is just a way for parents to get their 'child' used to the real world and, more then likely, help the 'child' realise that living at home when they are adults and working is not the way forward.

lau1247 wrote: »

I get 500 a week and I help out my parents 750 per month, my car, rent and bill not included yet..

Why do you pay so much? You could find yourself a nice flat to yourself for that price, or a mortgage as Greenmachine states.

750 is unbelieveable.

Dardania

To give you an idea of how much life costs, I can share my situation: I share an aprtment with my girlfriend. We split all the costs equally. She is very conceitentious about accounting for her money (she has a spreadsheet for every month, with every expenditure accounted for) so I can be fairly accurate about how much things cost.

Rent is €550 each (we live in a 1 bed apt in a nice Dublin suburb)
ESB is approx €25 each per month (we use ESB for our space/water heating also, and do things like run washing machines at night to take advantage of cheaper electricity)
TV/Phone/Broadband is approx €35 per month each
Public transport is approx €70 per month each
Food \ shopping \ cinemas \ clothes & miscellaneous costs amount to: €450 per month each

Totalling approx €1100 per month each, with EVERYTHING left over at the end of the month straight into the savings account.

A big money saver is not having a car. You would know better than us how much one of those things cost, but any time I do the sums it just doesn't add up for the amount we'd use - we just rent cars if we want to go driving for a weekend! Also, it's a great ide for the first time living away from home to live with a few people - really opens the mind I think - evn if they drive you mad at times!

If the above is the non-emotional, practical part of my response to you, the emotional part of my response is: do you want the situation at home to change? Peoples behaviour (like with your mother & brothers) gets embedded and becomes the norm, and I'd say you would have a hell of task ahead of you trying to change the status quo at home, when really you could put that effort into thriving on your own?

messygirl

its not 500 per week (she earns more than me!) its 500 per week plus about 1200 per month in welfare, plus rent allowance, plus medical card, + + + +, your mum sounds maddening! My parents have supported my siblings through college or whatever, im very lucky they paid my rent but i paid for everything else ad they expected that of me because i was the "sensible" one, so i was penalised for being sensible and saving and the others got handouts, 3 years later and im still annoyed. your mum is penalising you for working, invest in your sanity and move, you can get places cheaper, meet new people through room mates, and have control AND you dont have to put up with your brothers and mum. If she was a stranger I would call the social welfare people but the last thing you want is for your brothers to be plaguing YOU! hold your head high and enjoy yourself, and as for work, not many like their job, but you are making it harder going from a job you hate to a house you cant stand!

LegacyUser

no wonder the country is in the mess it's in.....mother a benefit cheat, 3 lazy brothers at home and still planning "3 month" holiday in Oz.......what a depressing reflection of Irish society.
Move out and stand on your own two feet as the example you're getting at home is terrible, something you've pointed out yourself. Finally, your Mother has created this awful situation by literally breast feeding her sons through adulthood, she sounds like a hard worker but that doesn't forgive defrauding the taxpayers of this country.

SLUSK

So these three guys live at home and have their mother pay for them? These guys are not real men. They are losers and we should all laugh at them.

kelle

OP, your brother won't last long in Oz - he'll have his money spent within a week and will phone his mammy for the fare home because she's not there to cook his meals and wipe his bum.
At least you're learning independance and responsibility, these are attributes that will get you a long way in life.

white apples

OP - you should definately move out. By all means you can still try to help your brother with his problems but don't let them become your own. You need to get some space.

And I would definately recommend renting a room so you can live with other people, make a few friends and have the laugh. I assure you I've rented with various different ppl through ads I've found on daft and none of them were weirdos, most ended up being good mates, so don't be put off by the idea of living with strangers - just take your time and choose carefully. If you're really bothered by this, opt for an en-suite room to give you that bit extra privacy.

I'm not sure where you live but a wage of 400 a week is more than enough to pay for this if you're in Dublin, and probably even cheaper if you're outside of Dublin.

I did a quick search and these are only a few of the ones that came up all for less than 500 a month.

www.daft.ie/3529299
www.daft.ie/3525496
www.daft.ie/3525968
www.daft.ie/3526215

Sugar Drunk

move out. Your living under irish mammy syndrom and nothing you can do will fix it - objecting will only cause arguments and make you feel even worsein true mammy style you may even be accused of 'begrudging' your brothers.
I love my mum but I have two brothers who in their twenties cant iron a bloody shirt or cook a meal and a 20 year old sister who hasnt lived a day in her life. I was working since I was 12 and just had to get out for some head space a few years ago- best thing I ever did.

Have a look on daft.ie for places locally rent varies but if you have a car it can actually save you money on rent as you can afford to live a few miles out from the centre of a town etc, places within walking distance of everything or very central would cost more in rent so look at suburbs and that.