Help - Crisis Pregnancy

AugMom

Hi, i dont even know where to start but heres my story so far. Im 9 weeks pregnant by my bf of only 2 months. It happened the first nite we had sex, i was foolish enough to have unprotected sex i know , i got the morning after pill 2 days after so i really didnt think id fall pregnant. i tested anyway only to discover this nitemare. I was fairly certain id have a termination as my current circumstances would be disasterious to bring a baby into. I am over a year out of a long term relationship to which i have 2 children out of. I am currently still sharing a house with my ex & the children until we can get it sold. I have my hands full with my 2 children as it is and i dont know this bloke really at the end of the day im only with him 2 months, he says he will stand by me and the baby and that he's ready. but theres no guarntees he wont change his mind when the reality has hit and then im the one left with 3 children being a single mother. I know i couldnt cope with this. My family dont know about this yet - im dreading telling them. I know they will take it very bad and who could blame them. I just dont know what to do. I had changed my mind about the abortion because i just dont think i could live with myself if i went thru with that. i have always wanted another child - but not in these circumstances and with a man im not long with. Now i just feel so depressed, dont want this baby but dont want an abortion. It could be just hormones but i am truely at a loss here. Can anyone offer any advice or words of wisdom? Please ?
Also i will have to give up my part time job which i have at the moment and the daddy doesnt work at the moment so financially its a joke :-(

quickbeam

If you don't want an abortion then don't have one.

You say you couldn't cope with three children, but you'd be surprised how well people can cope when they have to.

If you really can't cope then there's always giving the baby up for adoption to a loving home.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what your family thinks - you're an adult who can make your own mistakes and it's none of their business really.

If your current boyfriend can't afford to pay maintenance then there are alternative sources of finance available. Check out with the social welfare office.

If you're still unsure, then check out one of the decent crisis pregnancy agencies who will give you the best advice.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

sachamama

I agree with Quickbeam, don't have an abortion if you don't want one.

Take every day at a time, in a few weeks things may have settled down around you and you may feel more confident about your decision. If you tell your family you should have their support, that should take some of the pressure off. I'm sure they will see how distressed you are and not feel the need to tell you off!

Maybe this man is the man for you! Maybe he isn't. but only time will tell.

From what you have said though, it doesn't sound like giving the baby up for adoption would be something you'd like to do. If you are determined and confident to have this baby, it will work out. You've just got to get to that stage, get used to the idea first. So go easy on yourself. Someone up there knows that you are a good mama and chose you, this baby is supposed to be. Everything else will fall into place in time.

**Caroline**

Hi Augmom,

Sorry to hear you're in this situation. It can't be easy for you I think that's some good advice above. You seem to have had a rough time of it recently with your break-up etc.:( And I'm sure things feel a whole lot worse with the 'pregnancy hormones' kicking in!
You need ALL the support you can get right now. Have you a close friend or family member (that you can rely on/trust), who you could talk to about all this It will help to get things off your chest.;)

And I agree that you should contact a crisis pregnancy agency to discuss how you're feeling. They are there to help people in situations like yours - they won't judge you and it's confidential.
http://www.positiveoptions.ie

On a separate note, I think it's good that your boyfriend wants to stand by you - even if it is only early days!! Time will tell if he sticks to his word, but you need to be fully prepared to have this baby (whatever the outcome with your boyfriend) if you decide to keep it. And like Quickbeam said, you will surprise yourself with how well you'll cope! Things will all fall into place, even though it doesn't seem like it right now.

I really hope things work out ok for you and start looking up! When you get over the shock of it, you may even start to look forward to the baby. Like a fresh start!:D


Good luck with everything! And hopefully you'll keep us updated as to what happens. I'd love to hear a happy ending for you, fingers crossed xx