Youth torn away

busted flush

A trickle of blood ran down the inside of her hairless leg.
twenty five armed soldiers entered from behind.
She had a curious look that muddied the innocence of her first twelve years.
they charged me two euro at extra vision cause i did not rewind.
Hidden under her sheets curled up in a ball.
I'm going to eat more healthy I've made up my mind.
She could hear her mothers soft whispers outside in the hall.
Ryan Wilson has to be Alex's greatest find.
She patted her head and made her feel tall.
twenty five armed soldiers entered from behind.

MojoMaker

There's a not-so-subtle difference between enigmatic, plausible, and making sense. Which are you aiming for?

busted flush

MojoMaker wrote: »

There's a not-so-subtle difference between enigmatic, plausible, and making sense. Which are you aiming for?

This will not answer most probably, but what I'm doing here is called" lurictic introspective,its a form of writing used by a writer in the 13th century by the name of Gearard France he was a poet/iron monger who died of consumption. He developed this style and while I'm not doing it complete justice it is a creative way of expressing various degrees of ones imagination.
regards, Busted.

Flight19

Busted i applaud you i tried to read it but i couldn't get the justification aspects.
Heres a little bit i remember but can't remember the title
excuse the spelling

I breath't yet it is not clear
I see it, yet it is not there
fortunes hide't from the back
crying from terror.

sitout

busted flush wrote: »

A trickle of blood ran down the inside of her hairless leg.
twenty five armed soldiers entered from behind.
She had a curious look that muddied the innocence of her first twelve years.
they charged me two euro at extra vision cause i did not rewind.
Hidden under her sheets curled up in a ball.
I'm going to eat more healthy I've made up my mind.
She could hear her mothers soft whispers outside in the hall.
Ryan Wilson has to be Alex's greatest find.
She patted her head and made her feel tall.
twenty five armed soldiers entered from behind.

Honestly this was not good at all! I never caught what the narrator was trying to say and it was muddied all the way from the 3rd line.

Fatboydim

I like it actually. I assume it's a contrast between the horrors of what can, does, did happen in a war zone contrasted with the petty, mundane troubles of a privileged European youth, who's concerns are about rewound video tapes [which dates it LOL] His diet [Which is no doubt full of the wrong foods - whilst the other half of the world survives on rice] and who Alex Ferguson is going to buy.

In other words we are inured to violence.

Nice one.

busted flush

Flight19 wrote: »

Busted i applaud you i tried to read it but i couldn't get the justification aspects.
Heres a little bit i remember but can't remember the title
excuse the spelling

I breath't yet it is not clear
I see it, yet it is not there
fortunes hide't from the back
crying from terror.

Am ......what?

busted flush

sitout wrote: »

Honestly this was not good at all! I never caught what the narrator was trying to say and it was muddied all the way from the 3rd line.

Maybe because you narrated it and you dont even understand yourself!!!!:D:D

busted flush

Fatboydim wrote: »

I like it actually.

Nice one.

Thank you kindly.

busted flush

Fatboydim wrote: »

I assume it's a contrast between the horrors of what can, does, did happen in a war zone contrasted with the petty, mundane troubles of a privileged European youth, who's concerns are about rewound video tapes [which dates it LOL].

A very interesting take on it to be fair, its neither accurate nor inaccurate but soundly interesting.
busted