Boyfriend in prison for 3 months

LegacyUser

Hi, wonder if someone can advice please? My boyfriend is in prison in Mountjoy for 3 months, he has been in for a month now. His job doesn't know (big company) but he is coming close to using all his holidays (and what a holiday he must be having!) so they will start asking questions, all it would take is to get a phone call from a private number (from him to his boss) to get more time out. Is there any kind of agency of anything that could be done, maybe to organise the call or even just give advice about the situation with his job? If they find out the job is gone, especially with the recession and everything. Thanks for any replies.

ManOfMystery

Lying to his work is risky and I wouldn't recommend it, but if he's going to do it, he might as well play the sick card rather than look for lots of holiday leave

niceirishfella

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Lying to his work is risky and I wouldn't recommend it, but if he's going to do it, he might as well play the sick card rather than look for lots of holiday leave

Lying is risky? Shure whats he got to loose......only his job.
However, the sick note route is much better.

Gregor Samsa

niceirishfella wrote: »

Lying is risky? Shure whats he got to loose......only his job.
However, the sick note route is much better.

Most companies require a medical cert for more than 3 days sick leave. How is he going to get a medical cert if he's in Mountjoy?

Toots

Well if he's looking to take the time as sick leave, he'll need medical certs to back it up. Does the prison allow him any time to make a phone call out at all? The only thing is, I'm not sure would the number come up as private. Could he apply to the company for unpaid leave, maybe say there's a family emergency or something. I don't think lying is really going to work though.

NilByMouth

All you need now is to find a doctor that is willing to cover the balance of his sentence with a sick note.And what will he do when his job tries to ring him and ask him how he is?strange that he is not answering his phone at all.


If its paid sick leave they might start to question the doctors note,seeing as its costing them money.

There's a flaw in the sick note plan,damned if i can see it....

Toots

The flaw is trying to find a doctor who will do up a fake sick cert. I highly doubt you'd find one. If it's paid sick leave, they'll look for your social welfare payments, and if he gets fake welfare certs and defrauds the state, he could be looking at longer than 3 months behind bars.

brian ireland

Not sure if this works in reverse but you can check it with eircom.

If you are ex directory and you want to release your number for the call you are making you can put 142 in front of the number you are calling and the person you are calling can see your number. i.e 01 123456 so dial 142 01 123456. and your number is released just once for that call.
So maybe its possible to put a 14? number in front of a listed number to block the id for one call. this way he can block the number. Worth a try. Ring Eircom and ask.

dr.bollocko

I genuinely do not think that there is any way out of this that does not involve confessing the realities of the situation. Nobody can just disappear for three months and not have a boss asking questions and no doctor will ever sign a fake sick not to cover somebody jailed so they can hide that fact from their employer. I would think that any advice advocating subterfuge would be naive at best.

Overheal

Isnt the employer legally entitled to know if you've been convicted of a felony in the last 10 years?

I think this would qualify.

finbarrk

Get him to write to his boss requesting 2 months unpaid leave because of a serious personal issue.
That is the best way out of it.

brian ireland

brian ireland wrote: »

Not sure if this works in reverse but you can check it with eircom.

If you are ex directory and you want to release your number for the call you are making you can put 142 in front of the number you are calling and the person you are calling can see your number. i.e 01 123456 so dial 142 01 123456. and your number is released just once for that call.
So maybe its possible to put a 14? number in front of a listed number to block the id for one call. this way he can block the number. Worth a try. Ring Eircom and ask.

just FYI it's 141 to block the number

I really can't see a way out of this though without more lies and possibly breaking the law again

If he has kids he could apply for urgent parental leave? although they can refuse to grant this first time round

congo_90

finbarrk wrote: »

Get him to write to his boss requesting 2 months unpaid leave because of a serious personal issue.
That is the best way out of it.

this is prolly your best option. Get him to say he's been under serious pressure [with family and gf] and needs time off for a bit and doesn't want to cause anyharm to the company so if they could give him 2 months rest unpaid he should make a recovery and hopefully return to work in good health.

If they push put it down to a mental breakdown where he's seeing a shrink but not really.

Victor

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I would think that any advice advocating subterfuge would be naive at best.

I agree.

Could I suggest that he / you talk to a solicitor specialising in employment law?

He may be entitled to some remission on his sentence for good behaviour, but I'm not sure what point a sentence becomes eligible for this, very short sentences get none.

Can I suggest that he get in contact with the support services (education, training, probation, chaplain - its pastoral, not religious as such) in the prison, so that he is seen to be behaving himself and learning from his experience.

I imagine prisoners are allowed make calls, send letters / e-mails in supervised circumstances. With e-mail, make sure the adddress isn't Unregistered'sBoyfriend@prisonservice.ie or doesn't trace back to that IP. He may even be allowed out (its punishment, not persecution) for a few hours to take care of something like this.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Jumpy

You know prison is supposed to be a punishment yes? I think losing your job gets lumped in with this.
If he has done something that warrants 3 months in Mountjoy then you are unlikely to find a doctor that will cover for it.
Shouldnt he start rehabilitating now and come clean to his workplace rather than lying through his teeth?

Rabidlamb

If he tells the truth he will loose his job.
If he's found out lying he will loose his job.

I'd take the chance on writing to request a 2 month sabbatical.
People who say he should come clean don't live in the real world where prejudices will follow him round for the rest of his life.

If he's let go it will be easy to cover the absence from work on future job applications as it coincided with the recession.

Jumpy

Rabidlamb wrote: »

If he tells the truth he will loose his job.
If he's found out lying he will loose his job.

I'd take the chance on writing to request a 2 month sabbatical.
People who say he should come clean don't live in the real world where prejudices will follow him round for the rest of his life.

If he's let go it will be easy to cover the absence from work on future job applications as it coincided with the recession.

If he tells the truth he may lose his job.
He was sent to prison, the prejudices will be there regardless.

kippy

As many have mentioned even if he does get away with a sick note/personal issues there is a large chance that this could come back to bite him again if some one finds out.
Best to advise the employer of the issue, in my opinion. He MAY not lose his job.

trad

If he got a 3 month stretch he should be out in 2 with good behaviour. If the prisons are overflowing they often allow those who have committed "lesser" offences out early.

Either way, if I was his boss I'd like to know that he is doing a prison stretch and what for so he/she (boss) has time to think about it. When it comes out, and it will, the chances are that he is out on his ear.

LegacyUser

Victor wrote: »

I agree.

Could I suggest that he / you talk to a solicitor specialising in employment law?

He may be entitled to some remission on his sentence for good behaviour, but I'm not sure what point a sentence becomes eligible for this, very short sentences get none.

Can I suggest that he get in contact with the support services (education, training, probation, chaplain - its pastoral, not religious as such) in the prison, so that he is seen to be behaving himself and learning from his experience.

I imagine prisoners are allowed make calls, send letters / e-mails in supervised circumstances. With e-mail, make sure the adddress isn't Unregistered'sBoyfriend@prisonservice.ie or doesn't trace back to that IP. He may even be allowed out (its punishment, not persecution) for a few hours to take care of something like this.

This is terrible advice. The guy will lose his job and be on the dole with a criminal record. He should fight for any chance of hanging on to it.

Dishing out this moralistic tripe is all well and good, but you're not the one facing a lifetime of unemployment.

Get the letter to the boss asking for unpaid leave. The company may even be delighted to let someone go temporarily for free and it might all work out well for him.

LegacyUser

As an employer myself I would like to know if an emplyee was in prison and depending on the crime I would then make a call onwhether to keep him or not.

maxwell smart

In the real world, he will more than likely be let go if found out. It depends on his contract, but most have a clause whereby you must inform your employer of a conviction. If he can get over this moral issue, than why not send in a letter saying he is suffering from stress? Most employers have a s**t attack when this word is mentioned. Of course, he would have to live with the consequences.
I wonder if the conviction would have an impact/relevance to his job? That might be the employers biggest concern.

It's a tough one alright

Reflector

Well thats a tough one. I would lie as if he's caught out he'll lose his job which you are convinced that he'll lose anyway if they knew he was in prison.
Also there would be a stigma attached if the employer knew he had a criminal record.

Try and get a sick not for something that takes a long time like glandular fever. Something like that. That usually knocks someone out for at least 3 months.

If this is not an option I would try and request a sabattical for 2 months for a serious personal issue. You shouldn't have to discloase what that is.

hope it works out

Jumpy

So lets get this straight.

Most of the comments in this thread are advising a convicted criminal to lie to his employer to benefit his own life. Would I have this correct yes?

LegacyUser

Jumpy wrote: »

So lets get this straight.

Most of the comments in this thread are advising a convicted criminal to lie to his employer to benefit his own life. Would I have this correct yes?

i really can't believe my eyes on this thread!!!!!

the guy got sentenced to prison - and people here are advising him to LIE in order that he may either keep his job and/or any welfare payments??????????????????????

are you people for real????

his employer has a right to know. your bf has a moral obligation to tell them. end of.

petes

Jumpy wrote: »

So lets get this straight.

Most of the comments in this thread are advising a convicted criminal to lie to his employer to benefit his own life. Would I have this correct yes?

In a nutshell. I agree though it is a difficult situation to be in. I would say that the truth will come out in the end.

partyguinness

Why not ask the prison doctor to sign him off? Might be worth a shot..

Am sure the sick note wont be headed "Mountjoy Prison Medical Centre":D

Gregor Samsa

Rabidlamb wrote: »

If he's let go it will be easy to cover the absence from work on future job applications as it coincided with the recession.

He's legally obliged to tell future prospective employers of his conviction.

Most employemt contracts also require you to disclose any convictions (there's usually an exemption for non serious motor offences) that you get while in their employment.

While there's a moral aspect to disclosing this to his employer, there's a legal aspect that's potentially much more important. The last thing someone in prison needs is to be found breaking more laws while they're inside, or recently released.

This is why "he'll lose his job either way, so he may as well take the chance" arguments for deception don't hold up.

niceirishfella

What's he in for as a matter of interest?

RossFixxxed

If he committed armed robbery and works in a bank, if he's a drug dealer who works in a pharmacy, statuatory rape and he works teaching kids to swim... That could be a problem to be fair. Lying to an employer on this could be a very very bad thing depending on the crime vs employment for a start.

However turfing someone out on the reduced dole in a recession, where prices have gone UP...

Sorry for the large amount of fence sitting. I'm loathe to say hide it though as we don't know the crime vs job.

gaz wac

" By law he has to do this and that" .."by law his employeer needs to be told the truth"....has no one ever lied on their c.v ? has no one ever lied to their boss when they call in sick for a week? without knowing the reason he is in there, we wont know if he defo needs to tell his boss, say if he didnt buy his tv licence ?? OP, if it was me, id write the letter saying problems at home can i take two months unpaid.

qwertyphobia

First thing get him to talk to the welfare officer or anyone in the prison that could get him moved to the training unit. From the training unit he can get a day pass to go out to work and come back to the prison every evening.

Celtic86

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend - but went through something similar myself 2 years ago.

With the way things are at the moment I think that his employer will start asking questions soon enough and will want to speak with him. I think his best bet is to talk to the employer as long as he got on well with them in the past. Like someone else said there are people who he can talk to in prison about this and he should ask for permission to call his job from a quiet office and tell them in the best way he can what has happened. Wouldn't advise making a call from the regular phones as it is really noisy and will probably give away where he is.

It all depends what he's in for. When I was going to court I took a week's holidays and then got someone else to make a call that I was sick but I made contact with my boss then. He was really shocked and it was really hard to tell him what happened but he came back and said that he would put me on unpaid leave and to talk to him when I got out. I did and because they still needed people he took me back on which was great.

I know he's probably tempted to take the risk of saying nothing but it will get out - I know this from trying to keep it from some people. Don't know if this helps but it's what I did.

Hope things are going well for him inside.

Chucky the tree

What kind of employer will allow an employee take 2 months unpaid leave without seeing him face to face for two months? Does he not have any friends in work? If he doesn't lie to them the chances are one of them will let slip while drinking and it will snowball from their. The chance's of getting away with this are slim, so you have the choice of telling the company and hope they let it slid or else risk getting caught and then having an impossible time getting a new job cos you have a conviction and you lied to you're old employee about it.

trad

You rarely get three months for a first offence or for that matter anything minor. Are you sure this is the type of person you want to be with?

Think long think hard - move on while you have a break

Hazys

Dreadful wrote: »

This is terrible advice. The guy will lose his job and be on the dole with a criminal record. He should fight for any chance of hanging on to it.

Dishing out this moralistic tripe is all well and good, but you're not the one facing a lifetime of unemployment.

Get the letter to the boss asking for unpaid leave. The company may even be delighted to let someone go temporarily for free and it might all work out well for him.

And he would deserve it. Its all part of the punishment.

You dont go to jail for 3 months in this country for pissing on a wall or not paying your TV license, you get jailed for a very serious criminal offense. Would your advice be different if you knew the true story of what he did to end up in jail?

OP, your boyfriend got punished with jail time and probably losing his job is part of the punishment. His attempts to lie about it, shows he hasnt learned from what he has done or come to terms with it. Tell him to take his punishment like a man and let him learn to change who he is because everything is different now and he has an opportunity to learn from his mistakes.

Wagon

Hazys wrote: »

You dont go to jail for 3 months in this country for pissing on a wall or not paying your TV license, you get jailed for a very serious criminal offense.

Dunno about that. They really kicked up about TV licences over the last few years.

irish_bob

trad wrote: »

You rarely get three months for a first offence or for that matter anything minor. Are you sure this is the type of person you want to be with?

Think long think hard - move on while you have a break

not true , i myself was facing three months for a 1st offense back in 2005 only i reluctanly paid 3000 euro to charity , i couldnt afford to take three months off work at the time so the charity money was cheaper , i was convicted of assault but my crime was defendng my property against an intruder , the courts descision said more about the presiding judge than about any facts attributed to the case , i was physically assaulted by this intruder and then hit back only the other guy managed to talk a good game in court and the judge swallowed his cock and bull story hook line and sinker , the op,s boyfriend may have been a 1st offence case but it does seem odd that he managed to evade his boss for so long

pwd

OP: A lot of people look at this website. It's probably a good idea not to put down any specific information about yourselves as someone he works with might happen upon it and make the connection.

Rb

Your boyfriend is a convicted criminal who is serving time in prison for what I can only assume is a good reason.

If you try to lie your way out of this situation, you will get bitten. Maybe not immediately but not only will he then be seen as a criminal, he'll also be seen as completely untrustworthy.

Asking a doctor to do up a sick note is absolute madness, he has already broken enough laws.

As above have him organise to talk to his employer, if he loses the job then so be it, this is what happens when you break the law and go to prison.

pwd

Some highly judgemental comments on this thread. Nobody really knows anything about the situation, so people should refrain from self-righteous bullsh!t.

Hazys

pwd wrote: »

Some highly judgemental comments on this thread. Nobody really knows anything about the situation, so people should refrain from self-righteous bullsh!t.

If i cant be self-righteous about not being a criminal and getting 3 months in prison while trying to find a way to lie to your employer about my why i not coming to work, what can you be self-righteous about?

Silverfish

Guys, can you keep the thread on topic, and leave the moderating to the mods. If you have an issue with a post, report it.

King of Kings

phutyle wrote: »

He's legally obliged to tell future prospective employers of his conviction.

don't talk crap - i've never been asked about convictions or jail or anything.
anyway he can say what he likes at a job interview - there is no legal binding at interview or application to tell the truth.
sure they kick him out if they find out he lied but he faces no legal sanction. cop on a give decent advice. some people :rolleyes:

Op he is damned if he tells the truth that much is given esp if it's a big company rather than a small place where the owner might also be the manager.

So the doctor thing is prob the best. Or else he can try and lie and say he needs unpaid leave to look after a sick relative or something...

anyway he could be out soon on good behaviour esp if it's a 3 month sentence.
He should try and get his solicitor or his local TD to look into it.

Gregor Samsa

King of Kings wrote: »

don't talk crap - i've never been asked about convictions or jail or anything.
anyway he can say what he likes at a job interview - there is no legal binding at interview or application to tell the truth.
sure they kick him out if they find out he lied but he faces no legal sanction. cop on a give decent advice. some people :rolleyes:

As it currently stands, if an employer asks, you have to declare a conviction. For sex crime convictions, you have to declare them even if not asked for jobs involving access to children or people with mental disabilities. Many employers do ask, including my last 3. That yours didn't doesn't mean much.

See this article about a proposed change in the law that will ease the burden on people with convictions regarding employment: http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2009/0428/1224245518635.html

As for your "decent advice", where do you propose that someone who is locked up in prison can get a medical cert that will give them 2 months off work without the employer checking up on it :rolleyes:

Some people indeed.

LegacyUser

finbarrk wrote: »

Get him to write to his boss requesting 2 months unpaid leave because of a serious personal issue.
That is the best way out of it.

Maybe in Americaland. We live in Ireland.

To the OP, just ask for unpaid leave for a serious personal matter and that you'll be in touch. That's all you can do. They can take it or leave it. I'd think it should work though, for most employers.

partyguinness

The fact he got 3 months in Mountjoy would suggest that he prob has been in trouble before and prob had prior convictions when he took the job in the first place.

Micky Dolenz

One of the young lads that works with us, had a no show one monday morning. I later found out he had been remanded in custody and spent a few weeks inside. The higher ups didn't mind so much and he still works with us.

I assume your boyfriend did something wrong, does he not see lying and cheating is probably why he got where he is, time to stop the rot I say...no more lies.

philologos

OP, like the rest of us, your boyfriend is subject to the law. That's the obvious part over. He should be honest and tell his employer the truth of what happened.

Secondly, I know you must care about him a lot, and that does show something. However you cannot expect that he won't be held accountable for his actions by his employer. It's going to happen, the best thing you can do is try to be there for him and help him out as much as possible to find alternative employment (if he is fired) when he is released.

Your boyfriend has committed a crime, but that doesn't mean that he cannot turn himself around when he gets out. He made a mistake, and if he is truly sorry for that mistake he will be able to put himself right with society again, and find a job.

Telling the truth will set you free from all this lying and deceit.

trad

Jakkass, if he was honest he wouldn't be in the big house