Should I risk everything ???

Rockstar*

It's a big big call to make but i've almost made up my mind. I suppose i am just posting this to gather other peoples opinion on what i am about to do and whether or not you think it sounds wise .....

I've been working in Sydney, Australia since xmas last year and travelled the East and West coasts before deciding to hang on here and work for a bit. i met a girl a few months ago and well ..... I miss her - shes gone back to her job in Ireland and we left on good terms agreeing to meet up when i returned providing neither of us were seeing anybody else.

I now want to go home earlier than planned to rekindle what we had. I still have a whole year left to run on my second year visa but am considering scrapping this to go travel a little bit more before going back to see this girl.

Thing is 1. Although i know she likes me a LOT Im worried this might be too much for her (me travelling across the world to be with her again) 2. if it doesnt work - shes the only reason i want to go home and It'd be pointless without her and 3. i worry if I dont go back sooner than planned she might meet someone else leaving me disgusted with myself for not acting.

If you dont mind contributing whats everyones views on this?

Thank you all

LegacyUser

She's got a telephone, right? Call her and talk to her about it.

Blazer

Why not call her? Or try and get her number? Or email address?
That way you could sound her out without coming all the way back here.
Be a shame if you came back and discovered that she was hooked up with a guy.

Rockstar*

Thanks for the reply so soon buddy, She hasnt met anyone. i am still in touch with her.

You see i know she would like to see me again but not sure how i could sound this out without telling her im thinking of coming home early....would a woman be freaked out a little by this or appreciate it i dont know!

Im just worried over the next 6 months that she will as you say hook up with somone else so obv thats why im thinking of getting back there!

Zambia

Rockstar* wrote: »

Thanks for the reply so soon buddy, She hasnt met anyone. i am still in touch with her.

You see i know she would like to see me again but not sure how i could sound this out without telling her im thinking of coming home early....would a woman be freaked out a little by this or appreciate it i dont know!

Im just worried over the next 6 months that she will as you say hook up with somone else so obv thats why im thinking of getting back there!

I once left a girl I was nuts about in Dublin and went back to Sydney to finish my years WHV. I got back 5 months later and she was hooked up with someone else , her now husband.

Mate do yourself a favour and follow it up, its like a wink from a pretty girl at a party it might be nothing but only a fool would not follow it to its full conclusion.

LegacyUser

Thats a real tough one. If you go home and it doesn't work out, you'll feel you lost out on your visa. If you don't go home, you'll always wonder. Might I suggest (assuming the visa allows for it and you are financially able) returning to Ireland for a bit of a holiday? If your worried the girl might get freaked out, you could say its to visit family/friends etc., but once back make her the focal point of your visit and try sort your feelings out. Even if you have to take out a loan for a return ticket, or sleep on a friend's floor, I'd do this. Its better than hedging your bets either way.

LegacyUser

I'm married to a guy with whom distances and borders and all that made our relationship very unlikely at the start, and he did actually chase me around the world. The holiday idea seems like a good one, then you'll know exactly where you stand.

wylo

Only solution I can think of is save your ass off for the next month or so and try and take a 2 week if not 3 week holiday as soon as you can (big ask I know), come home, hook up with her, try and judge the feeling,and maybe put it to her before you leave again that you were thinking of coming home early.

Your visa will be there man for the next year or so, you dont lose it just for coming home.

Rockstar*

By the way guys Im 28 in case you're wondering. The reason I say this is so you know I've been around a bit and it's not a rash inexperienced decision.

Well overnight I've decided I am definitely going to go....I'm worried as I said before and don't wanna blow my chances. The holiday idea is great but I would rather she knew I was coming back serious about starting a proper relationship so i am thinking I will need to let her know this somehow.

Appreciate the responses and would love if you could help some more on this one.:D:D

LegacyUser

good luck rockstar. think if i was this girl i would want to know basically you're looking for something exclusive with her. it's the one thing that many guys avoid trying to talk about so i think she will appreciate your honesty. think u are doing the right thing by the way as its very hard to meet someone special that you would go accross the world to be with. a year down the line she could have met someone else and well he could have taken your place! cant ye always go back to australia together sometime on hols!

Rockstar*

Thanks my friend, Just thought i would share this with you for those who have read my post. I am delighted to have made the decision and booked flights today - i know its the right one but also know I'm gonna need to treat her exactly how she should be when i get back.....hope its all worth it

ladhrann

Rockstar*,

Best of luck mate, and I hope it works out. And I hope she responds to the gesture in the appropriate fashion ;-)

Dr.Sanchez

Bullsh!t... If she liked you enough she would wait... Simple as!!

[Jackass]

Best of luck man...no matter what happens, you've made the right decision. It may work out and may be the best decision you ever made in your life...it may go to sh*t, but at least you'll have let it come to a natural conclusion...worst thing you could do would be to always leave yourself wondering "what if"........

JonathanAnon

I'm not sure that I would tell her that I was coming home especially for her. That would put a lot of pressure on both of you. Also remember if you are giving up a job in Aus, you prob wont get one here with the way things are.

b3t4

If you have a job in Aus. Do not under any circumstances come home unless you'd be happy to be on the dole.

If there is a part of you that thinks that people over here are exaggerating the level of the recession they aren't. It's really, REALLY, bad over here. No reading of a online newspaper will actually convey that to you.

Having no job is not fun. Searching endlessly for a job in a job market where there are very few jobs and over 100,000 other people vying for the same job isn't fun. All this will feed into your potential relationship and more than likely it'll destroy it. It's tough out there for people in long standing relationships in this situation not to mind a new relationship.

This is highly pessimistic but unfortunately it's also extremely realistic.

A.

Penrose

Rockstar* wrote: »

It's a big big call to make but i've almost made up my mind. I suppose i am just posting this to gather other peoples opinion on what i am about to do and whether or not you think it sounds wise .....

I've been working in Sydney, Australia since xmas last year and travelled the East and West coasts before deciding to hang on here and work for a bit. i met a girl a few months ago and well ..... I miss her - shes gone back to her job in Ireland and we left on good terms agreeing to meet up when i returned providing neither of us were seeing anybody else.

I now want to go home earlier than planned to rekindle what we had. I still have a whole year left to run on my second year visa but am considering scrapping this to go travel a little bit more before going back to see this girl.

Thing is 1. Although i know she likes me a LOT Im worried this might be too much for her (me travelling across the world to be with her again) 2. if it doesnt work - shes the only reason i want to go home and It'd be pointless without her and 3. i worry if I dont go back sooner than planned she might meet someone else leaving me disgusted with myself for not acting.

If you dont mind contributing whats everyones views on this?

Thank you all

Call her first or e-mail, you would be a fool to travel all the way across the world for a woman only for her to have to pay your way.