Friends with benefits

LegacyUser

I could really use some insight on this.

I’ve been friends with this girl for about a year now, and during that time we’ve had a bit of a kiss and a cuddle a few times but nothing too serious and I’ve also told her that I have feelings for her, but she said she just wants to remain friends

The last time we kissed was well before Christmas and since then we have remained friends as she made it clear that’s all she wants, so I’ve respected her wishes and haven’t tried to kiss or anything since, but we still hang out a few times a week which I really enjoy.

Now my problem is that we were texting last Thursday night and she started to say that I must be sick of her and that she wouldn’t blame me if I was, and I was trying to reassure her that couldn’t be further from the truth because I look foreward to spending time with her, so I told her that I think she’s the nicest, kindest, most beautiful girl I know(which I ment by the way)and that I’m proud to be able to say that we’re friends.

She replied to this saying that she was glad we were friends too and that maybe sometimes we could be friends with benefits. I said that would be great and we texted for another little while and and when we were saying goodnight to each other she said goodnight……….friend with benefits.

However the next morning at 8 oclock she text me and said not to mind what she said last night cause she was after drinking wine and just to forget about it. I haven’t heard much from her since. I just want to add that she is extremely shy.

I’d just like to know if people when under the influence of a few glasses people say what is really on there mind or just make up something like that out of the clear blue sky. I could really use some help, and sorry about the length of the post

Dravokivich

When drinking a bitthere seems to be a huge case of Dutch Courage...

.. I've gotten it alot myself, but generally tried not to act on it.

If i was in her position it would be the friendship i'd be concerned about... She possibly trailed off on her thoughts and then when she got her head back together in the morn, felt a bit embarrased over it.

I recon you should try to arrange hanging out with her sometime, as mates. Don't show any resentment and don't bring anythign up about it.

- Drav!

PCPhoto

OP....I'm sorry to say that this girl was probably just drunk and playing with you (possibly for the benefit of her friends).

she obviously knows how much you want to actually be with her and would jump at the chance....I hope she doesnt take advantage of you in other ways (asking you to do stuff or maybe borrow money etc)



A friend will bail you out after you've been jailed .... a true friend will be in the jail with you !!! (read that somewhere thought I would throw it in)

purplekitty

ah noooo..

how confusing for you!!!

i must admit, sometimes when i've had a few drinks and im texting my guy friends i will be overtly friendly.

theres a certain reason why textin when drunk is like, THE DEVIL.
maybe she finally got up the courage to tell you what she was really thinking about you,

but lads, let me tell ya straight, having friends with benefits just gets confusing after a while and will, I REPEAT "WILL", break a friendship. one of you will always feel more for the other.

in your situation, just laugh it off, dont be slagging her or joshing her about it,

but be conscious of the signs next time your out with her.
what wh is she reponding to u physically.

the female of the species is more deadlier then the male.
fact

Carsinian Thau

Unregistered wrote: »

I’d just like to know if people when under the influence of a few glasses people say what is really on there mind or just make up something like that out of the clear blue sky.

Unfortunately, both is the answer to your question.

Just do your best to return the friendship to the way it was. She asked you to forget about this incident so never mentioning it again is a good way to start with that.

I would also advise you to not pursue a "friends with benefits" scenario with her. If such a situation were to arise it would be very tempting, but your feelings for her suggest a relationship with her is what you currently want. If you were to go down that road, you would get hurt.

This situation must be very confusing for you. Just keep a clear head and you'll come out of this ok.