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My best friend

  • 22-06-2009 05:15PM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 85 ✭✭


    hi everyone, i am new to this but i am desperate for advise.... my mum died when i was 35 she was only 58 herself and within weeks i fell pregnant my first (this is her daddys account i dont have one yet) and have now a beautiful baby girl now 9 months. my best friend is like a mother to me and is in her seventys but a very young seventys. we get on so wellmy husband was only allowed time off for the birth at work and my friend was here every day doing the shopping etc as i was still recovering from a c section my friend is so supportive and i will do anything for her and i mean anything. she is my daughters godmother and i accept she has her responsabillities.

    Just latelly my friend has started coming around just before my husband gets home and asks what i have done for tea and to make sure its on the way she has also started telling me to start getting my baby booked into a creche and school. when i got pregnant my husband and i spoke about what we would do and he wants me to just take the years with the baby and enjoy them especially as it is my first and this is what i want to. my friend is almost like unknowingly bullying me to get my baby in a creshe and me to start a job and it is really upsetting me. i spoke to my husband yesterday and he said just tell her we have arranged everything and it is all sorted as for the dinner bit he said just put up a two week menu and if she asks point her to it, and if she asks why its not started its because he phoned and said he would be late or he is bringing in a takeaway.

    i dont feel like i could challenge her as if i offended her (which is easy to do) i would be even more upset as she really is like a mother to me and i love her so much but is lieing the right root to take? :confused:


Comments

  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,380 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    She's probably in the habit of being around someone that needs her help...

    AS you said she'd be early 70's...

    Would she of had kids she rasied... and then grandkids she would of helped out with on top of that?

    She problably felt in the zone being around for you when you were wiped of yer feet and seems to be still advising you through what she'd consider pro-active help of some kind. She's got experience and she's more then willing to share it, but probably doesn't notice how much of a disposition her current advice is going...

    You'll just need to say to her flat out, you appreciate the help she's given and the guidance has been taken into consideration, but you'd rather raise your kid and be active in their upbringing instead of using a creche, and that you have arrangements already between yourself and your husband about meals between the pair of ye.

    maybe its easier said to yourself then to your friend, but thats the bottom line of it.

    Just remember to mention how gratefull you are for the help and that your not trying to cut her off in anyway, but this is the situation ye feel works for the pair of ye, now.

    - Drav!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 85 ✭✭roadrunner 1


    and i am so very greatful she has grown up kids who are all older than me and she calls them a bollox as they all live at home and do nothing. there are no grandchildren for her. and yes she is pissed off about that bless her


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