The ultimate loneliness thread - help

LegacyUser

How did I get here and what do I do..

Im 43, divorced, one child (whom I adore and see lots off..but she's 15 and would rathetr her friends company..)

Im living in rented accom, just after breaking up with love of my life whom I lived with for last year..so Im also heartbroken...

I have NO family..one brother whom I dont get on with, dad dead, mum with dementia in nursing home..no other family to speak of..a few cousins down the country that I never really had any contact with..

No real friends..I do have a gang of 'friends' from my 'hobby' and we do see each other quite often..but they all have their own lives..

No one knows my address, noone visits, if I died tonight the only one seeking me would be my daughter..

I have a good job (no social life from that at all..) plenty of money (am awaiting property prices to fall further before I buy somewhere) Im quite outgoing and friendly and popular...but at my age it doesnt lead to friendships in reality...

so what to do? Except for my daughter Im not too sure its worth going on......

Any advice? beside the usual join a club stuff (if I did join a club I most likely would get along with people there but it wouldnt lead to friendships..)

Imagine that noone except my daughter and her mum now know where I live...or care..help

LegacyUser

'morning, just came across your post by accident -- was attacted by the headline as I am going through exactly the same thing and though I don't have any answer to your "what do I do" maybe it'll at least help to know that you're not alone:

I'm 49, divorced, female with no children even though I always wanted lots but couldn't have any, looking after my 83-year old mother who's extremely depressed because she cannot cope with old age, and I've just broken up after a great 2 year relationship - I cannot believe this has happened to me again. I am struggling to get up in the morning as I don't see the point right now.

I'm financially secure but after a long messy divorce, it's left a bitter taste ... and I'm healthy -- I also have a great brother to lean on - so those are the things I try to concentrate on. And hope that in six months things will look brighter.

So you're healthy, you have a job, you're male (it's easier on your own, believe me!), time heals and once it does, go look and you'll find a new soulmate....

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

'morning, just came across your post by accident -- was attacted by the headline as I am going through exactly the same thing and though I don't have any answer to your "what do I do" maybe it'll at least help to know that you're not alone:

I'm 49, divorced, female with no children even though I always wanted lots but couldn't have any, looking after my 83-year old mother who's extremely depressed because she cannot cope with old age, and I've just broken up after a great 2 year relationship - I cannot believe this has happened to me again. I am struggling to get up in the morning as I don't see the point right now.

I'm financially secure but after a long messy divorce, it's left a bitter taste ... and I'm healthy -- I also have a great brother to lean on - so those are the things I try to concentrate on. And hope that in six months things will look brighter.

So you're healthy, you have a job, you're male (it's easier on your own, believe me!), time heals and once it does, go look and you'll find a new soulmate....

OP here
thanks but its not just the 'love life' ..at this stage Im more concerned that I could have an accident at home and noone except my daughetr would miss me....

I need to change this NOW !!!

Nevyn

Well then time to make more firends to get you invovled in more peoples life and they in yours.

http://www.volunteer.ie/

You have time to spend as you wish, so why not spend it making a positive different to people's lives, which in turns makes a postivie impact on yours.

jeni

hiya

why not ask one or some of your friends from your hobby club if they want to go to a gig or cinema or pub some evening after your club - you say they have their own lives, but why cant you be part of that,
just because they havn't asked you, does not mean you cant ask them

or even a dinner party or a bbq - invite people from work and their partners, get a few beers and snacks in,
and if you ask people from both work and your club new friendships could be formed

try to stop thinking of your self in such a dim light and look at what you do have, and use what you do have

best of luck and dont worry - your just in a slump things will soon get better, ive been there done that - you will be fine