Feel alone, unloved, un-special

LegacyUser

Ok I know un-special is not a word but its bloody hard saying how I feel. Im single for the first time in about 4 years. its sh1t because Im on my own now. There is no way back to my ex girlfriend. It did'nt end bad, its just over. whatever was there between us just dissolved. I wish we had a fight or one of us did something wrong, Because then i could hate her and want to avoid her. But no, We just broke up. It happened a week ago and I can barely eat or sleep. I dont do anything. We weren;t joined at the hip but I now have a massive void in my life I need to fill.
I keep crying and loooking at old photos. This is bloody hard. i told her i missed her and I got a response which was nice, but clear there was no way back for us. we are over. I dont want a rebound girl. I dont know what I want. AGH!

What do I do? What can I do? Anybody have any expierence of this?

LegacyUser

Hi there:

Im sorry to hear that, however we have all been there at some stage in our lives and I know it sucks big time! and the only way to get over it is time really.
Over this period, friends help a lot, talk to them about what you are going through.
It also is a great time to learn about yourself, and to learn to be on your own.
Enjoy it! I know its hard but try to look forward, and try to avoid loking at old pictures, tho if you are feeling terrible let it go.
Hope it helps
Cheers

Eun

heya,

I think everyone has gone through that stage at some stage in their life.
When you told her you missed her, I think you really meant you missed the company. From what you said it sounds like the relationship dried up and now you need to get back to yourself and get over this girl before you start dating again.
For some people, they go for rebound girls to help get over the ex. Some people get over the ex first and spend alot of time with friends. It really suites the person but since you dont know what you want I cant help you there, you need to figure it out for yourself.

But I do know you need to forget about her one way or another.
You have to Stop looking at old photos and get rid of everything that reminds you of her.
You have to break the connection and do it as fast as possible, the longer you leave it the worse it will get.

Try look at it this way...Your single again!! Go out and have fun, go out on a lads night and go mad!! You have no ties anymore!

But whatever you do, do not contact her, text her, phone her! Block her off for good! Hope this helps

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Ok I know un-special is not a word but its bloody hard saying how I feel. Im single for the first time in about 4 years. its sh1t because Im on my own now. There is no way back to my ex girlfriend. It did'nt end bad, its just over. whatever was there between us just dissolved. I wish we had a fight or one of us did something wrong, Because then i could hate her and want to avoid her. But no, We just broke up. It happened a week ago and I can barely eat or sleep. I dont do anything. We weren;t joined at the hip but I now have a massive void in my life I need to fill.
I keep crying and loooking at old photos. This is bloody hard. i told her i missed her and I got a response which was nice, but clear there was no way back for us. we are over. I dont want a rebound girl. I dont know what I want. AGH!

What do I do? What can I do? Anybody have any expierence of this?

it would be nice to make some soft and cuddly comments that might soften the experience.... but I won't, because it would do you no good.

Welcome to the human race !!!

Life is about a journey through the ups and downs and the loves and leavings of the human experience. There will be no highs... without lows.

You need to step back and look at the big picture ... and see this is as just a pause in your journey forward to the next experience. Is it nice ? hell no ! But you have yourself to love you and value you - and you have your friends and family.

All the best.

dreamer2009

Think everyone has been in this situation at some stage. My two cents is to keep busy. Means you have less time to dwell on the past & also means you are getting out more with a chance of meeting new friends&maybe when your ready a new girlfriend. And lean on your friends if you need to. thats what they're there for!

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

It did'nt end bad, its just over. whatever was there between us just dissolved.

So it's no longer there. Better to be single than hanging on to something that has "dissolved".

Unregistered wrote: »

I now have a massive void in my life I need to fill. I keep crying and loooking at old photos.

Looking at old photos won't fill a void. And remember that void was there ANYWAY, because whatever you had was gone. You're just tormenting yourself.

The ONLY way around this is to enjoy yourself, your hobbies, your time, and your own company, as well as that of your friends & family.

Because when you do meet someone new (and it will happen) then you'll need to be the confident, happy, self-assured person that you can be.

BTW, we've ALL been there. So you're not alone.

But regardless of what we say here to reassure you of that, or whatever, there's only ONE person that can make you happy - YOU.

Best of luck!

blindpilot

I know its been said many times before but time is all you need. Stop looking at the old photos. If you realise there's no way back its time to move on. i've been in your situation before. It was hell at the start but gradually I moved on, accepted what happened happened and started lliving my own life again. From my own experience I've realised it was for the best and looking back I'm glad it finished. It may seem like all is lost now mate but it will get better. Spend some time with friends and family. Try and have some fun. I hope it works out for you.

epik

Seems everyone here has got your best interests at heart. Its horrible, I know. Believe me I know. The fact that it didn't end badly sometimes can be worse because you can't get angry at that person and just say **** it, **** them. I want to say don't dwell on it, but I'm sure the way you feel now that'd be like asking you not to breathe. It does get better though. The old adage about time healing? Cliché but true.

LegacyUser

op here. I just want to say thanks a million guys and gals. Venting my frustration has certanly helped. I know time will heal things and I'm trying to keep myself busy. Im great at dishing out advice myself but its a lot different when its yourself who needs the advice. I've been talking to friends and plan to go out a bit more in the next week. Maybe see what the weathers like. lol
I'll try my best not to look at old photos., but i think I'll keep them because they were good times and happy memories. but for now they are in my bottom drawer with all the presents i recieved off her and other thing that remind me of her.

Thanks again boardsies

VaioCruiser

Excellent decisions my friend. I wish you the best of luck and I am sure that with that attitude, things will continue to improve steadily.

Jessiegirl

I'm glad you have a great attitude going. Are you the same person who posted on my recent break up thread?

LegacyUser

sorry jessiegirl that wasnt me, thanks for the encouragement though.

legend365

Focus on improving yourself and you'll soon forget the reason why.

Either physical (gym, sports, clubs) or mental (college, career, knowledge) you'll have little time to sit and ponder.

Was in similiar situation. Empty gap, loads of time to kill, friends all off with gf's. Just got out there joined some clubs and started doing alot more hours in work. Now im glad to have a minute to myself.